Help! Character development problem

Paul Whybrow

Rejection and the Writer

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Meerkat

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I'm struggling with a character development point for the novel I'm planning and wondered what you guys thought.

The background for the novel is that it's about a girl searching for a place where she belongs. At 14, she thinks she finds somewhat of a home, at least spiritually, but this is rather violently put down by her father.

The problem I am having is that after that, while she is still a teenager, I cannot decide whether she will be "rebellious" or drink the Kool-Aid for a while, at least until she leaves home.

I think the trope in fiction is that the MC is supposed to be rebellious, breaking the rules and doing things his or her own way. It's a bit of the Mary Sue mentality. Personally, I have an issue with breaking the rules just to show how much you don't care about them. I myself am generally considered a rule-breaker, but I've never done ANYTHING just to rebel. I've always had a deep personal reason for going my own way.

So I simply don't want to create a character who rebels just to rebel. And the reason I want her to drink the Kool-Aid for a few years is because she DOES want to belong somewhere. When you're a teenager, you definitely want to belong somewhere, and this character, I think, desperately wants to belong to her family. (Her background is that she was an accident--her parents didn't want her--and they have never been shy about telling her this.) So, in my thinking, after she "displeases" her father so much, she would WANT to show him she's not the awful bane he thinks she is. Kind of, "Look, I can be a good daughter--will you love and accept me now?"

I don't actually plan to spend much time on her teen years after the incident at 14.

As an adult, yes, she will learn to go her own way again, but is all of this (her drinking the Kool-Aid) believable and relatable? Does it make her too passive?
 
If she is really intelligent, she might well arrive at a strategy of her own that is not rebellious, nor passive either, but somehow makes her situation tenable. This, a road less well travelled in story telling, might make her a more fascinating character.
 
Meerkat said:
I'm struggling with a character development point for the novel I'm planning and wondered what you guys thought.

The background for the novel is that it's about a girl searching for a place where she belongs. At 14, she thinks she finds somewhat of a home, at least spiritually, but this is rather violently put down by her father.

The problem I am having is that after that, while she is still a teenager, I cannot decide whether she will be "rebellious" or drink the Kool-Aid for a while, at least until she leaves home.

I think the trope in fiction is that the MC is supposed to be rebellious, breaking the rules and doing things his or her own way. It's a bit of the Mary Sue mentality. Personally, I have an issue with breaking the rules just to show how much you don't care about them. I myself am generally considered a rule-breaker, but I've never done ANYTHING just to rebel. I've always had a deep personal reason for going my own way.

So I simply don't want to create a character who rebels just to rebel. And the reason I want her to drink the Kool-Aid for a few years is because she DOES want to belong somewhere. When you're a teenager, you definitely want to belong somewhere, and this character, I think, desperately wants to belong to her family. (Her background is that she was an accident--her parents didn't want her--and they have never been shy about telling her this.) So, in my thinking, after she "displeases" her father so much, she would WANT to show him she's not the awful bane he thinks she is. Kind of, "Look, I can be a good daughter--will you love and accept me now?"

I don't actually plan to spend much time on her teen years after the incident at 14.

As an adult, yes, she will learn to go her own way again, but is all of this (her drinking the Kool-Aid) believable and relatable? Does it make her too passive?
Click to expand...

Drinking the "Kool-Aid" didn't help me when I was a teen. Of the above, this line "(Her background is that she was an accident--her parents didn't want her--and they have never been shy about telling her this.)" hit way too close to home.

If true, there is nothing she can do to gain acceptance. She shouldn't break the societal rules, but also not capitulate to arbitrary family rules completely either. Sometimes, as a teen, a passive resistance will get you further (I've been there!).

Somewhere you'd need to answer the question for you, the author, "What would it take for her father to accept her?" There are cases that the answer is "nothing". Then test your character to see if she's willing to do that. Getting to the fact that there is nothing she can do to gain acceptance is a tough thing to deal with and can lead to years of self-loathing (Families are supposed to accept you, but if they don't, how can you expect anyone else to accept you).

Just my 2 cents.
 
If true, there is nothing she can do to gain acceptance. She shouldn't break the societal rules, but also not capitulate to arbitrary family rules completely either. Sometimes, as a teen, a passive resistance will get you further (I've been there!).

That's really sad, @MontanaMan65 but also, I think, a really wise observation of yours in general. The family one is born into is largely a matter of luck. If a family doesn't accept you, it might reflect on them more than it reflects on you, in which case, there is no reason you will not be accepted by anyone else, but you will be bashing your head against a wall, looking to them for support.
If parents are pigs, then pigs they are and shall remain. I have seen what happens when grown up children cannot recognise that, and free themselves by accepting it, realizing it is no reflection on their own worth.

@Meerkat What your character, the youngster is faced with, is a management challenge. The time may come when your character can just say what she thinks of them and walk away. Meanwhile, if she is a very wise, observant child, she might decide rebellion is not management, or at least, OVERT rebellion is not. She might find a unique way to rebel, that only brings her credit, and that her parents can't object to, without putting themselves in the wrong.

