Katie-Ellen
Full Member
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- #31
Trouble with conforming is, you could never conform enough for some, Lady Emerald, no matter what you did or didn't do. As you will already have found out, I'm sure. Disapproval is to be expected from any prevailing orthodoxy, and proceeds from their own fear of change or challenge and is meant to cow you. It is a good litmus test for you of their limitations and insecurities, how they react to change. Scarf on, scarf off. Who can cope with either, who can't. Whoever can't, oh dear, as if life hasn't greater changes to throw at us anytime, good grief. Some human truths are eternal, but life demands agility, and orthodoxies are the enemy of agility. My mother (and I am most fortunate in this, we are greatest of friends) told me once how she had a eureka moment, and realised her mother actually disliked her. Positively disliked her. She said that understanding this was a liberation. No self flagellation, no need for therapy, no trying to court favour with her mother to get her to like her better. It was as it was. It's not easy to feel like the cat who walks alone. Though when you strike out in new directions, you're liable to meet many another cat doing the same, at least in some respect. You can be a cat that walks alone even within marriage. And this isn't meant as advice either, - just nattering