You're So Vain

[Paul Whybrow]

I was looking through the articles on books in the Guardian newspaper, finding this interesting piece in the archive about writers and vanity, written by Julian Baggini, a British philosopher.

http://www.theguardian.com/books/booksblog/2015/feb/25/writers-vain-egotism-julian-baggini

( some great stories on writing beneath this article, and do read the comments section )

One of the first pieces of advice that I'd give to anyone considering writing a book, is to develop a hide as thick as a rhinoceros. Everyone thinks that they've got a book inside them, but nobody considers what will happen when the book is released into the wild!

Being an author is setting yourself up as a target for criticism and rejection. These brickbats will come from complete strangers, friends, family, readers, publishers, book-sellers and critics. That's if they say anything at all, for being completely ignored is the usual fate of a freshly published book. This is why writers welcome adverse criticism, as at least it means that someone has noticed you.

Ego and self-confidence aren't the same thing. We have to believe that we can write a story, or it simply won't exist. As Rumi observed : 'Don't be satisfied with stories, how things have gone with others. Unfold your own myth.'

Being over-egotistical is a sure way of suffocating any talent that one may have. Talent needs cold and clear objectivity to be honed until it's sharp and bright.

How do the Colonists deal with self-confidence, ego, arrogance, hubris, self-belief and vanity?

 

[Diamond]

I started out vain and arrogant, but time and failure has humbled me. I have managed to hang onto self-belief though.

 

[Jennifer Stone]

I've never been what anyone could call vain, arrogance just doesn't match my handbag.
In all seriousness, having been bullied for a lot of my childhood and teenage years, there's little anyone can say to me that will upset me. I'm not saying this for any sympathy or to say it's a good thing I got picked on, but it made me who I am and I don't care what others think of me. They don't know me.
Also I start with low expectations. Not that I start hoping to fail, but I know my work is good. Not great. I doubt I'll be the next Rowling or King. If I saw my book for sale in a 99p/c bin, I'd be happy.

 

[Jason Byrne]

Don't worry @Diamond and @Jennifer Stone, I've got enough vanity, ego, arrogance, hubris, and self-belief to go around! But the good news is I'm also insanely patient, so I'm content with a deadline for world domination of one natural human lifetime. I think I can get it done in time.

 

[Emurelda]

This is a worthwhile topic for everyone when we are not busy chasing our dreams - once we realise we are actually living it.

My husband and I have a little book (each) by the late Dr David Hawkins. We carry it with us everywhere and are constantly reflecting its gems.

Dissolving the Ego, Realising the Self

 

[Jason Byrne]

Here's another good one: Destiny of Souls, by Michael Newton.

 

[Alistair Roberts]

And what better place to be Lex. Still there's a novel in that lengthy journey with your name on it

 

[Emurelda]

And what better place to be Lex. Still there's a novel in that lengthy journey with your name on it

I agree with @Alistair Roberts ..there's a sense of irony here. Imagine that..you write a memoir about your trials and tribulations in the literary world..and that ending up getting published. Your choice of title will be fun to pick.

 

[David Steele]

I give up writing every week. Whether I need to or not.

 

[Emurelda]

I've never been what anyone could call vain, arrogance just doesn't match my handbag.
In all seriousness, having been bullied for a lot of my childhood and teenage years, there's little anyone can say to me that will upset me. I'm not saying this for any sympathy or to say it's a good thing I got picked on, but it made me who I am and I don't care what others think of me. They don't know me.
Also I start with low expectations. Not that I start hoping to fail, but I know my work is good. Not great. I doubt I'll be the next Rowling or King. If I saw my book for sale in a 99p/c bin, I'd be happy.

Bullying doesn't end in childhood unfortunately. It continues into adulthood. You're right these experiences make us who we are. And it's not what's dished out at us it's what we cook it into

A story perchance?

 

[Emurelda]

I give up writing every week. Whether I need to or not.

