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Craft Chat From the guy who wrote Fight Club

Pamela Jo

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Useful tips.

1. “Instead of writing about a character, write from within the character. This means that every way the character describes the world must describe the character’s experience. You and I never walk into the same room as each other. We each see the room through the lens of our own life. A plumber enters a very different room than a painter enters.
This means you can’t use abstract measurements. No more six-foot-tall men. Instead you must describe a man’s size based on how your character or narrator perceives a man whose height is seventy-two inches. A character might say ‘a man too tall to kiss’ or ‘a man her dad’s size when he’s kneeling in church’…All standardized measurements preclude you describing how your character sees the world.”
Every description in your story is an opportunity to shape your reader’s perspective of the characters – I love his observation that no two people walk into a room in the same way – that immediately gets you thinking.
2. “[When writing in first person] always keep your camera pointed elsewhere, describing other characters. Strictly limit a character’s reference to self…Each narrator acts as a foil — think of Dr. Watson gushing about Sherlock Holmes — because a heroic character telling his own story would be boring and off-putting as hell. In addition, don’t screen the world through your narrator’s senses. Instead of writing, ‘I heard the bells ring,’ write just, ‘The bells rang,’ or, ‘The bells began to ring.’ Avoid, ‘I saw Ellen,’ in favor of, ‘Ellen stepped from the crowd.’”
-Chuck Palahniuk
If you decide to write from the first-person perspective, Palahniuk recommends to “submerge the I.”Whenever possible, refrain from using phrases like “I saw” or “I heard.” Point the lens on someone else to avoid boring your reader. Your goal is to help the reader envision themselves inside the world you’ve created. To do that, describe the scenery around your character such that the reader can practically see, smell, taste, and touch the surroundings (showing not telling!) – I thought this submerging the I idea was very interesting and it helps removed the repetition of ‘I’ through the story.
3. “If your stories tend to amble along, lose momentum, and fizzle out, I’d ask you, ‘What’s your clock?’ And, ‘Where’s your gun?’…In fiction the clock I’m talking about is anything that limits the story’s length by forcing it to end at a designated time.”
Palahniuk explains that the authors of Rosemary’s Baby and The Grapes of Wrath use a pregnancy to serve as a clock. Their readers knew the story would crescendo in nine months. Agatha Christie used the name of her novel as a clock in And Then There Were None. As one character after another bit the dust, readers knew when the story would ultimately conclude.
I love the idea of finding a way to insert a clock into your story to build suspense and tension – in The Killing Sensewe know Kate’s only in Paris for 5 days. In Something’s About to Blow Upwe know something is going to happen in twenty-four hours. Using a time frame/ticking clock also helps you hugely in the execution of your story. It keeps everything tight.
4. “Before you sit down to write a scene, mull it over in your mind and know the purpose of that scene. What earlier set-ups will this scene pay off? What will it set up for later scenes? How will this scene further your plot? As you work, drive, exercise, hold only this question in your mind. Take a few notes as you have ideas. And only when you’ve decided on the bones of the scene — then, sit and write it. Don’t go to that boring, dusty computer without something in mind. And don’t make your reader slog through a scene in which little or nothing happens. This last point is especially critical. With my students, I put it this way: “What is the point of the scene?” And the point generally has two parts: The purpose of the scene as it relates to the Plotline and the purpose of the scene as it relates to the Themeline. That is, there’s something going on through characters’ actions and dialogue (External World), but there should also something else be going in the emotional life of the scene through characters’ intentions and subtext (Internal World). So the advice is not only about the focus of the scene, but also about giving it depth and texture.
 
Brilliant advice.

And for those who don't know, Palahniuk wrote a fantastic series of 36 craft essays back in the mid 2000s. An online search will turn them up. Well worth a read.
I agree, Rich. I have a download of those 36 essays from when he offered them free on LitReactor (I think in 2014 or 2015 or so). You remind me to pull the file up and review them again. Some of his advice is really, really good, and I like the easy way he conveys it. And it's not just about horror or other "edgy" aspects of his own writing, but rather widely applicable.

