Using all of the senses in your writing.

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Paul Whybrow

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Jun 20, 2015
Cornwall, UK
By coincidence I came across this article, which offers some useful advice (albeit slightly tongue in cheek) about the silly mistakes that writers make with their early stories:

http://writerunboxed.com/2015/10/17/the-dumbest-mistakes-new-authors-make/

I say by coincidence, as the article's author Bill Ferris mentions using all of the senses. I was faced with writing a scene in my new novel last night, which is set at a garage fire where the owner has apparently died through carelessly smoking around a leaking welding gas cylinder. This incident is actually a crime committed by the psychopath retired detective who appears in my second novel. This was written in 2014, and I touted it around agents and publishers for seven months this year, before seeing the light that it was double the length that publishing convention dictates a first novel by an unknown author should be.

Describing the scene of the burned down car workshop, I knew that it needed some extra punch apart from saying how the dead owner's legs looked like large sticks of charcoal. I recalled an incident from my days as a housing officer for a council, when I was a callow twenty-something. I thought that I knew it all, but I plainly didn't. I accompanied a senior housing inspector to check a flat where there'd been a fire, which killed the elderly tenant. He had to sign off on the repair work needed, and as we looked around I was puzzled by the strange black strips hanging from the ceiling beneath the seat of the fire, as well as the acrid smell. I was informed that both were what was left of the tenant, with remnants of flesh flying upwards, adhering to wherever they touched and providing a background smell of burnt barbecue!

I managed not to throw up, but this experience at least came in useful forty years later to describe something that most people don't think about. Our sense of smell is one of the most evocative for making a memory, and my fictional scene of death was enhanced by adding a few details about the scent in the air, as well as the repellent taste in the back of the mouth of the detectives.

I'm going back through my work in progress, to see if descriptions can be improved by adding how the protagonists sense things.

FOOTNOTE: That burnt-out flat took a couple of months to renovate, needing a complete replastering, not just to repair the damage, but to remove the smell of burning. It took even longer to rent out again, as no local people on the housing waiting list wanted to live in a place where an old lady had burned to death. It was eventually rented to a couple who moved to the area from hundreds of miles away.
 
This article has some really great tips. Thanks for posting. :)

And yes, using all the senses when in a character's head is part of Writing 101. Do this. As much as possible without it being overload. ;) You want your readers right there with that character. This is what makes them memorable and real characters, and what keeps your readers turning the pages.
 
I always find that sense of smell suddenly adds a dimension of very real to the story. You can see the smoke rolling over the corpses of mutilated men and horses — but the soupy smell of blood and raw meat, the choking smell of the smoke, the gritty feel of it in the air like a solid thing, and the low, rolling chorus of groans and pitiful mewling of the dying... takes you to a whole different place.
 
I particularly liked this from the article:
"Your relationship with your book is like the bond between an island village and its angry volcano god. You’ll sacrifice time, energy, friendships, and marriages to keep your book happy, knowing all the while it will ultimately destroy you anyway. If you don’t hate yourself by the time you finish your book, you’re doing it wrong. Now get back to work!"

Excepting Nicole who married a fellow writer, this is a truth universally acknowledged.
 
I particularly liked this from the article:
"Your relationship with your book is like the bond between an island village and its angry volcano god. You’ll sacrifice time, energy, friendships, and marriages to keep your book happy, knowing all the while it will ultimately destroy you anyway. If you don’t hate yourself by the time you finish your book, you’re doing it wrong. Now get back to work!"

Excepting Nicole who married a fellow writer, this is a truth universally acknowledged.
Gotta be honest, it's pretty sweet. He gets it. Those days when he comes home and I'm just like "give me one more chapter" and he putters along bc he does the same thing. It's great.
 
Gotta be honest, it's pretty sweet. He gets it. Those days when he comes home and I'm just like "give me one more chapter" and he putters along bc he does the same thing. It's great.

And in my house... there is to be nothing in any way writing-related done whatsoever during any "together time," (any time we're both home). I was between jobs for a couple months and could write to my heart's content, but when my wife walked in that door that shit had better have been closed be the time the door was closed. So I'd better get my writing, beta-reading, Tweeting about writing, and forum time in while I'm at work.

But as a result, we can spend every second together, doing things together, when not at work. Sometimes that's a gift; sometimes it's a sacrifice.
 
And in my house... there is to be nothing in any way writing-related done whatsoever during any "together time," (any time we're both home). I was between jobs for a couple months and could write to my heart's content, but when my wife walked in that door that shit had better have been closed be the time the door was closed. So I'd better get my writing, beta-reading, Tweeting about writing, and forum time in while I'm at work.

But as a result, we can spend every second together, doing things together, when not at work. Sometimes that's a gift; sometimes it's a sacrifice.
We have a date night that's specifically for that, too. One night a week, there's no working, no writing, etc. We have dinner and either watch TV, go to a movie, read a book, or play a game (video or board).
 
We have a date night that's specifically for that, too. One night a week, there's no working, no writing, etc. We have dinner and either watch TV, go to a movie, read a book, or play a game (video or board).
That's nice to have. We're kicking around the idea of monk time, where we keep the TV and smart devices off, don't talk, and just read or enjoy the quiet. Be all Zen and stuff.
 
