Opening Lines

[Kelly Michelle Baker]

@Jennifer Stone, I love the ominous rework. I'm scared for the citizens!

@Cyprian McHuhg, love the use of sound in the opening line. I read somewhere that an author should try to incorporate the (ostensibly) 5 senses in the first chapter of a novel. So that's one down!

@MontanaMan65 and @Meerkat, thanks!

 

[Kelly Michelle Baker]

@Meerkat, excellent opening line.

 

[Dan Henshaw]

Nice article. Having gotten a bit further with my story, I've gone back and rewritten my opening sentence.
It's probably been done before but I've gone for:

I was only 14 when I first stared down the barrel of a shotgun.

 

[Stephen Drake]

Nice article. Having gotten a bit further with my story, I've gone back and rewritten my opening sentence.
It's probably been done before but I've gone for:

I was only 14 when I first stared down the barrel of a shotgun.

Nice!

 

[Emurelda]

I got 250 pages into a novel last year. My first line was as follows.

"I never wanted to be a goddess."

The novel was about a former goddess now living on earth.

I have to say that this immediately took me to the Percy Jackson series. Was that intentional? Except he says "Look, I didn't want to be a half-blood." Which in turn reminded me of Harry Potter. lol!!

 

[Diamond]

Redmond knew the end of civilization was nigh when the mechanical wheel of fruit over Schlotz’s Grocery stopped tumbling out of the giant cornucopia.

 

[Meerkat]

I have to say that this immediately took me to the Percy Jackson series. Was that intentional? Except he says "Look, I didn't want to be a half-blood." Which in turn reminded me of Harry Potter. lol!!

No, it wasn't! I didn't know a similar line had been used.

 

[Marc Joan]

One of mine starts like this.

'In the Beginning, I was rich. And I saw that it was good.'

OK, two sentences, but they're short.

 

[Karen Gray]

"Grass. I like grass." That was from a flash fiction about a coo that escaped the abattoir lol

but I think one of my personal favourites is...

"Ok, either my waters have gone, or I have just wet myself."

 

[Writing Saint]

Nice article. Having gotten a bit further with my story, I've gone back and rewritten my opening sentence.
It's probably been done before but I've gone for:

I was only 14 when I first stared down the barrel of a shotgun.

I like that!

My first book's opening line was:
Blow after blow fell on the naked backs, each strike tearing flesh and smashing bone, until nothing remained of the men but butchered meat.

 

[Emurelda]

No, it wasn't! I didn't know a similar line had been used.

I think it's more of a blurb rather than in the actual beginning. But maybe starting with something familiar might work for you. As I mentioned...the halfblood mention reminded me of Harry Potter. So immediately I knew what it was referring to. Familiarity might not necessarily be seen as a copy.

 

[Kelly Michelle Baker]

So many great lines, everyone!

 

[Karen Gray]

Haha! book 4 opening : Fluid motion and infinite sight. An unstoppable whirlwind of brute strength, that’s what he was. Unstoppable. Slashing through the enemy as though they were spectres in the fog. Unstoppable. Cleaving a path to freedom for those who could no longer cut it themselves. Unstoppable… until he wasn’t.

 

[Diamond]

Awesome, Karen.

 

[Nicole Wilson]

@Dan Henshaw Love the first line!

The first line of my first book: Everyone in the room looked like a killer.
And of my second: The Grudge watched the flames erupt and smiled.

 

[Emurelda]

Nice article. Having gotten a bit further with my story, I've gone back and rewritten my opening sentence.
It's probably been done before but I've gone for:

I was only 14 when I first stared down the barrel of a shotgun.

Yes this would make me wonder 'which end'....i would read on.

 

[Jason Byrne]

Yes this would make me wonder 'which end'....i would read on.

Good point.

 

[Marc Joan]

Good point.

Groan...

 

[Alistair Roberts]

Well this has got me thinking, again. Latest novel opening first line, 'Truly, you need a change in life.'

 

[Jason Byrne]

Well this has got me thinking, again. Latest novel opening first line, 'Truly, you need a change in life.'

Good, but I would bet the response to this bit of dialogue will be the real hook.

 

[Alistair Roberts]

Well it's still the first draft and the novel isn't yet finished, but here's the rest >

'Truly, you need a change in life. The mundane life is not of your calling Ceridwen, and kicking that defenceless bucket will not solve the boredom that is afflicting you my love,' Ramsey said.

Although he had said it with affection, Ceridwen whose dark hair fell over her shoulders, didn't take it that way.

'I didn't kick it, well not on purpose. The silly thing was in the way and I have already finished washing the clothes. They will not do themselves,' she replied, clearly annoyed.

 

[Nicole Wilson]

@Alistair Roberts I'm curious: what genre is that novel?

 

[Jason Byrne]

I see... I like it. It reads like a theater piece.

 

[Alistair Roberts]

@Alistair Roberts I'm curious: what genre is that novel?

Well Fantasy, although it's part mystery, almost historical fiction, so it really is a mixture. Then add the dragon

 

[Nicole Wilson]

Well Fantasy, although it's part mystery, almost historical fiction, so it really is a mixture. Then add the dragon

Well, it's just a little for everyone! I like the opening lines. It makes me wonder who Ceridwen is and if she's always had this mundane life. And if it's fantasy/suspense, it also makes me wonder if Ramsey knows something about her that she doesn't.

 

[Alistair Roberts]

Short answer Nicole, no. Anything but mundane.

 

[Emurelda]

Well it's still the first draft and the novel isn't yet finished, but here's the rest >

'Truly, you need a change in life. The mundane life is not of your calling Ceridwen, and kicking that defenceless bucket will not solve the boredom that is afflicting you my love,' Ramsey said.

Although he had said it with affection, Ceridwen whose dark hair fell over her shoulders, didn't take it that way.

'I didn't kick it, well not on purpose. The silly thing was in the way and I have already finished washing the clothes. They will not do themselves,' she replied, clearly annoyed.

I could do with a bucket right now... feeling like I can relate to her already.

 

[Alistair Roberts]

I think a piece of me was written into her emotions on that occasion... wouldn't be the first time!

 

[Jason Byrne]

I think a piece of me was written into her emotions on that occasion... wouldn't be the first time!

You can exorcise unexpected parts of yourself in a character, once in a while. I've seen something of myself in characters I'd rather not have, before.