- Feb 3, 2024
- LitBits
- 0
New blog post by Vagabond Heart – discussions in this thread, please
---
We all remember those drawn out days of the first Covid lockdown, right? I don’t know how you coped, but while other people were learning new languages and putting out their trash dressed as Ru Paul, I decided to do something quite useless. I would read the Complete Works of Shakespeare. Oh yes.
Armed with my trusty bookmarks, James T. Kirk, and Mr Spock, I opened the massive tome that had sat accusingly on my bookshelf for over ten years. And started with this: –
1. Henry VI part 1
It turned out to be mostly stupid men arguing. Sometimes with weapons, sometimes not. But, either way, there was lots of male posturing, and the Kirk looked embarrassed as we read it.
Joan of Arc was clearly the only one with any balls (no surprise there). And Henry kinda nailed it when he said, “Good Lord, what madness rules in brain-sick men”.
I’m with you there, Hal, I thought.
I sat back and considered how to mark it? I couldn’t, in all conscience, make myself go higher than 3/10.
And then it was on to the next one.
2. Henry VI part 2
This threw me a bit, until I realised it was probably best described as medieval Eastenders (a UK TV soap that is very London). Most face-to-face meetings were some variation on, “come on then, if you think yer ‘ard enough”.
Everything else was people plotting to murder other people behind their backs, without the help of the speed trap that is Albert Square (main source of death in Eastenders).
On the up side, two pubs were mentioned by name (although not the Queen Vic). And it contained this line, which almost gained it another point – “his breath stinks with eating toasted cheese”. Another poetic cracker from our Will.
Still, only 2/10.
3. Henry VI part 3
Can’t say I was thrilled at the prospect of another Henry. They hadn’t exactly been delivering the goods up to now. But I’d only just started, so the enthusiasm was still high.
I found the whole story was this: everyone wants to be King. Everyone. Fuck knows why cos it’s a shitty job. Just paint a target on your back, it’d be less painful.
Although the Kirk was about ready to kill him, Henry came across as quite a decent, peaceable chap. It seemed unfortunate that he’d born right in the middle of the Wars of the Roses. Tough break, Hal.
Talking of unfortunate, there’s a character in the play called Lady Bona! I can’t even!
2/10
Then I moved on to one of the big-hitters.
4. Richard III. Oh yes.
For starters, this man wasn’t just having a winter of discontent: he’d clearly had a miserable spring, an infuriating summer, and an incandescent-rage-inducing autumn.
And this dude had issues. From the moment he slithered onto the stage like the child-catcher, in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, he announced his evil intentions. And these were somewhat mental, gotta say.
His rationale went like this: Mother Nature made me plug ugly, ergo what I really need to do is kill all my living relatives. Sorry, what?
It occurred to me that this may have been Shakespeare’s first bash at a pantomime, because there were plenty of Boo Hiss moments as Dickie boy told the audience what dastardly deed he’d do next.
There are untold cries of, “off with his head”, and even one, “he’s behind you!”
Plus, two characters simply called First Murderer and Second Murderer. I rest my case.
In other news, James Blunt made an appearance, which was a bit random.
And my favourite bit was discovering there is actually a time in the evening called cock-shut time. I know many of you will want to remember that.
Overall, 5/10, mainly for Queen Margaret’s cursing.
I felt this was a good start. I began to feel somewhat smug. I can do this, I thought. But then I encountered play no.5, and it all went a bit tits up. I’ll tell you about that next time.
---
Get the discussion going – post your thoughts & comments in the thread below…
For more posts by Vagabond Heart click here WTF, Will! parts 1 – 4 – Litopia
---
We all remember those drawn out days of the first Covid lockdown, right? I don’t know how you coped, but while other people were learning new languages and putting out their trash dressed as Ru Paul, I decided to do something quite useless. I would read the Complete Works of Shakespeare. Oh yes.
Armed with my trusty bookmarks, James T. Kirk, and Mr Spock, I opened the massive tome that had sat accusingly on my bookshelf for over ten years. And started with this: –
1. Henry VI part 1
It turned out to be mostly stupid men arguing. Sometimes with weapons, sometimes not. But, either way, there was lots of male posturing, and the Kirk looked embarrassed as we read it.
Joan of Arc was clearly the only one with any balls (no surprise there). And Henry kinda nailed it when he said, “Good Lord, what madness rules in brain-sick men”.
I’m with you there, Hal, I thought.
I sat back and considered how to mark it? I couldn’t, in all conscience, make myself go higher than 3/10.
And then it was on to the next one.
2. Henry VI part 2
This threw me a bit, until I realised it was probably best described as medieval Eastenders (a UK TV soap that is very London). Most face-to-face meetings were some variation on, “come on then, if you think yer ‘ard enough”.
Everything else was people plotting to murder other people behind their backs, without the help of the speed trap that is Albert Square (main source of death in Eastenders).
On the up side, two pubs were mentioned by name (although not the Queen Vic). And it contained this line, which almost gained it another point – “his breath stinks with eating toasted cheese”. Another poetic cracker from our Will.
Still, only 2/10.
3. Henry VI part 3
Can’t say I was thrilled at the prospect of another Henry. They hadn’t exactly been delivering the goods up to now. But I’d only just started, so the enthusiasm was still high.
I found the whole story was this: everyone wants to be King. Everyone. Fuck knows why cos it’s a shitty job. Just paint a target on your back, it’d be less painful.
Although the Kirk was about ready to kill him, Henry came across as quite a decent, peaceable chap. It seemed unfortunate that he’d born right in the middle of the Wars of the Roses. Tough break, Hal.
Talking of unfortunate, there’s a character in the play called Lady Bona! I can’t even!
2/10
Then I moved on to one of the big-hitters.
4. Richard III. Oh yes.
For starters, this man wasn’t just having a winter of discontent: he’d clearly had a miserable spring, an infuriating summer, and an incandescent-rage-inducing autumn.
And this dude had issues. From the moment he slithered onto the stage like the child-catcher, in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, he announced his evil intentions. And these were somewhat mental, gotta say.
His rationale went like this: Mother Nature made me plug ugly, ergo what I really need to do is kill all my living relatives. Sorry, what?
It occurred to me that this may have been Shakespeare’s first bash at a pantomime, because there were plenty of Boo Hiss moments as Dickie boy told the audience what dastardly deed he’d do next.
There are untold cries of, “off with his head”, and even one, “he’s behind you!”
Plus, two characters simply called First Murderer and Second Murderer. I rest my case.
In other news, James Blunt made an appearance, which was a bit random.
And my favourite bit was discovering there is actually a time in the evening called cock-shut time. I know many of you will want to remember that.
Overall, 5/10, mainly for Queen Margaret’s cursing.
I felt this was a good start. I began to feel somewhat smug. I can do this, I thought. But then I encountered play no.5, and it all went a bit tits up. I’ll tell you about that next time.
---
Get the discussion going – post your thoughts & comments in the thread below…
For more posts by Vagabond Heart click here WTF, Will! parts 1 – 4 – Litopia