That's nice to have. We're kicking around the idea of monk time, where we keep the TV and smart devices off, don't talk, and just read or enjoy the quiet. Be all Zen and stuff.
We haven't done one in a while, but we called them "dark days." No electronics except for the car, but no radio. Great concept, hard to implement. I had to alert my mother each time so she didn't think I'd died when I didn't return her calls/texts.
 
We haven't done one in a while, but we called them "dark days." No electronics except for the car, but no radio. Great concept, hard to implement. I had to alert my mother each time so she didn't think I'd died when I didn't return her calls/texts.
Hahahaha, oh yeah...

Details...
 
LOL. I can tell neither of you have kids.....

Two cats and the puppy I'm getting my wife for Christmas are all the kids I need right now. As little writing as I get done at home NOW...I can't imagine what a baby does to productive time...

To the general topic of the post: Senses are still something that I'm wrapping my head around. Sound is a big one I use. There are lots of sounds in the world and my characters listen to them or try to hear them through background noise. I've always loved sound as a medium, but that's probably because I compose music occasionally.

Off topic, weather is something that I think is important too. I've found in most books/movies/games, that adding a little variation to the weather can go a long way in adding additional nuance to a scene.
 
Senses are still something that I'm wrapping my head around. Sound is a big one I use. There are lots of sounds in the world and my characters listen to them or try to hear them through background noise. I've always loved sound as a medium, but that's probably because I compose music occasionally.

Off topic, weather is something that I think is important too. I've found in most books/movies/games, that adding a little variation to the weather can go a long way in adding additional nuance to a scene.
I think sound is something I overuse, to be honest. People are always roaring, screaming, shouting, grunting, along side crashes, booms, clatters...

Weather is another good one, so long as you don't fall into tropes like a dark and stormy night. One thing I've found is that you should keep a notebook, and when you see a vista that strikes you, write down the weather! Describe the clouds you see driving to work, or the colors of the sunrise, or the way the fog moves, so you can use them all later.

One benefit of being in traffic three hours a day — you see a lot of weather.
 
I think sound is something I overuse, to be honest. People are always roaring, screaming, shouting, grunting, along side crashes, booms, clatters...

Weather is another good one, so long as you don't fall into tropes like a dark and stormy night. One thing I've found is that you should keep a notebook, and when you see a vista that strikes you, write down the weather! Describe the clouds you see driving to work, or the colors of the sunrise, or the way the fog moves, so you can use them all later.

One benefit of being in traffic three hours a day — you see a lot of weather.

I've used storms a few times, though not in a dark and stormy night kinda way. Most of the passage to time in my first book relies on being able to count the days with sunrises and sunsets, so I stick to mostly clear skies, partly cloudy with 0-10% chance of rain. In my later books, I start to utilize rain storms and, in one specific instance, snow.

Sound is something I kind of overuse as well. In many places, however, I have characters sneaking about, so the need to be quiet is paramount. At these points, I have them listening intently to their surroundings, straining their hearing to pick out the slightest sound against the backdrop of wherever they are. I try not to overuse it, but the feeling of listening to silence can be overpowering if imagined vividly enough...
 
I've used storms a few times, though not in a dark and stormy night kinda way. Most of the passage to time in my first book relies on being able to count the days with sunrises and sunsets, so I stick to mostly clear skies, partly cloudy with 0-10% chance of rain. In my later books, I start to utilize rain storms and, in one specific instance, snow.

Sound is something I kind of overuse as well. In many places, however, I have characters sneaking about, so the need to be quiet is paramount. At these points, I have them listening intently to their surroundings, straining their hearing to pick out the slightest sound against the backdrop of wherever they are. I try not to overuse it, but the feeling of listening to silence can be overpowering if imagined vividly enough...
I look forward to seeing your work in the Houses. This sounds intriguing...
 
Mine are Anastacia (top) and Bagheera (bottom)! (Yes...I keep a picture of my cats on hand...DON'T JUDGE ME!)
Bagheera as in named after the Jungle Book?? Cute!
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I too keep pics of my cats on hand. In fact I took one last night because they both curled up on my legs at the same time (that never happens). Oreo on the left, Cookie on the right.
 
Mine are Anastacia (top) and Bagheera (bottom)! (Yes...I keep a picture of my cats on hand...DON'T JUDGE ME!)
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Bagheera as in named after the Jungle Book?? Cute!
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I too keep pics of my cats on hand. In fact I took one last night because they both curled up on my legs at the same time (that never happens). Oreo on the left, Cookie on the right.
AWWW...

ah...HEMIzzyandToby!
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Toby has gotten bigger since you last put up a pic! And he's SO DARN CUTE!! Izzy looks cute, too, but she (he?) Just looks so done.
Izzy is always done. It's pretty dramatic.

Holy crap — Toby's gone from like one pound to eight. He's pretty awesome and likes to chew on cardboard and window hangings and thumbs.

Both were shes that turned out to actually be hes.
 
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