Help Please! Advice needed, please.

7 Notable Writing Conferences in January 2019

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No, I'm afraid not. I do remember someone I knew briefly years ago, telling me about how she smuggled many recreational drugs from Oregon into Dublin in false bottomed spray cans... Her Christmas was very shiny and happy and bright.
 
What size of goods are we talking about?
Recently, an elderly friend told me about smuggling cash, for a house deposit, into Italy in the days of strict financial limits. She said: "Ooh, it's simple, my dear. You wear two pairs of knickers and your largest bra, get the biggest notes available and just stuff yourself. Then you wear something low-necked and floaty and flirt like mad with the customs officers..."
 
For the technically minded, the notes go between knickers 1 and knickers 2 and also "under the bosom" in the bra. I have no idea if it would work nowadays -- almost certainly not at an airport -- my friend was travelling by car.
 
The kind of goods isn't necessarily relevant as such, but I'm wondering what happens when goods arrive in the UK. I'm assuming there are import duties to be paid for at the port when a container full of stuff arrives? And presumably, if the import duties aren't being paid for because someone has cashflow problems, the goods are held up at the port until someone hands over the dosh? Does the tax have to be paid in advance, or upon arrival? That kind of stuff. It needs to be legit as possible. The protagonist needs to lend someone money for a lucrative business venture.

I once ordered something from the US and was clobbered with £25 duty. I had a note from Customs & What'sit to notify me. As soon as I paid it, they sent it on. But that was for my use, not for a commercial endeavour. On the business side of things, where goods are traded on, it might be different?
 
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For the technically minded, the notes go between knickers 1 and knickers 2 and also "under the bosom" in the bra
Thank you for that clarification. Next time I travel by ferry I will attempt this and report back. Fifty-euro lined bosoms and bottom. If questioned I'll say I was testing the thermal properties of the notes.
 
Mr Google usually knows the answer. But it might be hours of boring research.
Yeah, not the most fun way of spending an afternoon. I've found some useful bits already, but there's nothing quite like first hand experience to pick at and to chew stuff over with. I have a few 'but what if' and 'how about' questions. Mr Google can only take you so far with research. Shame websites aren't interactive.

A phone call to the right agency might do the trick, too.
Might have to do that. I've checked their website but they're inconveniently difficult to decipher for what exactly I'm thinking about.
 
I would try the press offices for container shipping companies. Or grit your teeth and go for Customs & Excise, likewise. (Good luck with that one.) You don't absolutely have to tell them that what you are writing is a book rather than a newspaper/magazine article.
 
Good idea about the shipping comps. Hadn't occurred to me. The Customs & Exc is the website I've been snooping through. I might end up ringing them. If I do, I'll have to try my best not to sound like I'm planning something dodgy, or else it'll be: 'You're an author, you say? Yeah right. What are you hiding Madam...'
 
Here you go. This looks like it will answer your questions, or at least give you a starting place. :)

Tax and customs for goods sent from abroad
Thank you. I've tired that one already but *SIGH* didn't get far with it. I had a bit of a snoop around it yesterday. Links after links that didn't get me what I'm after. But thank you for finding it for me though. I appreciate it. :)
 
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7 Notable Writing Conferences in January 2019

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