Elizabeth 1 nearly had her head cut off while still a princess.....by family. Her WITS saved her.
 
I think you need to get to know this character a bit better because you are over-thinking her. There are a couple of ways to do this.
One is to put your character in the hot seat. Try your hand at a bit of role play. In other words pretend to actually be your character and get a couple of other people to ask you questions. Answer them as her and you'll find out all sorts of interesting stuff - her mannerisms, deepest fears, weird obsessions etc.
Another thing to try is to put her in some really unusual situations and see how she reacts. By letting her have her head you'll suddenly find you know her a whole lot better and when you sit down and put her into your story all the things you're worrying about will fall into place.
Let her have her head - she might surprise you! :)
 
One of my passive rebellion strategies was reading. I was reading Shakespeare, in the original old English, and my father thought it was a waste of time, if it wasn't required for school, which it wasn't. That's just one example.

Nonacceptance within the immediate family is one thing, but to get it expanded to all family is something all-together different and more hurtful. There comes a time when everyone has to decide who they are. For me, it came earlier than later and it had the effect of me isolating myself (when you only have people around that don't accept you, what other alternative is there?). Right, wrong, or indifferent, I was going to be myself no matter what. I treated my parents with respect, but refused to knuckle under to their expectations (especially when I was supposed to be my uncle). That is not to say that I didn't want their acceptance. I spent a lot of years trying to earn it and only achieving it in a minor way and many years later.
 
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You might try writing some scenes with her that aren't related to her family (and that may never be in the book, either--just an exercise in getting to know her). How does she deal with other things in life? How does she interact with her friends? How does she accept criticism? How does she react to new information, change, and challenge? If you can "see" her addressing things in other aspects of her life, you can maybe get a better handle on her overall personality and how she would address the problems with her family.
 
I think she'd need some kind of valve to release the pressure whether rebellious or not. For me, the rebellious teenager thing has the potential to be a little hackneyed [but not always or inevitably so], & it might be more interesting for the MC to be a quiet type with a secret way of coping, something that makes them more interesting...
 
yers..a great obsession with a little thing that somehow works its way up into a critical part of the story..

to see a world in a grain of sand, and heaven in a wild flower,
hold infinity in the palm of your hand, and eternity in an hour
 
Well, kinda from real life, she could become withdrawn, but also plan and save her money to make a BIG move, and at age 18 or 21, move to another country? Dive in the deep end as it were. Plenty of other good ideas above ;)
 
Biding her time is a good idea, imo. You could have her delve inside herself, becoming introverted and escaping into a fantasy world of imagination. Use the introspection to explore her character, dreaming of a world in which she is universally accepted and loved by all, where she is strong and decisive. Hey, it's what I did as a teen.
 
Meerkat said:
I'm struggling with a character development point for the novel I'm planning and wondered what you guys thought.

The background for the novel is that it's about a girl searching for a place where she belongs. At 14, she thinks she finds somewhat of a home, at least spiritually, but this is rather violently put down by her father.

The problem I am having is that after that, while she is still a teenager, I cannot decide whether she will be "rebellious" or drink the Kool-Aid for a while, at least until she leaves home.
Click to expand...

Roll the dice. Let her meet a rebellious/criminal/wild boy of 18 or 19 yrs old and see what happens with a new perspective. He dies or fights with her father or she sees her father in a new light...
 
Meerkat said:
I'm struggling with a character development point for the novel I'm planning and wondered what you guys thought.

The background for the novel is that it's about a girl searching for a place where she belongs. At 14, she thinks she finds somewhat of a home, at least spiritually, but this is rather violently put down by her father.

The problem I am having is that after that, while she is still a teenager, I cannot decide whether she will be "rebellious" or drink the Kool-Aid for a while, at least until she leaves home.

I think the trope in fiction is that the MC is supposed to be rebellious, breaking the rules and doing things his or her own way. It's a bit of the Mary Sue mentality. Personally, I have an issue with breaking the rules just to show how much you don't care about them. I myself am generally considered a rule-breaker, but I've never done ANYTHING just to rebel. I've always had a deep personal reason for going my own way.

So I simply don't want to create a character who rebels just to rebel. And the reason I want her to drink the Kool-Aid for a few years is because she DOES want to belong somewhere. When you're a teenager, you definitely want to belong somewhere, and this character, I think, desperately wants to belong to her family. (Her background is that she was an accident--her parents didn't want her--and they have never been shy about telling her this.) So, in my thinking, after she "displeases" her father so much, she would WANT to show him she's not the awful bane he thinks she is. Kind of, "Look, I can be a good daughter--will you love and accept me now?"

I don't actually plan to spend much time on her teen years after the incident at 14.

As an adult, yes, she will learn to go her own way again, but is all of this (her drinking the Kool-Aid) believable and relatable? Does it make her too passive?
Click to expand...

