Love it! Have you turned your adventures into a short story yet? You should.
Thank you, Paul. I've thought about it and have lots of anecdotes written down. Although
@AgentPete seems to think the market for these sorts of books has dried up. But one of the best stories (now) was when my husband was kidnapped at gunpoint and held in the hills for 2 hours by a drug dealer who thought he had stolen his 40,000euros worth of grass plants. He gave Chris 48 hours to either return the plants or come up with 40k, or he would be tortured, and his family... so, me and the kids... killed. Given that Chris hadn't a clue what he was talking about, and the baddie was so stoned he didn't know which way was up, negotiations didn't go too well. We ended up leaving town for a while, but Chris suffered badly with post-traumatic stress (having a real gun held to your throat is very different than reading about it or seeing it in the movies). A few days later the guy accused someone else and had his throat slashed with a Stanley knife. Sadly, he survived. Oh, and before you ask, we did go straight to the Gendarmerie to report it. They could have kept the baddie for 24 hours, but unless they found a weapon they would have had to release him. We figured he'd know it was us denouncing him and kill us for sure. So dropped the complaint.
Or the time we had to take a neighbour to court for molesting our 9-year-old daughter...
As I said, there should have printed a warning on this part of France.

I get tired of people saying "Oooh aren't you lucky, Ms Fancypants, you live in the South of France..."