Writing grief

[izi 出久]

Putting myself in the mood to write grief scenes. Is it strange that my favorite stories are the ones that portray grief so well that, not only am I upset about the inciting incident, but also I grieve with the characters?

Someone told me years ago the reason people are drawn to solo piano music is because the loneliness of the piece helps people to feel not alone. Like, something else is also alone, and we aren't alone in our loneliness (does that make sense?).

I think grief is the same way. To live with a person through a book and grieve and slowly begin to heal helps us heal from our grief. At least, those are my thoughts.

And finally, I give you this song that never fails to make me grieve and process.

 

[James Charles]

Putting myself in the mood to write grief scenes. Is it strange that my favorite stories are the ones that portray grief so well that, not only am I upset about the inciting incident, but also I grieve with the characters?

Someone told me years ago the reason people are drawn to solo piano music is because the loneliness of the piece helps people to feel not alone. Like, something else is also alone, and we aren't alone in our loneliness (does that make sense?).

I think grief is the same way. To live with a person through a book and grieve and slowly begin to heal helps us heal from our grief. At least, those are my thoughts.

And finally, I give you this song that never fails to make me grieve and process.

You want your readers to grieve with your characters. Don't you still cry when watching Bambi?

 

[izi 出久]

You want your readers to grieve with your characters. Don't you still cry when watching Bambi?

I do!!!

I also cried buckets at the end of Mockingjay. Katniss being catatonic for weeks really resonated with me.

 

[izi 出久]

I agree that it should be the goal, but often I read books where the writers perhaps just expect us to grieve from the incident itself. That rarely happens for me. The way the revelation of grief is what draws me in.

Also. The Lion King.

 

[Hannah Faoileán]

I defy you not to cry.

 

[izi 出久]

I defy you not to cry.

That second verse onward. Shit.

 

[Hannah Faoileán]

That second verse onward. Shit.

& BTW, I want the guy in the video!

 

[izi 出久]

& BTW, I want the guy in the video!

He's an attractive man. Can't deny it.

 

[izi 出久]

This video is the most accurate depiction of despair that I've ever come across. They say god is in the details, and god is in the snot coming out of her nose. And the way she falls. But heavy suicide theme, so don't watch if you don't want to see that.

 

[RK Wallis]

I have this tab constantly open: Five Tips for Writing Tears that Carry Power | Writers In The Storm

 

[Dorm Ant]

Whatever you do, please avoid this, or a variation on it: She touched her cheek - it was wet. She realised she was crying.

I have seen that so many times, in unpublished stories and it grinds my gears! Tears sting! You realise you are crying when you feel that stinging sensation and then, if you don't fight to suppress it, the tears come.

Rant over.

 

[izi 出久]

Ha. Nope. Nobody doesn't realize they're crying. It's a pretty sharp feeling.

 

[izi 出久]

if you don't fight to suppress it, the tears come.

For me, fighting it generally leads to more. But yes. Quite distinct feeling.

 

[Hannah Faoileán]

This video is the most accurate depiction of despair that I've ever come across. They say god is in the details, and god is in the snot coming out of her nose. And the way she falls. But heavy suicide theme, so don't watch if you don't want to see that.

I've learnt that snot coming out of your nose is because not all your tears come out. Some fall inwards and your tear ducts empty into your nose. Anyone who's pretending to cry - their nose doesn't run.

I always thought the devil was in the details.

 

[Hannah Faoileán]

Whatever you do, please avoid this, or a variation on it: She touched her cheek - it was wet. She realised she was crying.

I have seen that so many times, in unpublished stories and it grinds my gears! Tears sting! You realise you are crying when you feel that stinging sensation and then, if you don't fight to suppress it, the tears come.

Rant over.

But a couple of times I've woken and touched my cheek - it was wet. The pillow was wet. I realised I'd been crying in my sleep.

 

[izi 出久]

Anyone who's pretending to cry - their nose doesn't run.

I've definitely cried like her before. It's such a raw feeling. But yes, that is my (favorite?) part of the film because it becomes real.

I always thought the devil was in the details.

I'm cool with this revision. Devil it is.

 

[izi 出久]

But a couple of times I've woken and touched my cheek - it was wet. The pillow was wet. I realised I'd been crying in my sleep.

Fair. I've woken myself up from crying in my sleep.

 

[Hannah Faoileán]

I have this tab constantly open: Five Tips for Writing Tears that Carry Power | Writers In The Storm

I disagree with the author who wrote "only losers cry." I hope the character finds out, on her emotional journey that no, not only losers cry.

 

[Hannah Faoileán]

A blast from the past.

 

[Dorm Ant]

But a couple of times I've woken and touched my cheek - it was wet. The pillow was wet. I realised I'd been crying in my sleep.

That's a different thing to what I was rantin' aboot.

Anyway, you may have been drooling.

 

[Hannah Faoileán]

That's a different thing to what I was rantin' aboot.

Anyway, you may have been drooling.

I know. Just sayin'.
No. I remember my dream. Still.

 

[Hannah Faoileán]

 

[Dorm Ant]

There's one thing guaranteed to make me cry, and that's Attilla the Stockbroker's poem, The Long Goodbye, that he wrote for his mother.

When I've seen him perform it live, I just can't hold back.

 

[Hannah Faoileán]

There's one thing guaranteed to make me cry, and that's Attilla the Stockbroker's poem, The Long Goodbye, that he wrote for his mother.

When I've seen him perform it live, I just can't hold back.

For me it's Auden's Stop All the Clocks in Four Weddings and a Funeral.

 

[Hannah Faoileán]

That second verse onward. Shit.

I've just given myself an idea for book 2. It would mean two POVs (in two different worlds). I will lodge that thought in my subconscious brain and let it prove.