I've had the privilege to know some pretty great guys in my life (also, some pretty terrible ones, but that goes for women, too), and also I thought of myself as a boy until I was about twelve. Periods have a way of dashing all those childish dreams of just binding one's chest.
My advice: choose
anyone from literature or real life that you found endearing for some reason (girl or guy) and start with that as your skeleton. Build up from there.
Random side question: Does this character get a POV? that might influence how much research you'd need to do.
I just came to the realization that, other than Mika, Pedra, and Kilatra, all the other salient characters in my story are men. And Pedra barely counts (don't tell her I said this) because she's androgynous. My favorite character is a guy. It's a pity since he's going to die at the end of this book. *tear*
What do men struggle with? Basically, the same things as women minus the period. Although in different ways, society also places a heavy burden on them for how they should act with each other, toward women, toward the arts, toward warfare, toward conflict in general. Like women, they can allow themselves to cave under this burden, they can struggle with it daily, or they can cast it aside and be a bit of an eccentric entity.
I was close to someone for awhile who was deeply intrigued by philosophy. He loved to engage in long discussions over beer. Both my brothers love strategy; one of them spent hours each weekend playing chess with my father. The kid (not a kid anymore) I babysat for two years as a preteen has gone on to place first in high school wrestling nationally and third in chess nationally. Don't mind me over here, just puttering along on my little stories.
I guess I'm just tossing some thoughts around. I agree with
@Serra K . Spending some time with your male characters might make you more comfortable with them as deeper personalities. Perhaps also write scenes completely unrelated to the story. Maybe he's waiting in line at a coffee shop and sees the barista is having a bad day. What does he do? Maybe he's buying food at the store and the guy in front of him drops a fifty. What does he do? Learn a bit about him. Maybe your MC doesn't know all these things, but
you do.
Speaking as a guy, I can vouch that being male is anything but easy. We are expected to provide for our families and anyone else in need, i.e., homeless people we meet on the street, charities, or anyone who needs anything whatsoever. They are our responsibility, and we swear that we will die rather than not rescue them. We are expected to be wise and kind, no matter how idiotic and emotional our families, friends, and colleagues get. We are expected to be tireless. We must rise before dawn, work hard until midnight, and do it again the next day. We never get a day off.
Guys who spend their time watching sports on TV while drinking beer are losers. They are blowing off their responsibilities, and with those responsibilities, they are rejecting their heritage and their potential. Real guys want to help them become who they were born to be, but there is a lot of resistance. Beer or take out the garbage? Sports or take the kids to the beach? These are win/lose questions, and a lot of males flunk the test. Nevertheless, we real guys keep trying. That's a real guy characteristic. No matter what happens, we keep trying. We never give up on anyone.
But a lot of us will take out the garbage. We will take the kids to the beach. We will vacuum the floor and scrub the toilet. We will hold the women in our lives in the most tender, caring arms. We will never abandon anyone in need.
Please keep this in mind. We guys are all born with the instinct to become heroes. That's what we want for ourselves. That is our mission in life. Even if we have to die trying, we will do what is right, we will rescue anyone in danger, and we will bring peace and safety to everyone.
This is a big issue in my own writing.
A Trembling Wind is about a guy, a wandering troubadour, who finds himself becoming a hero.
Pixie is about a middle-aged businessman who finds himself by accepting the unconditional love of a woman who seems to be from another world, but who guides him through a series of horrific events.
The Manuscript is about a writer who loses his WIP, goes mad, and finds his way to sanity by helping a woman who seems to appear from nowhere.
An anecdote from my own life:
When I was sixteen and just learning to drive, my father, my brother, and my little sister drove from our home in Eastern Oregon to Walla Walla, Washington, which is famous for its agriculture production--grapes for wine, peaches, cherries--anything that grows. Dad was a college professor. We were not migrant laborers. He wanted us to understand what it meant to harvest food and bring it home, where we would work with Mom (who was a psychotherapist by day) to freeze or can the harvest. He and Mom had grown up on farms, so harvesting and canning were pleasures, not burdens. They wanted to share their joy with us kids.
Dad had me drive. On the way home, he and my siblings needed to empty their bladders. Dad told me to pull to the side of the road. It was a narrow gravel road with a ditch on both sides. I obeyed. When the time to leave came, our rear wheels spun. We were stuck in the ditch.
I hopped out of the van and waved at the next passing vehicle, a pickup truck driven by Mexican migrants. We could not communicate with words. No English for them. No Spanish for us. But they understood the situation. Their truck had a winch attached to the front. They tucked the hook under our front bumper and pulled our van onto the road.
Dad dug into his wallet and offered a twenty-dollar bill. The Mexican guy driving the truck held up his hands. He laughed and waved them to the side. Clearly, he would not take the money.
"Amigos," he said, as he jumped back into the truck and drove away.
This always stuck with me. Guys who drive around with winches on their pickup trucks so they can rescue people. That's what a guy is. Not the one guzzling beer and spacing out on sports TV.
I hope this all makes sense to you ladies. Guys live to fall in love with ladies like you, or with guys. You may see yourselves as undesirable or ugly or hopeless, but the real guys in the real world see you as desirable, beautiful, and as harbingers of hope not only for yourselves but for them.
As Stan Lee said, "Nuff said."
If I had to generalise about guys, I'd say a reticence to share feelings is probably the defining trait (if there is one) – I think Jason is spot on to say that. I certainly see it in my male friends who are variously struggling with too many kids, not enough time, failing marriages, and unfulfilling careers – the usual stuff. And I see it in myself.
