Query letter revision

[Karen J]

Feel like I've lost my creative mojo after a potential agent said she loved the voicey-ness of my query! & loved the age-gap romance premise! & what a great plot! (her words & exclamation marks) Even applauded the 1st 3 chapters. Then rejected it.

I'd made a new query just for her & now it feels like I'd be cursed if I use it again. So I wrote out 2 others with similar points but 1 brain half is whispering 'why bother?' I mean finally finding a potential who loves so much of a story but rejects it too is so disheartening. Especially when reading all the MSWL's that talk about how 'For the right story, the one that speaks to me, I'll do everything to get in it print'.

I thought the one to her was spot on. I think these 2 new ones are spot on. But what if I'm deluding myself?

 

[Vagabond Heart]

Hi Karen,
Rejections are horrible, and having to try and second-guess yourself over your query is just as disheartening.
But there could be a million reasons why something that seemed to fit so perfectly falls at the last hurdle.
It could be financial, it could be a numbers game, it could be however passionate she was about it, the timing was still wrong. It might be nothing whatsoever to do with you, the quality of your book, or the perfection of your letter.
But if you want fresh eyes on it, pop it in the Laboratory and see what other Litopians think. And perhaps see if they know of other publishers or agents for whom your work would be a good fit?
Now, go and eat some biscuits until you feel better. Xxx

 

[Pamela Jo]

I have a recipe for orange-parsnip scones. Far healthier than biscuits.

Now imagine you take those lovely, sweet and healthy scones to the local market day and lay them out in an autumnal display of oak leaves and a blue tartan rug. One look and you think of a crisp October picnic with a lover.

You hook a passing punter who picks up a plate of delicately browned scones, searches in her coat pocket for coins then with a reluctant shrug of apology she walks away. If you could read her mind you might hear things like, "I must stick to the budget. I made a pact for no impulse buys-no matter how good" "I'm almost out of petrol. With that 3 pound I can put in 10 pounds and that will get me thru to the end of the week." "They look so gorgeous and they'd probably taste even better-but there goes my weight watchers meeting."

Agents are readers. Your query may be just what they'd love to curl up with. They also are salespeople. Nothing more. Nothing less. Whatever they sign they are risking their own money on. They've cultivated a market and providing books for that market is how they pay for their kids school books and lunches. Horserace touts are probably a better comparison than market sellers. So what I see is an agent who would love to read your book-but doesnt have a place to sell it.

Instead of being discouraged you should feel that solid , "YES", when you get something right. That response tells you you hit the right note, you have a good concept, and you are very, very close to getting an agent.

That voice in your head has been there since you were little. We all have it. It's there to keep you from getting hurt. But if you want an agent you tell it, "It's ok. I'm strong enough to take as many noes as it requires to find an agent. I just got a WHOLE lotta yes, and a tiny bit of no."

 

[James Charles]

Feel like I've lost my creative mojo after a potential agent said she loved the voicey-ness of my query! & loved the age-gap romance premise! & what a great plot! (her words & exclamation marks) Even applauded the 1st 3 chapters. Then rejected it.

I'd made a new query just for her & now it feels like I'd be cursed if I use it again. So I wrote out 2 others with similar points but 1 brain half is whispering 'why bother?' I mean finally finding a potential who loves so much of a story but rejects it too is so disheartening. Especially when reading all the MSWL's that talk about how 'For the right story, the one that speaks to me, I'll do everything to get in it print'.

I thought the one to her was spot on. I think these 2 new ones are spot on. But what if I'm deluding myself?

I get it, Karen. I've had the same rejections: "Love the concept and your opening; it hooked me... but not right for my list..." even though they represent historical fiction? URGH!!!!

 

[Karen J]

Hi Karen,
Rejections are horrible, and having to try and second-guess yourself over your query is just as disheartening.
But there could be a million reasons why something that seemed to fit so perfectly falls at the last hurdle.
It could be financial, it could be a numbers game, it could be however passionate she was about it, the timing was still wrong. It might be nothing whatsoever to do with you, the quality of your book, or the perfection of your letter.
But if you want fresh eyes on it, pop it in the Laboratory and see what other Litopians think. And perhaps see if they know of other publishers or agents for whom your work would be a good fit?
Now, go and eat some biscuits until you feel better. Xxx

Thank you but unfortunately I don't know anything about the Laboratory and trying to learn a new skill at the moment is beyond my brain capability.

I'll happily send them over to anyone who messages me though.

 

[Vagabond Heart]

Thank you but unfortunately I don't know anything about the Laboratory and trying to learn a new skill at the moment is beyond my brain capability.

I'll happily send them over to anyone who messages me though.

Oh I feel for you, I really do.

So, the Laboratory is in the Forums list. You'll see it there. It is where we post work when we need some help. We post opening chapters, blurbs, query letters, synopses, and requests for Beta readers. I found it a goldmine of information, because I've learnt easily as much by critiquing others' work as I have by having mine critiqued.

Why not just go along there and have a read of some of the things put up, and some of the feedback that has been given. In the end, we all fall into the same traps and make the same mistakes, so you might feel reassured by what you see there. xxx

 

[RK Wallis]

Feel like I've lost my creative mojo after a potential agent said she loved the voicey-ness of my query! & loved the age-gap romance premise! & what a great plot! (her words & exclamation marks) Even applauded the 1st 3 chapters. Then rejected it.

I'd made a new query just for her & now it feels like I'd be cursed if I use it again. So I wrote out 2 others with similar points but 1 brain half is whispering 'why bother?' I mean finally finding a potential who loves so much of a story but rejects it too is so disheartening. Especially when reading all the MSWL's that talk about how 'For the right story, the one that speaks to me, I'll do everything to get in it print'.

I thought the one to her was spot on. I think these 2 new ones are spot on. But what if I'm deluding myself?

Rejection cuts out a piece of our soul.

Why not change the narrative in your head? Flip your thoughts. Think "I'm so close"... because you are. You've got a lot further than many writers (congrats!). The way I've always guessed querying might work is - first you'll get bites from your query and you'll submit 3 chapters, when they meet agent circumstances, you'll get a full request, when the full meets agent circumstances, they'll take you on (but realistically, I know that's maybe the top 1% of people).

You're doing well. Be proud of what you've done and strive for better. Try the laboratory, not only for yourself but helping other writers too. You'll learn so much about your own writing