Carol Rose
Basic
Exposition and How to Avoid Overusing it
What is exposition? The dictionary defines it as a comprehensive description and explanation of an idea or theory. Right off the bat, the definition alone tells you it sounds more suited to a textbook than a novel. A story. And yet, most beginning writers (and a few seasoned ones), use it liberally, especially at the beginning of a story.
In the writing world, exposition is also referred to as info dumping or telling. Obviously, if you tried to write an entire novel without some telling or exposition, it would be an exhausting endeavor, would be much too long for any publisher to consider, and would likely be difficult to read. There are times when it's perfectly acceptable to tell your readers something, or to give them snippets of information they need. Let's walk through those times, and ways to do it without drawing them into long, drawn-out paragraphs that might put them to sleep, or worse, cause them to abandon the book.
Let's talk about those all-important opening lines, since what applies to those also applies to using exposition throughout the story.
We're told to ground our readers in the Who, What, When, Where, and Why. All within the first page or two. Tough to do, right? Yes, it is. It's equally tough to do without simply listing it - without simply telling them, this is whose head you're in, this is where she is, this is why she's there, this is the year she's in, and this is what's going on.
Working on your opening lines is also important because they may be all a potential agent or publisher skims before making a decision to keep reading. If you can't hook people in the opening paragraphs, they're not going to keep reading. That's a cold, hard fact. The sooner you accept that as gospel truth in the writing world, the more work you'll put into crafting opening lines. And the more you work at it (just like anything), the better you'll become.
A word of caution here. What worked in 1783, 1824, 1921, or even 1976 will not work today. Language changes because it's fluid. Society changes. Expectations of readers change. Agents and publishers change with those shifts. They have to. If they can't sell a book, they do not make money. This is their job. That's another cold, hard fact you must accept. They aren't in business to coddle writers or to soothe their ruffled feathers. They're in business to make money, the same way you may go to a job five days a week to earn a paycheck so you can pay your bills and buy food and shelter.
That's why it's essential for a writer to understand their target market, understand the genre expectations in which they're writing, and understand the industry as it works today. Not thirty years ago. Not fifty years ago. Not two hundred years ago. Today. Why am I going on about this? Because I see all too often someone write a lovely story just as an author would have written it in times past, then bemoan the fact that no one wants to dredge through two chapters of introspective first person narrative before getting to the action in the story. Or, no one wants a prologue of nothing but exposition, setting up the entire backstory and history of what's going to happen in chapter four. Unless you're writing high fantasy, where the reader expectations are that you describe the entire history of the people in a long prologue, down to a description of the buttons on their coats, pages and pages of exposition are not going to be read by an agent or publisher.
And again, that's why it's essential to know your intended genre and its reader expectations. Know what's selling today. Sell the first book. Build up a reader base. Then you can experiment and push the boundaries. And if you're lucky and skilled at it, your readers will follow you.
Back to those important opening lines.
I'm a romance writer, and I'm published in an even tighter niche market - erotic romance. The openings of those books are expected to drop readers straight into the conflict of the heroine and/or hero. In other genres, you can get away with easing them in a bit more leisurely, but it's still a good idea to get into the habit of dropping them in the middle of something. By doing this, you can easily take care of the Who, What, When, Where, and Why, while also getting to the heart of the story.
Exposition (think of this as information, if that helps) and backstory are two things that should be dribbled in. You want to sprinkle it in places where it has relevance to the immediate or present action in the story. We'll talk about flashbacks in another post, so for now, we're talking about using information and backstory as your set up, or as transitions. I also tossed in the word conflict there. I don't want to veer off onto a tangent by talking about GMC - goal, motivation, and conflict, but it's very important you know your characters' GMC BEFORE you begin writing. Why? Well ... how can you drop them into the middle of the main conflict if you don't know what that conflict is?
EXAMPLE ONE
This is the opening paragraph from Bloodlust, the first book in my Unlicensed to Kill series. This book is published as Ravenna Tate by Evernight.
Digger had never been this nervous talking to Anthony LoPresti. He’d known the man his entire life, after all. But this was different. Tony wanted to know what had really happened to Roberto di Stefano. This was exactly what Digger had hoped would not happen. That others would start asking questions.
