elevator pitch opinions

Which would make you sit up and spill your coffee? (if any).

  • 1. Literary agent is blackmailed with a novel revealing he killed his father.

    Votes: 9 69.2%
  • 2. Emotionally inept man's heart is saved thanks to a blackmailer.

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • 3. Querying author is after an agent's heart. Literally. She needs a transplant. He needs love.

    Votes: 2 15.4%
  • 4. Haunted by his sister. Blackmailed by his client. Love blossoms in the strangest of lives.

    Votes: 1 7.7%
  • 5. Don't think any of them work particularly well (a message to expand would be helpful if poss).

    Votes: 2 15.4%

  • Total voters
    13

Question: opinions needed, please.

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Number 1 is the simplest and a pitch has to be immediately clearly understood.
 
A literary agent takes on a client. What better way to stop her blackmailing him? Until he's forced to choose: his secret or his heart.
This is great, Hannah. It doesn't get into those pesky detail questions that can't be answered in a quick pitch. It also, very importantly, sets up a conflict and generates good dramatic questions like, what's she blackmailing him for? What secret? I think it also conveys the blend of genres well, too. Comedy, thriller, and romance.

I was going to suggest trying to generate some hooky questions in the pitch, and hint at the main conflict, which is not easy to do, and Hannah's gone and done it! Well done Hannah!
 
This is great, Hannah. It doesn't get into those pesky detail questions that can't be answered in a quick pitch. It also, very importantly, sets up a conflict and generates good dramatic questions like, what's she blackmailing him for? What secret? I think it also conveys the blend of genres well, too. Comedy, thriller, and romance.

I was going to suggest trying to generate some hooky questions in the pitch, and hint at the main conflict, which is not easy to do, and Hannah's gone and done it! Well done Hannah!
Exactly my thoughts Lyse. We may have to start hiring Hannah to write our pitches.
 
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Question: opinions needed, please.

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