How To Land A Literary Agent - free Kindle book

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Strunk & White - The Elements of Style - free ebook.

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Paul Whybrow

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Jun 20, 2015
Cornwall, UK
I started reading Noah Lukeman's 'The First Five Pages' last night - excellent, so far. Noah Lukeman is a highly experienced literary agent based in New York, though he's not taking on any new clients at the moment.

He's written a number of well-reviewed books on writing, including 'How to Land (and Keep) a Literary Agent.'

This is available as a free Kindle edition:

U.K. - http://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Land-Ke...8&qid=1439035242&sr=1-3&keywords=noah+lukeman

U.S.A. - http://www.amazon.com/How-Land-Keep...8&qid=1439035264&sr=8-3&keywords=noah+lukeman
 
Thank you for sharing.

There are quite a few useful links in this, and it's worth it for those alone. (See 24 Free Resources for Researching Agents.)

In fact, when I say "those alone", I mean it. After spending the last hour with this book, it's very clear just how clever the author thinks he is.
"To compile a list of appropriate agents, thorough research is required. Not three hours’ worth, but three months’ worth."​
HahahahahHA - oh. Is that a lung?

Things to do before looking for an agent

Get a blog, build a website. Do a video. Establish a podcast. Serialise your novel. Enrol on a writing course. Enrol in an MFA writing program, visit good writers conferences. Apply to selective residential writers colonies. Apply for grants.

Jog on.

Now assemble your list of 50 agents (at least) and pitch to each one of them. Make sure they don't make it onto your list until you've done your homework on them, which in each case means:

1. Is he legitimate? Doe he charge a reading fee? (Sic)
2. Fiction or non-fiction?
3. Literary or commercial?
4. Historical or Contemporary
5. Practical or Narrative

Okay. These are obvious. I can do this. I think. But now it gets more interesting....

6. Hardcover or paperback? ( Like I care)
7. How many deals have they made in their career?
8. How many deals have they made recently?
9. What kind of publishers have they done deals with? (Because, obviously, the same publisher who did that crime novel for her is going to jump at the chance to publish my history of igloo building.)
10. What kind of advances has he negotiated? (As if anyone else's net worth has anything to do with me)
11. Do you recognize any of the other authors he represents? (i don't know? Many of my favourite writers are on really tiny labels. Yes, there are agencies out there with mega stars on their books, but what's that got to do with me? I'm not Dick Francis. I'm just a dick.)
12. Do you think you’d be a good match with his client list? (Oh, I don't know. I'm really desperate. Are his other clients desperate?)
13. How receptive is he to new clients? (Yeah. Because I'm going to find that out while I'm busy doing all this stalking rather than, y'know, actually finding out by approaching him)

Oh, hang on: "As a rule of thumb, beginning writers stand a much better chance of landing an agent if they target an agent who is just starting out, someone who has been an agent for three years". (So 7,8,9,10,11 and 12 are relevant how? Seriously? What is the point in putting all that effort into making sure you're about to be rejected by the right sort of industry king pin, if the true secret is to look for somebody who's so green she still has ladybird issues? )

This is exactly how The Establishment keeps hold of its power. Gate keepers who pretend to be providing a set of instructions which present themselves as easy how-to guides, but Really just coming up with yet another way to mystify and restrict access to the spoils which they themselves enjoy.

You want what I got? Sure? Here's my fifty eight point plan, son. Should only take you the next fifteen years. Suggest you stock up on body fat while you can though. Cram them cakes in real tight, because there'll be no time for eaten' once we get started.

Fair play to the guy. He's had more rejections than a pork pie merchant in Stamford Hill and kept going. But I don't want to be him. No matter what's waiting at the end of the rainbow, the juice isn't worth the squeeze if this is what he's done to get there.

Nearly every book I’ve ever sold has first been rejected by at least 20 or 30 publishers, sometimes as many as 50. Many of these books have gone on to become bestsellers. If I’d given up after 29 rejections, or even 49, these books would never have been published.

Seriously? I've just checked out his 'best sellers' online. Maybe he could have taken the hint.
 
6. Hardcover or paperback? ( Like I care)
7. How many deals have they made in their career?
8. How many deals have they made recently?
9. What kind of publishers have they done deals with? (Because, obviously, the same publisher who did that crime novel for her is going to jump at the chance to publish my history of igloo building.)
10. What kind of advances has he negotiated? (As if anyone else's net worth has anything to do with me)
11. Do you recognize any of the other authors he represents? (i don't know? Many of my favourite writers are on really tiny labels. Yes, there are agencies out there with mega stars on their books, but what's that got to do with me? I'm not Dick Francis. I'm just a dick.)
12. Do you think you’d be a good match with his client list? (Oh, I don't know. I'm really desperate. Are his other clients desperate?)
13. How receptive is he to new clients?

I agree on most of these, but some of those questions are good things to look at. #6, you're right. Who cares? #7 & 8 I think could be relevant. It shows you how active they are in the market. If they haven't sold anything in 3 years, that may be something worth further researching. #9, maybe worth considering but probably not that big of a deal. #10 could give you an indication of what kind of advance they're willing to give you. If he's never given anything over $3000, may be a consideration. #12 I doubt is useful, but #13 probably should be reworded to: is he taking on new clients. If he's not, then you can have the best query in the world with the next best selling book, but they won't take you because you're a new client. And frankly I'd put that at the very top. No need to do this other research if he's not taking new clients. Those are my opinions anyway.
 
How do you know how much an advance agents can procure for their clients? That surely depends on each proposal.

I have procured between £5k to £21k sponsorship proposals. Each individually tailored to the project. Granted it's a little different for agents but similar template, I imagine. Yet no one can know this unless I reveal it. D'oh!
 
Fair play to the guy. He's had more rejections than a pork pie merchant in Stamford Hill and kept going. But I don't want to be him. No matter what's waiting at the end of the rainbow, the juice isn't worth the squeeze if this is what he's done to get there.

Nearly every book I’ve ever sold has first been rejected by at least 20 or 30 publishers, sometimes as many as 50. Many of these books have gone on to become bestsellers. If I’d given up after 29 rejections, or even 49, these books would never have been published.

Seriously? I've just checked out his 'best sellers' online. Maybe he could have taken the hint.

But he is an agent not an author. Although he has authored a few books however he is advising from the perspective of agenting experience. So from reading this freebie I am guessing the suggestions listed are just that....suggestions. If you are already doing a couple then you're ahead already. Not for a minute did I interpret it to mean to do all on the list. Having said that if I was in cynical mode I'd probably have felt the same. :p
 
But he is an agent not an author. Although he has authored a few books however he is advising from the perspective of agenting experience. So from reading this freebie I am guessing the suggestions listed are just that....suggestions. If you are already doing a couple then you're ahead already. Not for a minute did I interpret it to mean to do all on the list. Having said that if I was in cynical mode I'd probably have felt the same. :p

I can't believe your going to let, logic, fairness and sense get in the way of a good rant. Using facts is cheating.
 
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Strunk & White - The Elements of Style - free ebook.

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