Help with the Last Line, a Short Poem

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Victoria Bastedo

Victoria Bastedo

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Lol. This is completely not important at all. I just wanted to put it on facebook for my friends! Ahem.

'What a Book Should be' and, 'What's Wrong with me',
I can't allow myself to think about these---

For if I do, I can't write the first 'halloo',
Without wondering, if I'm a bumbling _____

Ha ha, bumbling WHAT? It has to rhyme with 'these', right?
 
cheese (or a rolling cheese)
bees (to make it: 'if I'm bumbling ayes and bees')
tease
wheeze
zombies (bumbling zombies, which would need amendment of the last line: ??)
or last line:
Without bumbling all my wordly responsibilities

I'm sure there are lots to play with.
 
CageSage said:
cheese (or a rolling cheese)
bees (to make it: 'if I'm bumbling ayes and bees')
tease
wheeze
zombies (bumbling zombies, which would need amendment of the last line: ??)
or last line:
Without bumbling all my wordly responsibilities

I'm sure there are lots to play with.
Click to expand...
I'm liking your effort, but none of these make me sneeze? Fly my kite in a breeze?
 
Without wondering, if I'm a bumbling _____

Without wondering if I'm tumbling with the breeze
 
For if I do, I can't write the first 'halloo',
Without wondering, if I'm a bumbling _____

It's about the metre, the scanning as much as the rhyming. This version for instance has 10 beats per line. Count them on your fingers.

Or I can't even write the first 'halloo',
Without this helluva hullaballoo
 
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