Craft Chat The Difference Between Memoir and Wallowing In the Past

[BrianY]

The (food adventure) projects I'm working on need some context, but all too often, they're nothing more than wallowing in my sad past. How can I tell the difference more easily? Indeed, I am astounded by how much self-pity I can cram into a page.

 

[Rachael Burnett]

The (food adventure) projects I'm working on need some context, but all too often, they're nothing more than wallowing in my sad past. How can I tell the difference more easily? Indeed, I am astounded by how much self-pity I can cram into a page.

I’m a massive fan of a sad story, but I know what you mean. If your book involves recipes, then focusing on those that bring you joy might resolve this situation; same with food places. I am interested in books about memory and the subjectivity of memory. Food is such an emotive thing tethered to memory, whether it’s birthday, Diwali, Eid, Hanukah, Vesak, Christmas, weddings, christening in all their multi-faith forms, etc. and the associated food memories. I think there’s immense value in sad memories and there’s a tiny line separating sadness and happiness. I’m sure it will all work out in the writing. Wishing you great success

 

[JoanUP]

Maybe project your sad story onto that of the produce that sacrificed its life for the recipe.
?

 

[Hannah Faoileán]

Balance is key. The happy memories are fun. The sad memories can grab the sympathies of your reader. Just as long as it doesn't get to the point of the reader thinking, Oh, come on! Get over yourself!
Good luck with getting the balance right.

 

[Aethalope]

The context is sadness, but the food is joy, or? As in, the food should help provide the right happiness/self-pity balance.

 

[Vagabond Heart]

I think the clue words were ‘wallowing’ and ‘self-pity’. Just….don’t.
Sad moments - when shot through with deep insights, or humour, or a sense of connecting nostalgia - can be wonderful.
Remember, even when you’re the subject of the book, it is still not about you - it’s about the reader.
So consider how you want them to FEEL after they’ve read your anecdote, and use that as your compass. Then you’ll do fine.

 

[BrianY]

Some very interesting thoughts here! These answers give voice to the way I'm cutting the text and increasing the recipe count. Food really does tell the story, even when you don't want it too.

 

[James Charles]

Ah, but isn't comfort food for sad times?

 

[BrianY]

Sometimes ...

 

[Robinne Weiss]

I second @Vagabond Heart's comments--consider what you want your reader to experience. It's really not about you, but about the experience and emotions you're delivering to the reader.

 

[MattScho]

Vagabond is dead on. You can't wallow in self pity, but you can lend insight into you, the food, the world around it. Traditionally, stand-ups use self pity as humor.