I always wondered how I would react if this actually happened...

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Lex Black

Full Member
Aug 6, 2014
...turns out, it's with nausea.

Yeah, I don't get me either.

Twenty years, I've been failing. I've collected pissoffwriter.docs from every agent and editor on the face of the planet, so I simply resolved to get a second copy from each of them. I've been snubbed by so many places that I'm certain some of them sprang into existence Twilight Zone-style ("What do you mean, the publishing house down the street rejected you yesterday? That building's been empty and condemned for years!") just so the universe can keep its combo bonus going with my frustration.

Just now, I found this reply in my email from an agent I forgot I even submitted to:

"Hi Lex,

I very much enjoyed your submission and would like to read the entire first book. Feel free to send it along to this email address at your convenience."


This is some kind of mistake, right? Or a cruel joke? Perhaps this person was just drunk when they sent out what looks to me to be a "form acceptance", right? As I said, I sent this so long ago that I actually forgot about it, so I'm thinking this has to be some kind of mix-up.

Even so, out of all the feelings I imagined if I ever got anything OTHER than pissoffwriter.doc, I didn't expect to be literally sick to my stomach. I read that line, something I would have thought would fill me with elation, and all I want is to throw up. I know that realistically this isn't going to lead to anything (even if this weren't some kind of odd mix-up, reviewing this person's genres has me wondering why the hell I ever submitted to them, and why they would be interested enough to read the submission in the first place) so I don't have any emotional attachment to this. I guess I'm just in something like shock?

Anyway, weirdness. How are all of you?
No, guys, you don't get it. It's not...this agent represents the wrong...
...thanks, everyone. :)
Congratulations, Lex! Hope the shock wore off and you went somewhere to celebrate. :)

No, because it's just someone who actually wanted to read more than ten words before sending a form rejection. I'm just waiting for said rejection, but at least the nausea has worn off. :p
So you had full on imposter syndrome; I've been there but it's not comfortable. Better buy a bucket in case the accept full ms

No, not imposter syndrome. I have no illusions about my level of writing ability (hint: it's slightly above "garden slug" or "Paolini and Meyer"). But this person represents romance, which is...not my genre.

Also, they're sure taking a long time to read three more pages and send a form rejection. Maybe they just didn't bother with that part? I was waiting to start submitting again out of professional courtesy, but if I'm waiting for a response that will never come...
If you wrote the original post shortly after receiving the request for the full MS, it hasn't even been two weeks yet. That's not a long time for an agent to read a full.
I was told by one agent to expect a 6-8 week response time for a query + 10 pages. I imagine it's even longer for a full MS. Don't fret yet :)
OK, it's been a calendar month, so I can write this one off finally. Thanks for the goodwill, everyone! I hope you're all having better luck than I am. :)
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