Rachel Caldecott
Full Member
So I didn't win, didn't even get long or short listed, but they did give feedback 
. My submission was a slightly older version (one from prior the submissions surgery with @AgentPete), so not the best it could have been. A couple of the issues raised are now irrelevant. Nevertheless I'm rather chuffed with this feedback and had to share with my Litopian brothers and sisters:
This entry placed in the top 50+% of all entries to the Grindstone International Novel Prize - Special Guest Judge Literary Agent Emma Finn of C+W Literary Agency.
Your feedback:I thought the concept behind your story was very unique and I liked the fantasy twist behind it. I really enjoyed that Flo could talk telepathically to Lonce and how animals and humans co-existed together. At first, I thought Lonce was a human, so maybe make it a little clearer in the beginning that he is an animal, just so we don't get mixed up. I also would like to know why animals and humans co-exist in this fashion and can everyone talk to them telepathically. Maybe make a prologue about it or have a little excerpt so we know why the world is like it is in the story, even if it is a common thing for the theme of the book. It's hard for me to picture a court case at this moment in the story because it seems like their world is so advanced, court cases wouldn't be a thing. I also don't necessarily think it is a bad idea to have Lonce speak for coherently. I know he is a snow leopard but it seems like in the world they are in, he could talk like you and me and it wouldn't be weird, just because he knows he can talk to other telepathically, knew something was wrong with the people who did the explosions, he seems intelligent so it would work fine for him to speak in clear sentences. Overall, I liked the story and thought it was good. You did great hooking the reader and engaging them throughout the story and I persoanlly liked you concept, it was unique and interesting. I would love to see more of this story and with just a little more added to it then it will really shine be and amazing. Keep up the good work and the good writing.
. My submission was a slightly older version (one from prior the submissions surgery with @AgentPete), so not the best it could have been. A couple of the issues raised are now irrelevant. Nevertheless I'm rather chuffed with this feedback and had to share with my Litopian brothers and sisters:This entry placed in the top 50+% of all entries to the Grindstone International Novel Prize - Special Guest Judge Literary Agent Emma Finn of C+W Literary Agency.
Your feedback:I thought the concept behind your story was very unique and I liked the fantasy twist behind it. I really enjoyed that Flo could talk telepathically to Lonce and how animals and humans co-existed together. At first, I thought Lonce was a human, so maybe make it a little clearer in the beginning that he is an animal, just so we don't get mixed up. I also would like to know why animals and humans co-exist in this fashion and can everyone talk to them telepathically. Maybe make a prologue about it or have a little excerpt so we know why the world is like it is in the story, even if it is a common thing for the theme of the book. It's hard for me to picture a court case at this moment in the story because it seems like their world is so advanced, court cases wouldn't be a thing. I also don't necessarily think it is a bad idea to have Lonce speak for coherently. I know he is a snow leopard but it seems like in the world they are in, he could talk like you and me and it wouldn't be weird, just because he knows he can talk to other telepathically, knew something was wrong with the people who did the explosions, he seems intelligent so it would work fine for him to speak in clear sentences. Overall, I liked the story and thought it was good. You did great hooking the reader and engaging them throughout the story and I persoanlly liked you concept, it was unique and interesting. I would love to see more of this story and with just a little more added to it then it will really shine be and amazing. Keep up the good work and the good writing.
. Even in the cold light of day I am still very chuffed. Although this morning I woke up thinking blasphemous thoughts, like: 'Jeeeez this business is sooo subjective!' 
Mind you, it might be like an English person saying "We must get together sometime", they don't really expect you to turn up.