He was involved in a respected writers' group here in the Portland Oregon area (he lives near me in Vancouver WA), along with Tom Spanbauer, Suzy Vitello, Cheryl Strayed and others. That group must have been an amazing critique group. It may still be going, though Spanbauer, who I believe started it, recently passed away. I'm not sure if LitReactor still offers the essays. I think Reedsy took it over and it's not the same now.
 
Is it a red flag if a beta reader adds a comment such as "what is the point of the scene" when they haven't finished the book yet? Or do I have to circle back to them and ask if they see the point of the scene after they finish. Or maybe what they really mean is "this section drags on," and can't bring themselves to say it.
 
Is it a red flag if a beta reader adds a comment such as "what is the point of the scene" when they haven't finished the book yet? Or do I have to circle back to them and ask if they see the point of the scene after they finish. Or maybe what they really mean is "this section drags on," and can't bring themselves to say it.
I think it means your beta reader has exited their reader brain and taken on their editors cap. Unless they are being paid to be your developmental editor it lessons the value for me. A reader as you say should simply hang in there to see where it fits. Now yu dont know if your target reader would or would not. However yu probably do now know go back and make it more obvious why that scene is there.
 
"what is the point of the scene"

Warning: pet peeve. Rant coming, lol.

Geez, I'm sorry you got that comment. That comment is harsh and unkind; a bit 'high and mighty'. It could have been worded with more thought and care for what will help you, like 'I hope this scene will later tie in with the main plot,' but ultimately, it should never have been said.

Ignore the comment. You know why the scene is there and the purpose it serves. Sure there are tricks writers can use can use to get readers turning pages faster, but that's up to a writer to figure out if they want that, it's not a critiquer's role make unhelpful comments that only harm another writer's confidence.

You know how I know this critiquer took no care? That comment could have been said for any book for any writer. It's not a specific comment on your book. Lazy critiquing. If people don't have time to take on the critiquing AND do a good job, they shouldn't do it until they have the time TO do a good job. Sure, I have generic comments I use all the time, like:

pesky typo
missing word
who said that?
Why?
What does that look like?

There's no agenda behind these comments, and they're line-by-line comments, not for a whole scene! They're made to help a writer figure out what words they can add on the page that'll give the reader a clearer reading experience. The comment you received has AGENDA written all over it, even if the critiquer didn't intend that, it's come out that way. The comment says, 'I've had a bad day and you're boring me. Why are you even writing?' So mean, unnecessary and unhelpful.

Sometimes those who critique need to allow writers the freedom to setup in order to payoff later.

Find another beta reader :)

PS when beta readers stop reading is an indication in and of itself.

I've had many a beta reader drop out and that tells me it's time to either buckle down to serious edits, or move on to another project, because if someone takes on the commitment to beta read, they take on the job to read the whole book. If they can't do that, they're sending a message to the writer i.e. this didn't hold my interest so it probably won't hold a readers (unless the beta reader tells you they had to stop for life/time constraints).

Sometimes, it's a taste thing too. Do they read your genre? If they then drop out, that's a strong sign to move on too.
 
Is it a red flag if a beta reader adds a comment such as "what is the point of the scene" when they haven't finished the book yet? Or do I have to circle back to them and ask if they see the point of the scene after they finish. Or maybe what they really mean is "this section drags on," and can't bring themselves to say it.
The comment definitely flags the scene as one which doesn't seem to be moving the story forward. I wonder if by asking it, though, instead of just telling the writer that, the beta reader is respectfully leaving open the potential that s/he may not recognize or understand the writer's reason for the scene. Sometimes the issue is that a writer needs to better convey his or her intent, and there are reasons for scene inclusion that s/he feels are important in a context which an editor or beta reader hasn't yet grasped. That's not so common with straightforward action-oriented plots, but if a novel is more complex, it could be meaningful. Perhaps it's character development, or necessary foreshadowing or setting something up for a future scene. Of course, whatever the writer's reason, the scene still needs 'to work' , whether the novel is plot or character-driven.
It must, indeed! Thinking about groups like that makes me feel like a child, face pressed against the glass of the toyshop window, coveting the too-expensive toys.
I agree, Rich. I experience it in just the same way! If only . . . .
 
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