This book is a spin-off from my six-book series titled Demons on Wheels MC. My readers already know who Digger and Tony are, and they already know that Roberto di Stefano was killed, and that Digger and another man were responsible for the death. Digger is a hit man and Tony is a mob boss. They also know why Roberto was killed. I haven't grounded my readers in the Where or When here because I've made the assumption that they have read my Demons on Wheels MC series already. This is only an assumption I can get away with because this is my 95th publication, and I know my readers by now. I know they will stick with me past the first paragraph, even if it's a bit vague.
But, I have still grounded them in the Who, What, and Why. Digger is about to be grilled on a hit he did, by a man he's known all his life. A man who's important in Digger's life. A man who will want answers, no matter what. And we know Tony holds some authority over Digger because Digger is nervous about these questions. Let's read on... (and excuse the cuss words, please!)
“Wouldn’t you have heard if it was a hit?” He hated lying to Tony, but it wasn’t something he could tell anyone. Not ever. He’d have to take the real story to his grave.
“Yeah. That’s what has me bothered. I heard nothing. From no one.”
“Neither did I.” He was going to hell for sure. He’d just told the man half a dozen outright fucking lies in the space of less than ten minutes.
I went straight to dialogue in my next paragraphs, and it accomplished the Big Three Things: it showed characterization, it moved the story forward, and it gave the reader important information. Where I did use narrative, or exposition, it was immediate and relevant to the dialogue. Let's break it down further.
I've told the reader this is a lie, but I did so after the evasive lie Digger told Tony - "Wouldn't you have heard if it was a hit?" He hated lying to Tony, but it wasn’t something he could tell anyone. Not ever. He’d have to take the real story to his grave.
I've also told them that Digger has no intentions of ever telling Tony the true story. The reader already knows the true story, unless they didn't read my Demons on Wheels MC series. But even if they have not, they have more information now, and they know a bit more about both Tony and Digger. But instead of simply putting all this in narrative, I've given it to them via dialogue. That brings me to an important piece of advice about sprinkling in exposition. Framing it with dialogue is a lot more interesting to read.
“Yeah. That’s what has me bothered. I heard nothing. From no one.” This is Tony speaking. He's not an idiot. He likely knows Digger is lying or at least being evasive. I don't have to tell the reader this. They get it from the context of the previous two paragraphs, and from the way in which Tony says these lines to Digger.
“Neither did I.” He was going to hell for sure. He’d just told the man half a dozen outright fucking lies in the space of less than ten minutes. One more time, just for fun, I let the reader know Digger has lied - and this time I tell them how much - to mob boss Tony. And Digger knows he has, but now the reader understands that keeping the secret is more important than keeping his loyalty to Tony. They already know Digger has known Tony all his life. I told them that in the opening paragraph. They now also know he is willing to lie to this man to keep the real story of the hit a secret.
We're only halfway down the first page of the book and we have a lot of information about Digger as a person. We also have information about his relationship with Tony. As I said, I could get away with a bit less grounding of my readers in this one because of the prior books. So let's take a look at a book where I needed to first squarely ground my readers, because this was book one in a brand new series.
EXAMPLE TWO
This is the opening from my first Ravenna Tate book, Kidnapped By A Warrior, which was my 59th publication by then. It's book one of a four-book erotic sci-fi romance series. As you can see, I spent more time with the What, When, Where, Who, and Why. Reading this now, though, I feel I could have cut back on the setup even more and made this opening much more immediate.
It had been six months, seven days, and two hours since the world as Callie O’Doyle had known it ended. And she was still no closer to finding a decent job than she’d been before the day of the first invasion, so she could hardly blame her current state on them. They called themselves the Tyranns, but Callie called them the asshole aliens, like most people she heard talk about them did.
Her parents and both sisters had been taken in the first invasion, and the few friends who were left and hadn’t gone into hiding were too scared to come outside any more than was absolutely necessary. But Callie still had bills to pay, at least until the water, electricity, and heat stopped worked in her apartment, so she needed to find a better job.
Everyone referred to it as the first invasion because it was common knowledge the Tyranns had landed in other cities around the globe, but according to the news reports they’d been able to receive before most of the cable and local television stations went offline, their tiny city had been the site of the first landing.
She stood in front of the squat, brick building, debating. This wasn’t her dream job. But then, there weren’t many of those left so she had to give this her best shot. It wasn’t like the world had a huge need for art history majors these days, any more than it had before they landed on the planet and changed human life forever. She’d take what she could get right now, and try to survive.
