Stabbing Is Best Murder, According to Shakespeare

[Katie-Ellen]

Not funny. Shouldn't have laughed but....

Why's it coming out so small....tsk. I doubled the size





Try again...open this for a more legible image.

http://www.improbable.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/shakespeare-deaths.jpg

 

[Chase Gamwell]

Not funny. Shouldn't have laughed but....

Why's it coming out so small....tsk. I doubled the size



View attachment 979

I'm disappointed that "fallen from great height" isn't on the list. Guess I should scrap my current mystery novel and go back to the drawing board. The next book will have to feature stabbing as the means of death!

 

[Katie-Ellen]

Coo! You could READ it? He missed a trick, then, didn't he, Chase, mucking about with being chased by bears and baking people in pies.

 

[Chase Gamwell]

I could read it. My face was inches from the screen, but I persevered!

Either way, all of the causes of death seemed very funny when you consider the source.

 

[Katie-Ellen]

The indigestion one is truly alarming. And the lack of sleep.

 

[Chase Gamwell]

I like that!

Just saw this on Twitter (via the Guardian).

 

[Alistair Roberts]

Well things have changed, he didn't even use a gun once!? And yes they did exist back then, although they were single shots only with hand loaded gunpowder

 

[Katie-Ellen]

Sustainable firewood, heh. What about the perils of falling soft drinks machines or internet forum voodoo?

Is it possible to literally die of fright?

Yes.

 

[Patricia D]

Coo! You could READ it? He missed a trick, then, didn't he, Chase, mucking about with being chased by bears and baking people in pies.

One of the bad guys dies via bear in my WIP; however no one is baked into a pie, although I do like the idea
.

 

[KG Christopher]

One of the bad guys dies via bear in my WIP; however no one is baked into a pie, although I do like the idea
.

Backed into a pie is a favourite in English folk lore, 4 and 20 black birds, Beatrix Potters kittens (rolly polly must be classed as a pie if it contains kittens?).

 

[Patricia D]

the poisoned artisanal brioche is pretty cool, too, especially if served with a skinny cyanide latte made with organic, free-trade coffee beans. As a mystery writer, I particularly appreciate this thread.

 

[Patricia D]

Backed into a pie is a favourite in English folk lore, 4 and 20 black birds, Beatrix Potters kittens (rolly polly must be classed as a pie if it contains kittens?).

How do you get the victim to lie still while you're putting on the top crust?

 

[Nicole Wilson]

One of the bad guys dies via bear in my WIP; however no one is baked into a pie, although I do like the idea
.

Murder a la Sweeney Todd

 

[Nicole Wilson]

I love how there's Stabbed, Poisoned, and Stabbed and Poisoned

 

[Patricia D]

I love how there's Stabbed, Poisoned, and Stabbed and Poisoned

that's for the "belt and suspenders" personalities

 

[KG Christopher]

How do you get the victim to lie still while you're putting on the top crust?

You would have to be a brilliant baker - a la Mary Berry, to get an even crust, and probably have to be part hypnotyst to convince them to lie still 'go to sleep in this nice warm pie dish---yes, thats it, you'r feeeling sleepy and lets cover you with this nicee soft duvet.'

 

[Katie-Ellen]

The fact of the poisoned brioche being artisanal makes it a better class of murder, and extra piquant; but was the poison sufficiently posh?

LIVE blackbirds. They'd better be, Heston. But won't they poo in the pie?

Bird Poo Pie. Who wants more?


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UD3SUbN7Vhw

 

[Alistair Roberts]

Belladonna poison in my current novel

 

[Katie-Ellen]

Iconic witch plant poison. 'Delenda est belladonna' .... The Go Between by LP Hartley, and the boy Leo attacks the plant.

 

[Jason Byrne]

One of the bad guys dies via bear in my WIP; however no one is baked into a pie, although I do like the idea
.

Murder a la Sweeney Todd

Which is an awesome movie for people that enjoy both musicals and accidental cannibalism, such as myself.

Also, let's pause for a moment to further discuss "buried up to neck starvation" guy...

 

[Jason Byrne]

I like that!

Just saw this on Twitter (via the Guardian).

Well there's already that guy that walked off a cliff while texting...

OR WAS PUSHED!!!

 

[Jason Byrne]

Add another one!

 

[Katie-Ellen]

He is clearly depressed. This card is nicknamed 'the bored boy.'

 

[Carol Rose]

I like that!

Just saw this on Twitter (via the Guardian).

LOL!! Strangled with smartphone charger cable. I love it!!

 

[Patricia D]

LOL!! Strangled with smartphone charger cable. I love it!!

I imagine more than one parent of a teenager has been tempted

 

[Carol Rose]

I imagine more than one parent of a teenager has been tempted

They are quite small... would be easy to get around someone's neck, especially while they're distracted by texting...

 

[Alistair Roberts]

Hm, be right back.............

 

[Carol Rose]

Hm, be right back.............

LOL!! Be sure you have a spare charger because I'm pretty sure using it in that way would break it. LOL!!

 

[Jason Byrne]

They are quite small... would be easy to get around someone's neck, especially while they're distracted by texting...

Kind of like that motorized garrote in The Counselor...

 

[Chase Gamwell]

Kind of like that motorized garrote in The Counselor...

I thought the movie was terrible, but that scene was waaaaay out there on the brutality scale...