Rejection from agent's new assistant reader

[Karen J]

Had a nice rejection letter back in March. They gave the option of resubmitting. This is the kind of positive feedback that gives a writer encouragement. I'd sent in the query, synopsis, & first 3 chapters. Here's what they said.

Actual agent: I really love this story: the characters, the obstacles and resolution in the synopsis. You've captured the seed of tension mystery at the beginning, I like the pace; makes me want to read more. My main reason for the rejection is the word count is too high for the current market. Should you decide to revise, please resubmit and let me know it is a resubmission and the reason.

Me (*thinking*) Wow! How awesome are they to take the time for that much input. They love the book & yeah I can see the count's too much for a debut. I'll revise.

I am ruthless in my revision. If it absolutely doesn't need to be there, ie: too much background or details etc, it's outta there. I take the advice from others to tighten the first chapters; keeping the pace but expanding details where needed. I've redone a better query and even tightened the synopsis. I resubmit direct to them with explanation. Here's the new rejection I found in my email this morning.

Not Actual agent but agent's BRAND NEW reader: I feel this needs more of a chance to get to know your main characters and their world before diving into the action. Consider beginning your novel in an "active" manner with tension upfront that creates an opportunity for you to "show" your characters. The pacing is rushed.

So-- actual agent: likes the MC's, pace, action, & tension mystery.
--agent's reader: dislikes the MC's, the pace, action & tension so he won't be showing it to them.

The reader is rejecting based on his opinion even though the agent wants it. Even though the query's first line shows it's a re-sub with reason. I can't believe all the hard work I put in to give an agent what they ask for and they'll never see it. Doesn't get more depressing than that.

 

[Claire G]

Do you have a direct email address for the agent? I'd submit the revamp direct if possible!

 

[Rachel Caldecott]

@AgentPete is better placed to answer this.
Perhaps you were too ruthless in your revision or rushed it. I just wonder whether you should step back a bit, give it a few weeks, and then attack it anew. If the original agent felt everything was good apart from the word count, perhaps there are other ways to reduce the words while keeping the pace, action and tension. Seems heartbreaking to be so close.
I had something similar with my first novel. An ex-employee of the agency Darley Anderson liked my self-published book and encouraged me to send it to her YA colleague at the agency. This agent also said she liked it but had a couple of things she thought should be changed, so told me to go off and revise it. I did. Unfortunately, I rushed the revisions, managed to ignore the bits she wanted me to fix, and fixed something else entirely. (So, instead of A&B, I fixed Y&Z). Naturally, she turned me down. After the second rejection, the penny dropped and I understood what she meant. But it was too late. Agents don't normally give a third chance. (Mind you, mine is a much, much better book since I finally followed the D.A. woman's advice.)
However, personally, I think you should probably try to talk to the original agent, but make sure you've done what he/she suggested in the first place.
Then again, if Pete says forget it, then do what he says. There are other agents out there. Good luck.

 

[Karen J]

Do you have a direct email address for the agent? I'd submit the revamp direct if possible!

They aren't showing a direct email or twitter handle. They only want thru QT.

 

[James Charles]

Had a nice rejection letter back in March. They gave the option of resubmitting. This is the kind of positive feedback that gives a writer encouragement. I'd sent in the query, synopsis, & first 3 chapters. Here's what they said.

Actual agent: I really love this story: the characters, the obstacles and resolution in the synopsis. You've captured the seed of tension mystery at the beginning, I like the pace; makes me want to read more. My main reason for the rejection is the word count is too high for the current market. Should you decide to revise, please resubmit and let me know it is a resubmission and the reason.

Me (*thinking*) Wow! How awesome are they to take the time for that much input. They love the book & yeah I can see the count's too much for a debut. I'll revise.

I am ruthless in my revision. If it absolutely doesn't need to be there, ie: too much background or details etc, it's outta there. I take the advice from others to tighten the first chapters; keeping the pace but expanding details where needed. I've redone a better query and even tightened the synopsis. I resubmit direct to them with explanation. Here's the new rejection I found in my email this morning.

Not Actual agent but agent's BRAND NEW reader: I feel this needs more of a chance to get to know your main characters and their world before diving into the action. Consider beginning your novel in an "active" manner with tension upfront that creates an opportunity for you to "show" your characters. The pacing is rushed.

So-- actual agent: likes the MC's, pace, action, & tension mystery.
--agent's reader: dislikes the MC's, the pace, action & tension so he won't be showing it to them.

The reader is rejecting based on his opinion even though the agent wants it. Even though the query's first line shows it's a re-sub with reason. I can't believe all the hard work I put in to give an agent what they ask for and they'll never see it. Doesn't get more depressing than that.

Yep. Therein lies the overall problem with such a subjective business. We all have read books (oh my, this month's Litopia book club book is case in point) that we put down (quit), and wonder what it is that we are not getting that so many others got. So it is with our stories. I am reading a book from a best selling author, and I'm struggling because it is slow, meanders, and not much happens. So frustrating when 30 beta readers have read my MS and say WOW! But agents reject, reject, reject. Just keep up the good fight...