Sounds like a perfectly reasonable, and rounded (i.e. messed up human) character to me. Towing the line is actually more realistic ... at least until the character can find an opportunity to "escape" (in whatever form that takes; actual, metaphorical, metaphysical). And many of us are passive aggressive ... remaining angry with past mistakes, or rather, choices.
 
Bernard Stacey said:
I've no idea what Kool-aid is (doubtless Jason will have a picture).
I thought rebel teenagers drank beer and pretended to like it.
Click to expand...
Kook-Aid is a nasty, sugary, artificially flavored drink that has been around since before I was a kid. The expression "drank the Kool-Aid" has come to mean someone gave in and conformed, be that in the workplace or in a different situation, like a teen deciding to follow their parents' rules for the time being.

And here's the pic ;)

kool aid.gif
 
I think that the expression derived from the Jonestown mass suicide in 1978, where 900 brainwashed members of a cult were coerced into drinking a soft drink laced with cyanide:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Drinking_the_Kool-Aid

The idea for doing this may have come to their leader Jim Jones from the drug experiments of Ken Kesey and his Merry Pranksters in the 1960s. They used LSD laced Kool-Aid to push at the doors of perception. Their adventures were detailed in Tom Wolfe's book The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Electric_Kool-Aid_Acid_Test


200px-KoolAid_1stUSEd_front.jpg
 
Paul Whybrow said:
I think that the expression derived from the Jonestown mass suicide in 1978, where 900 brainwashed members of a cult were coerced into drinking a soft drink laced with cyanide:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Drinking_the_Kool-Aid

The idea for doing this may have come to their leader Jim Jones from the drug experiments of Ken Kesey and his Merry Pranksters in the 1960s. They used LSD laced Kool-Aid to push at the doors of perception. Their adventures were detailed in Tom Wolfe's book The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Electric_Kool-Aid_Acid_Test


200px-KoolAid_1stUSEd_front.jpg
Click to expand...
Or in other words: "Let's get the Mong out of Mind"?
 
In the US, @Carol Rose , I've only heard it in the context of Jonestown. From my recollections, it has come to mean that a person who "drank the Kool-aide" has fallen in to a mindset "hook, line, and sinker". The person is "a true believer" (an unquestioning follower) and won't be deterred. This is usually associated with questionable beliefs. "Don't drink the Kool-aide" has meant that a person shouldn't become an unquestioning follower of a person or group (I could be wrong, though).
 
Your link is gone. *confused*

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=drink+the+kool-aid

Not saying I doubt where this started (and I'm not even sure if that's the assumption that has been made). Only saying where I hear it most commonly used now (and I'm also in the USA) is in the context of conformity. In other words, this quote from the link above:

"The phrase can also be used in the opposite sense to indicate that one has embraced a particular philosophy or perspective."

That could also be because I work in corporate America and we say it a lot in reference to our own jobs. LOL!! :)

That being said, I think Meerkat's original post makes sense, at least to me, in that she asks whether her teen character should conform - drink the Kook-Aid - for a while, or rebel. Hope this clears it all up. LOL!! AND I just realized I never answered Meerkat's question. :)

@Meerkat Your teen sounds believable and relatable to me, and no I don't think it makes her too passive. More of a smart girl in that she does what she has to do at the time, and waits until she can do what she really wants to. :)
 
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I agree with a lot of what's been said before, but I also think it can be more nuanced than you're making it. I don't think she has to either be a rebel, or "drink the kool-aid"; her behavior can vary by situation, company, or even mood (teens are quite the seething mass of hormones and neurochemicals). Perhaps she toes the line at home, where she tries to live up to an unrealistic mental image of the 'perfect daughter', but at school she eschews the traditional social structures and refuses to join a clique. Or perhaps she strives to impress a specific subset of her social acquaintances, but simply doesn't give a flip about others. There are at least three separate "authorities" acting on the typical teen -- peers, family, and authority figures -- and a teen can have very different methods of interacting with each.
 
Great ideas, all! I like the passive resistance idea, since, as Marc said, the "rebellious teenager" bit is so hackneyed.

My idea was for her to finally have a big blow-up with her parents just at the end of high school and leave home to make her own way. Possibly shaving her head. :)

Yes, "drink the Kool-Aid" refers to the Jonestown massacre. That is indeed what I meant by it.
 
Meerkat said:
Great ideas, all! I like the passive resistance idea, since, as Marc said, the "rebellious teenager" bit is so hackneyed.

My idea was for her to finally have a big blow-up with her parents just at the end of high school and leave home to make her own way. Possibly shaving her head. :)

Yes, "drink the Kool-Aid" refers to the Jonestown massacre. That is indeed what I meant by it.
Click to expand...

The idea for your mc sounds a lot like how I left home. Though I didn't shave my head until I got married three years ago, I did dye my hair black within a week of leaving. The bundle of hair my hubby is holding is mine btw! He'd just hacked my ponytail off with a cutthroat razor.
shaved.jpg
 
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Paul Whybrow

Rejection and the Writer

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