The foyer smelled faintly of boiled cabbage, which made her wonder who lived upstairs. The door to the so-called gallery was open, so she walked in and glanced around. Just as Callie was about to turn around and leave, she heard footsteps from behind a partition.
We have dialogue in the next paragraph, but as I said, it takes me a while to get there. What I should have done was move the next paragraph, where Callie meets the gallery owner, to the third paragraph. The rest of the setup/backstory should have come after a few lines between Callie and the gallery owner. Below is their initial exchange. As you can see, the reader is given a lot of characterization for both Callie and the gallery owner, as well as important information about what came before in this story. But it's accomplished through dialogue instead of narrative. Where there is narrative, it's short and relevant to what is being said out loud by the two characters.
A woman Callie guessed was in her fifties but who walked like she was much older shuffled out, took off her glasses, and smiled, showing a couple of missing teeth. “Are you Callie O’Doyle?”
Callie forced a smile to her face and walked toward the woman, hand extended. “Yes, I am.”
“I’m Lizzy Anderson. Welcome to my place. It’s not very big, but I’m afraid the space we used to occupy is ... no longer there.”
“Where was it?”
The woman nodded in the general direction of the street. “Charles Street.”
“Oh...” Charles Street, in addition to most of the harbor area, no longer existed. The first invasion had blasted it to smithereens, along with anyone who had been unfortunate enough to be close to or inside any of the buildings at the time.
“It was a beautiful place, but we were new and I’m afraid I wasn’t able to save any of the works we had acquired, although I did try that day.”
Callie glanced again at the bad reproductions on the walls, her heart going out to this sad woman who was trying to start a business at a time like this.
“After I got out of the hospital, I found these pictures in the Walmart across town. You know. The one missing sections of roofing. They were just lying there. No one wanted them. I know they’re not real, but do you really think anyone will know that? I mean, we know it, but is there anyone left who will really care?”
Callie put a hand to her mouth and stared at Lizzy. “You were there that day. It was your gallery on Charles Street.” New Concepts. That had been the name of the gallery, and it hadn’t even opened yet. She’d been drooling over it ever since she found out it would soon grace their once-beautiful harbor area, because they had desperately needed a real gallery in this town.
The woman’s expression grew cold. “Yes. Yes, I was. But I was one of the lucky ones. I survived.”
This takes us to the end of page two in the book. I've ticked all the boxes. Who, What, When, Where, and Why. I've dropped Callie into the middle of her conflict. I've shown readers who she is as a person, and I've given readers the basic setup for Callie's world today, and how it came to be that way. And, I've done all that with only a few paragraphs of straight narrative at the beginning of the story. If I was rewriting this today, I'd move some of that dialogue closer to the beginning.
So, how does an author decide what exposition belongs in the story, and what is really not needed?
Over the years, I've developed a litmus test of sorts. I've gleaned this from various sources, and it may or may not work for everyone. And to be honest, I still sometimes struggle with this as a writer. I don't think this is something that's always easy or quick to get a handle on, because each story is unique.
How much exposition is too much? Have I gone on long enough by now? Do my readers really need to know this?
My general test for any piece of narrative that goes on longer than one paragraph is this:
- Does this give the reader necessary information to further ground them?
- Does this show new characterization?
- Does this move the story forward?
- Can I accomplish any of the above with either dialogue or action instead?
So let's summarize...
Exposition, info dumping, narrative, backstory are all essentially the same thing. Extraneous information that may or may not be necessary to the story. The writer uses it to let the reader know something. Things that happened before the story started, things that shaped who the characters are today, or things the characters are feeling or thinking. But sometimes, this information is not critical to the story. It's only filler.
Using exposition anywhere in the story should still accomplish something each time. It should give the reader necessary information that can't be better shown through dialogue or action instead. It should move the story forward, not merely act as filler or fluff. And it should tell them something which reinforces the dialogue around it, or which will become relevant very soon. Otherwise, it doesn't belong there.
One more quick thing I want to add. When submitting to Pop-Up Submissions, we only send @AgentPete the first 700 words. If you've watched any of them, you know that's all we have to make a judgement on, because that's the average amount of words an agent or publisher will read before deciding to pass or keep going.
From my two examples up there, the second one is 668 words. Just to give you some perspective on how much you need to jam into those all-important opening pages.
Now let's talk about it. Let's discuss exposition and ways to use it.
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