Know any bad spellers?

[Paul Whybrow]

Give them this mug, as a rude way of correcting them!

 

[James Marinero]

Super. Just right for somebody doing the grand tourette.

 

[Bernard Stacey]

Wonderful!
Can I personalise mine and add "Like - not a f***ing substitute for said." ?

 

[James Marinero]

Wonderful!
Can I personalise mine and add "Like - not a f***ing substitute for said." ?

Whatever!

 

[Richard Turner]

Give them this mug, as a rude way of correcting them!

I want to make a protest here about swear words in general. They can be very effective tools in writing, but their shock value is greatly decreased when they get over-used as here. It really isn't clever any more to use "fucking" in this way, and personally to me it looks silly - childish. But then I find a lot of what appears in social media childish - especially emojis!

 

[Katie-Ellen]

Yes and no. I think it serves as a piquant reminder of the expressive versatility of old anglo-saxon.

 

[Richard Turner]

Yes and no. I think it serves as a piquant reminder of the expressive versatility of old anglo-saxon.

Yes, and it's the versatility I want to preserve. We need to be able to use it as a verb as well as an adjective or adverb.

 

[Katie-Ellen]

Hehehehe.

Well played, sirrah

 

[Paul Whybrow]

I'm inclined to agree that swearing is used unwisely, for the most part. As a young man, I had a student vacation job working in a washer factory. It was an eye-opening experience, for I suddenly realised that everything I owned was made in some sort of factory somewhere and that people spent their entire lives tending machines that made things.

This factory was all sorts of washers, from those used in watchmaking, where 100 would take up the space of your thumbnail, to huge and heavy washers as big as dinner plates, that were used on the massive nuts and bolts of supertanker and steam engines. It was a very noisy work environment and everyone shouted, adding 'fuck' in various forms to every sentence to emphasise what they meant. It ceased to be a swear word, taking on the status of a group identifier—you could tell someone worked at the washer factory in the local pub, by how often they said 'fuck'. I was almost surprised not to see 'Fucking Egg & Chips' on the canteen menu.

I had a problem with swearing in my WIP, which is the third in a series of psychological thrillers featuring a Cornish detective. From knowing a few coppers and criminals, they swear a lot, more than would make for an edifying story to read, if I replicated their foul language in my narrative. Irvine Welsh can get away with this sort of filthy diatribe, in crime stories such as Filth, but my policemen and criminals are rather more genteel. I save their swearing for when they're under stress, and it makes more of an impact.

It's maybe just as well, that our writing software doesn't record how many times we swear while creating our stories!

 

[Katie-Ellen]

Cop humour, ambo humour, armed forces....

Safety valve swearing.

 

[Marc Joan]

Would a bad speller be a wicked which?

I'll get my coat. . .

 

[Richard Turner]

Would a bad speller be a wicked which?

I'll get my coat. . .

Wonderful!

 

[Chase Gamwell]

@Paul Whybrow It took me longer than I care to admit to figure out what you meant by "washers"...

 

[Paul Whybrow]

And 'washer' is one of those mysterious words whose derivation is unknown. It was first recorded in 1346, but not defined until 1611.

 

[KG Christopher]

What about this... butterfly or a flutterby ?

 

[James Marinero]

As it happens I was shocked today on the swearing front. Anchored in Portugal, I was composing a text in Portuguese (surprise) to ask the man with the water boat to please come and deliver 400 litres of water to me. My Rough Guide phrasebook has a whole page devoted to swearing (rough guide)! OK, I can do higo da puta (sp?) because that's regularly in the football news. The Rough Guide page is entitled 'colloquialisms', fair enough. I don't know why 'bestial' = 'fantastic' figures in there, but the page does recommend that I am certain of my audience before using these words. I've been usng words like merda regularly in the minimarket when at the checkout I discover they don't take plastic and I've forgotten to go to the bank (an age thing). The ladies haven't slapped me (yet).

This is clearly a tolo (silly) post and many of you will call me a cabrao (bastard) for wasting your time. Ora essa (don't be stupid) I just thought that it might help you understand what Jose Mourinho - a louco (nutter) is saying when he tells BBC sports journos to va para o caralho (Anglo Saxon) and va par o inferno (should be obvious). And yes, I get my 400 litres tomorrow without having to use any of these words.

Sorry @Paul Whybrow - what's that all got to do with the price of washers (no translation available right now)? Imbecil! (no translation necessary), I'm half grosso (pissed) - out of water, so reduced to drinking vino - until tomorrow. Merda!