Yep...my father gives up smoking after every cig. snubbed. And I'm on a diet in between meals

 

[Jason Byrne]

I give up writing every week. Whether I need to or not.

Only prudent.

 

[Jason Byrne]

Yep...my father gives up smoking after every cig. snubbed. And I'm on a diet in between meals

That is exactly why I vowed I would never quit smoking, until the day I actually quit smoking. After five years, that day came last November, and I set them down, switched to electronic vaporizers, and never picked up another. Now, I've stepped down to nicotine-free liquid, and 'vape' the nicotine-free only once a day. I'm using up my last 'tank,' and after that's gone I'm done with it all for good.

 

[Nicole Wilson]

That is exactly why I vowed I would never quit smoking, until the day I actually quit smoking. After five years, that day came last November, and I set them down, switched to electronic vaporizers, and never picked up another. Now, I've stepped down to nicotine-free liquid, and 'vape' the nicotine-free only once a day. I'm using up my last 'tank,' and after that's gone I'm done with it all for good.

Good for you. I hear that stuff is expensive too.

 

[Jason Byrne]

E-cigs? Not at all. I smoked an $8 pack of cigarettes every 2.5 days, at a cost in the DC area of about $96 a month. A bottle of liquid generally lasts me a full month, which is about $12. I got all of my equipment free via my wife's forays on Facebook Yard Sale, but they run about $80, so even if I had bought it at full price it would have paid for itself more than eight times over, by now.

The propelyne glycol that produces the 'mist' can release formaldehyde gas when atomized at high voltage with a risk of formaldehyde-related cancers approximately double that of cigarettes, but when the 6,000 chemicals in cigarettes are taken into account, 65 of them carcinogenic, it is still over 100-times safer. And with the voltage turned way down as I keep it, there are no known health risks whatsoever. And it causes none of the breathing problems cigarettes do. Within a month, I felt like an 80-pound (6 stone) weight had been lifted off me, when I was running.

 

[Nicole Wilson]

E-cigs? Not at all. I smoked an $8 pack of cigarettes every 2.5 days, at a cost in the DC area of about $96 a month. A bottle of liquid generally lasts me a full month, which is about $12. I got all of my equipment free via my wife's forays on Facebook Yard Sale, but they run about $80, so even if I had bought it at full price it would have paid for itself more than eight times over, by now.

The propelyne glycol that produces the 'mist' can release formaldehyde gas when atomized at high voltage with a risk of formaldehyde-related cancers approximately double that of cigarettes, but when the 6,000 chemicals in cigarettes are taken into account, 65 of them carcinogenic, it is still over 100-times safer. And with the voltage turned way down as I keep it, there are no known health risks whatsoever. And it causes none of the breathing problems cigarettes do. Within a month, I felt like an 80-pound (6 stone) weight had been lifted off me, when I was running.

Oh. Well you learn something new every day then

 

[Jason Byrne]

Oh. Well you learn something new every day then

Sorry, I have a pitch prepared, for when vape pens come up in conversation.

 

[Mark Odell]

We have to prepare for the possibility of people not liking our work and in the past, I have been known to take things personally. It is one of those moments where I am aware of how I have to toughen regarding criticism. You can't please people all the time but you also shouldn't underestimate the value of constructive criticism. I think it's finding that fine line where you learn something but also don't get so distraught that you never write again.

 

[Jason Byrne]

We have to prepare for the possibility of people not liking our work and in the past, I have been known to take things personally. It is one of those moments where I am aware of how I have to toughen regarding criticism. You can't please people all the time but you also shouldn't underestimate the value of constructive criticism. I think it's finding that fine line where you learn something but also don't get so distraught that you never write again.

I've made a habit of thanking someone for their critique, whether the critique was positive or negative. It actually helps soften the blow if what they had to say was scathing, and also helps you to take a serious look at their responses, if you've already thanked them for it.