Some thoughts on recent Pop-Up entries, particularly the thrillers

[Hannah Faoileán]

OK. This is your next thriller. WHAT HAPPENS NEXT!

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2023/jul/20/lioness-believed-to-be-on-loose-in-berlin

I wonder what flavour his broom will be? Liquorice, rock . . .

Anyway, time for a great video

 

[MattScho]

OK. This is your next thriller. WHAT HAPPENS NEXT!

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2023/jul/20/lioness-believed-to-be-on-loose-in-berlin

It's so cool, a lion wandering the Grunewald is a great story. Had a similar moment in Baghdad, a couple days after the US invasion. the zoo animals almost all escaped because the keepers when fleeing just opened a lot of gates and the lions had been seen wandering in the central park. So i went to the central park with a photog to get a picture of these kind of famous crossed swords, but US troops stopped us. When we insisted, two came with, one in front, walking frontways, one behind, walking backwards, both with weapons out, scanning. I couldn't stop laughing at the idea that we'd be in an active warzone yet get eaten by a hungry lion

 

[Hannah Faoileán]

Janey Mac! This definitely looks like a lioness!

https://www.msn.com/en-gb/news/vide...1&cvid=702efaa7448f42468196b2516648cab3&ei=16

 

[CageSage]

An old friend used to give writer conference talks, and she would open with a story about a quite famous piece she'd written, dealing with AIDS in rural US.

Her conference talks, summed up:

She'd arrived at the hospital bed of a subject, covered in tubes and machines and clearly dying. his family was deep in talks about whether the time to end life support was now. The discussion was heated and laden with guilt (many had abandoned him on learning he was gay). Finally, a family member turned to my friend and said, "You spent more time talking to him, and about life and death topics, than any of us." the other family soon chimed in and agreed, she was the only person who really knew what he would have wanted. the decision on whether or not to end life support should be his, and as she knew better than they, would have to be hers. She realized the next words out of her mouth would determine whether this young man died today, or lived.

And that's where she stopped her story and started talking about writerly stuff, etc.

That, to me, is the essence of what we want in our first 700 words. It doesn't need to explode, unless it needs to explode. But it needs to grab a reader and make them shout "WTF happens next?"

It's Hitchcock's bomb on the bus, Show the reader the bomb. Make it clear that the bomb is going to explode. But you can't detonate that bomb. then you detonate that bomb.

Yes, that's it: the setup to conflict, the need for change, stakes, and consequences. But given to us as the first act to a story.

 

[RK Wallis]

Late to the party. Great thread. Fabulous discusion!

Advice from an editor I once had. "Don't bore the pants off people." My follow up is , "Writing is seduction."

I really like this editor. I also think many writers don't realise that 750 words is actually a pretty long scene. It's like life. Both longer and shorter than we can comprehend when we first start out.

I love Ellen Brock

This vlog just entered my feed:



I like the "5 words" bit...

 

[Adrian Bagley]

Late to the party. Great thread. Fabulous discusion!



I love Ellen Brock

This vlog just entered my feed:



I like the "5 words" bit...

"It's not the words we want to put in the readers' minds, it's the dream..."

 

[Chris Yugay]

I think that works because we already "know" Queen Victoria.

Good point. I too was thinking while reading Adrian's original post "Bilbo's story starts slowly but there isn't another story than the story of Bilbo Baggins that is so well recommended"

 

[Chris Yugay]

OK. This is your next thriller. WHAT HAPPENS NEXT!

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2023/jul/20/lioness-believed-to-be-on-loose-in-berlin

It is the strangest thing. It made me remember that a couple of years ago there were sightings of a lion in France (Normandy, I believe). At the time, I did not see any follow-ups on that article so, perhaps, she got away and eventually arrived in Germany. Even if there wasn't a story there, it deserves to be made up

 

[Pamela Jo]

It is the strangest thing. It made me remember that a couple of years ago there were sightings of a lion in France (Normandy, I believe). At the time, I did not see any follow-ups on that article so, perhaps, she got away and eventually arrived in Germany. Even if there wasn't a story there, it deserves to be made up

There are rumours that this is the private "pet" of either an international crime boss or Saudi prince so cannot be shot, but must be recaptured. So now it is reported, "That was not the lion you were looking for. It was a wild boar, not a lion. Nothing to see here folks-move along." This thriller is writing itself. I'm hearing it more in a Michael Chrichton voice. But could be Frederick Forsythe.

 

[Hannah Faoileán]

There are rumours that this is the private "pet" of either an international crime boss or Saudi prince so cannot be shot, but must be recaptured. So now it is reported, "That was not the lion you were looking for. It was a wild boar, not a lion. Nothing to see here folks-move along." This thriller is writing itself. I'm hearing it more in a Michael Chrichton voice. But could be Frederick Forsythe.

Just given me an expansion of a vague idea. I'm filing it in my ideas drawer.

 

[Pamela Jo]

Just saw this from an article on the actress Emily Blunt. It's the truth we all kind of know isn't it...?


Felicity, 17 months her senior, is a literary agent. When she reads manuscripts, she says: “If I’m thinking: ‘Is it good?’ it’s not good. If it’s great, you can’t stop thinking about it.” Such was the case seeing her little sister smash Brecht in the gym that night. “It was just incredible. She made it look so easy.”

 

[MattScho]

There are rumours that this is the private "pet" of either an international crime boss or Saudi prince so cannot be shot, but must be recaptured. So now it is reported, "That was not the lion you were looking for. It was a wild boar, not a lion. Nothing to see here folks-move along." This thriller is writing itself. I'm hearing it more in a Michael Chrichton voice. But could be Frederick Forsythe.

sadly, the search is off because zoologist party poopers are all saying it's an odd shade of wild boar. I still think it's a lion. But I don't think they're calling me to talk about it.

 

[James Charles]

sadly, the search is off because zoologist party poopers are all saying it's an odd shade of wild boar. I still think it's a lion. But I don't think they're calling me to talk about it.

I see a story. The lioness of Berlin.

 

[Pamela Jo]

I see a story. The lioness of Berlin.

I love the title.
I was in Berlin a few years before the wall fell. One of the first things I did for some reason was visit the zoo where I met the camels. These camels obviously knew the 1000th name of Allah-they were that wise and were literal spitfires. I believe they would unleash a foreign mercenary lioness as an act of terror.
This is just a land expansion of the Orca sea wars. When the lioness makes a truce with the wild boars and forms an alliance under her leadership Berlin will be the first city to fall to the coalition of natures's fiercest warriors. Only a retired war reporter, grizzled veteran of human vanity, avarice, and caprice realises the danger. But who's side is he on?

 

[MattScho]

I see a story. The lioness of Berlin.

The PigLion of Berlin

 

[Pamela Jo]

The PigLion of Berlin

First cousin to the the Pig Lizard.

 

[MattScho]

Oddly, it was not Grigack! That has been one of my go-to comedies since it came out. I had that in the back of my mind when I wrote PigLion.