 

[Karen J]

Yep. Therein lies the overall problem with such a subjective business. We all have read books (oh my, this month's Litopia book club book is case in point) that we put down (quit), and wonder what it is that we are not getting that so many others got. So it is with our stories. I am reading a book from a best selling author, and I'm struggling because it is slow, meanders, and not much happens. So frustrating when 30 beta readers have read my MS and say WOW! But agents reject, reject, reject. Just keep up the good fight...

I'm struggling with agents who won't specify they're only interested in MG/YA/NA in my 2 genres. And my betas all spoke positive of mine -- even the one who spoke of changing an argument scene because it wasn't reading true. I knew it wasn't beforehand so I'd asked for input from those who still suffer with the dreaded 'Teenager Syndrome' in their house. I took their advice, rewrote it more realistic ( 5 sentences and 2 dialogue lines) and made the scene better.

Had someone who wants to be a book coach ask if she could practice on the 1st chapter of mine. Note--I didn't seek her out. She messaged me. What I got back was laughable in terms of edits. She wanted me to chance the whole premise of 1 MC. Questioned what the word 'scrutinizing' meant. Questioned my authority on how an abuse victim acted (let her have it 'both barrels' as the saying goes on that one). Asked who a minor character was when I'd said who they were 5 sentences above. Said I needed to immediately give details, names, & background for every character otherwise a reader won't understand. (What do you picture if I say 'male nurse' in a hospital setting, who only says 10 words all total then are never seen again). And the kicker for me was saying I couldn't have any character talk to themselves because NO one in real life talks to themselves.

I sent back clarifications to most of her comments. Not sure how to respond to a single 'HA!' she'd put for one sentence. I wasn't snarky or disrespectful (not even when I told her my abuse victim expertise). She didn't like that I gave answers to her questions. I thought that's what one is supposed to do -- others have said they back & forth with editors.

 

[AgentPete]

This is more easily handled in the Huddle, but briefly:

Actual agent: I really love this story: the characters, the obstacles and resolution in the synopsis. You've captured the seed of tension mystery at the beginning, I like the pace; makes me want to read more. My main reason for the rejection is the word count is too high for the current market. Should you decide to revise, please resubmit and let me know it is a resubmission and the reason.

Me (*thinking*) Wow! How awesome are they to take the time for that much input. They love the book & yeah I can see the count's too much for a debut. I'll revise.

Sometimes rejections can be very misleading. Agents/pubs may offer a reason that, when it comes down to the wire, isn’t actually the cause of rejection. It’s… “complicated”. That’s human nature to some extent… always easier to say “not quite the right length” than… “I just don’t like it enough”.

So… first thing you need to do is to find out if agent is really telling the truth or just obfuscating. You should have replied along these lines…


“Thank you so much Jerry, you don’t know how much it means to me to have authentic feedback such as this!

Yes, I can see that I’ve over-delivered a bit.

Tell me, what sort of length hits the commercial sweet spot at the moment? It won’t take me very long to do some judicious editing.

Thanks again for your response.”


So… if they come back and say – 40,000 words – do it. If they hum and ha… then they’re not really being straight with you. Clear?

Not Actual agent but agent's BRAND NEW reader: I feel this needs more of a chance to get to know your main characters and their world before diving into the action. Consider beginning your novel in an "active" manner with tension upfront that creates an opportunity for you to "show" your characters. The pacing is rushed.

So-- actual agent: likes the MC's, pace, action, & tension mystery.
--agent's reader: dislikes the MC's, the pace, action & tension so he won't be showing it to them.

You missed the chance above to (a) establish direct line of comms with agent, not their accursed reader, and (b) because of that you’re getting the run-around.

The reader is rejecting based on his opinion even though the agent wants it. Even though the query's first line shows it's a re-sub with reason. I can't believe all the hard work I put in to give an agent what they ask for and they'll never see it. Doesn't get more depressing than that.

You need to tell this to the reader, forcefully but politely. Get the thing back under the agent’s nose.

What do you have to lose?

 

[Rachel Caldecott]

This is more easily handled in the Huddle, but briefly:


Sometimes rejections can be very misleading. Agents/pubs may offer a reason that, when it comes down to the wire, isn’t actually the cause of rejection. It’s… “complicated”. That’s human nature to some extent… always easier to say “not quite the right length” than… “I just don’t like it enough”.

So… first thing you need to do is to find out if agent is really telling the truth or just obfuscating. You should have replied along these lines…


“Thank you so much Jerry, you don’t know how much it means to me to have authentic feedback such as this!

Yes, I can see that I’ve over-delivered a bit.

Tell me, what sort of length hits the commercial sweet spot at the moment? It won’t take me very long to do some judicious editing.

Thanks again for your response.”


So… if they come back and say – 40,000 words – do it. If they hum and ha… then they’re not really being straight with you. Clear?



You missed the chance above to (a) establish direct line of comms with agent, not their accursed reader, and (b) because of that you’re getting the run-around.


You need to tell this to the reader, forcefully but politely. Get the thing back under the agent’s nose.

What do you have to lose?

Once more Agent Pete proves his worth!!!