April Flash Club Contest

[Anonymous]

An endlessly long fall seen in action movies; Ted scoffed crisps, Joss and Katrina held hands and back door handles, their feet trailed behind.

 

[Anonymous]

"If anyone's got any ideas," Ted remarked, mouth full of crisps, "this is probably the time to mention them."

 

[Anonymous]

'Dragoooooooon!' Joss screamed.
'Hey, aren't they your underpants, Ted?' Katrina shouted nodding her head, wind gusting past her ears with shards of cheese and onion.

 

[Anonymous]

"I wish, I wish, I SO really wish I'd never seen the damn things..."

And, at Ted's words, in a flash they were all back at the beginning.

 

[Anonymous]

'So, the whole thing about dragons and underpants is made-up?' Joss said.
'Yep,' Katrina said.
Ted toothpicked crisps from his teeth. 'I don't believe you.'

 

[Anonymous]

"If it were all made up, how come I can still do this with my head?" His detached head glared at Katrina - more closely.

 

[Anonymous]

"Real enough," Katrina said eventually. "And the Joss-impersonator in the pub..? Dead..?"

"I suppose I'm barred now." Ted tried shaking his head. Bad idea.

 

[Anonymous]

'My impersonator is dead,' Joss snapped. 'You killed him, remember?'
'I did what I had to,' Ted replied. 'But, now I have fire-power.'

 

[Anonymous]

"... so now, dragons," Ted paused for effect, "bring on... the underpants!"

 

[Anonymous]

All three simultaneously realised that VR headsets aren't that good, and they really were falling from a cliff, behind a burning van.
The dragon swooped.

 

[Anonymous]

They all fell into an enormous nimbostratus, followed by the burning van, and the dragon.
Things went very dark. And wet.

 

[Anonymous]

"For f***'s sake, dragon is pissing on us!" Joss wiped a hand over her hair. Sniffed it. Ugh! Rancid! "Put your underpants back on, Dragon!"

 

[Anonymous]

With all the weight of extra water released by the dragon, the whole raincloud dropped its load.

 

[Anonymous]

Ted gasped, realising that his conflagratory ability was extinguished.
The dragon seized the intrepid three, just before they hit the ground. 'Gotcha,' she yelped.

 

[Anonymous]

They had been saved! Or so they thought. 'Don't move, guys,' Katrina gulped, when she saw what lay all around them.

 

[Anonymous]

A ring of scorpions, tails raised to strike. Just beyond them... live power cables, sparking in the puddles.
Approaching from the cliff face - angry Scousers.

 

[Anonymous]

​

"Hold hands, form a ring, facing outwards..." Katrina began, "close your eyes..."
"And then..?" asked Joss.
"Start counting. 39, 40, 41..."

 

[Anonymous]

'Why did we start at 39?' Joss asked.
'Shut your gob and trust her,' Ted snapped. 'That crowd mean business.'

 

[Anonymous]

"42!" Katrina yelled.
And in an instant all was dark.

 

[Anonymous]

The Liverpudlian louts stopped still.
The scorpions stopped whistling.
The cables ceased crackling.
The dragon paused, mid piss.
Then, from behind the mountain... a helicopter.

 

[Anonymous]

A helicopter... trailing a banner on which these words were inscribed:

THE END

 

[Anonymous]

OF ROUND ONE. IF YOU WISH TO PLAY ON, GRAB HOLD OF ME AS I HOVER.

 

[Anonymous]

There will be NO VOTING until the final week of April: the story will end on the 22nd and voting will start on the 23rd.

?

 

[Emily]

?

Oh dear. Life just passed me by... I got completely caught up in the story!! Okay:
FINISHES TOMORROW, 24TH APRIL, Voting from Monday 25th April.

Apologies, my little Flashies....

 

[Rich.]

Ah, and your quote above has unmasked me. If it wasn't for you pesky kids, I would've got away with it! *shakes fist*

 

[Anonymous]

The chopper came lower, dropped a ladder - the bottom rung just above their heads.
A woman leaned out, yelled, 'Climb up, Ted.'
Pants-thief-woman!

 

[Anonymous]

"Let's just die here, together, " suggested Joss romantically.

"Like f***!!" said Katrina, shaking Ted off the ladder. She grabbed Joss tight and began climbing.

 

[Anonymous]

The dragon watched the ladder-induced scuffles, amused. 'I have no fear,' she said, 'I'm one with everything. Deep joy! The meaning of life. 42!'

 

[Anonymous]

I know we aren't supposed to post twice in a row, but the story was supposed to have ended yesterday. Ahem...

So, the dragon enjoyed inner peace, while the humans fought. Meanwhile, forgotten, the Gucci underpants floated downstream like a stylish white stingray. Seeking new victims.

 

[Emily]

(THANK YOU. Wipes brow.)

THE END.

The voting is open, and may the odds be forever in your favour. ​