What drives you?

Amusement I found this today

Horrible Words!

Status
Not open for further replies.

ghuffman

Basic
Jan 8, 2019
Midwest US
I started writing because I was arrogant. I told my well-read aunt one day I was going to write a novel, about something or other. And made some quip that I could do it better. I mean, I think I was 17, or 19. Damn young. Naive.

She had cancer, and was dying. Of course, she didn't tell me that. In fact, not anyone. She read over my work, and smiled. She knew the road would be long, and one day, after her sickness became too obvious to hide, she told me that I needed a wordsmith. She wanted to help, to be that wordsmith, but said she didn't have the time. I think that was her way of saying, you aren't ready, and I'm dying.

She gave me books, instead. "Read these", she said.

I didn't, not for a long time. In my twenties, I wrote, but she was gone, so it became a hobby, a second thought. Bills needed paying, and I had the hard skills to do that. But one of my life goals, and a promise I made to my wife, was to write a book. That seemed like a tough goal, something worthy of a lifetime. And it was. Hilariously, when I started at 19, I thought it would only take a few months. How hard could it be?

In my thirties, I've gotten serious about writing. I have a career, it pays well. I try not to buy into the notion that there's no money in writing novels, not unless you're gifted or very lucky. But it's usually both, I suppose, the more I learn. The feeling I get after a writing session, though, it isn't the same as after an American hard day's work. The writing, the revision, the story. It fills me up, helps plug holes inside me I didn't know I had.

So in my mid-thirties, one day I said the hell with it, this is the year. I threw off my pride and rose colored glasses and picked up those books my aunt told me to read. I strapped in, a la The War of Art. I didn't know it then, but I was acting like a professional. I wrote six days a week for a year. I cranked out those 140k words. I have the grey hair to prove it. Soon after, I examined my goal and realized it no longer served me, it wasn't forcing me to improve. I changed it to publish my novel.

Well hell, that changes everything doesn't it? Standards, tough ones, come into the equation; other human beings. Rejection. Judgement. I can't hide away, I have to show this work to people. And for me, I have to publish this book. I think the reasons are obvious: a debt to pay back, a dedication that needs written. So I go around and around, drafting and drafting, revising. I don't know if this work is commercially interesting, but I love the process, and even after all of these years, this story compels me to come back, to keep on keeping on. In short - the hubris, can you imagine! - I believe the world would be a richer place with this story, even if just by a little.

My questions for you: Do you believe the same about your stories? Why do you write? Can you put words to the way it makes you feel? What drives you to come back to that blank page time after time?
 
The Chauffeur of Doom, usually, and he's usually drunk.
Nice post, by the way; your aunt sounds lovely. What books did she give you?
 
The Chauffeur of Doom, usually, and he's usually drunk.
Nice post, by the way; your aunt sounds lovely. What books did she give you?

Thanks, and god rest her, she was usually as well.

Carr, the Alienist (i think because of his quick descriptions and grimier topics)
The Hobbit (world building, large scope, fantasy elements?)
Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (douglas adams, that has to be the reason)

I'll have to ask her the why on the other side, those are my guesses.
 
I similarly came back to writing after a gap (six years). I was also arrogant and naïve; I thought I'd get my novel written and published within six months! 18 months later, I'm still toiling away on it.

Sometimes I hate it, but on those late nights when the words are rolling out and the scene is a pure vision; it's utter ecstasy.

Then in the morning, I open up the laptop, read the masterpiece of the night and think... need to rewrite this.
 
I similarly came back to writing after a gap (six years). I was also arrogant and naïve; I thought I'd get my novel written and published within six months! 18 months later, I'm still toiling away on it.

Sometimes I hate it, but on those late nights when the words are rolling out and the scene is a pure vision; it's utter ecstasy.

Then in the morning, I open up the laptop, read the masterpiece of the night and think... need to rewrite this.

Ecstasy. I've felt that. What is that? The feeling of creation? Is that what makes it feel so good? I often wonder. It's almost like a drug, that deep flow state...
 
Although I did a lot of magazine article writing in the 1970s and 1980s, I prevented myself from writing creatively thereafter, largely because I thought it self-indulgent.

I turned to doing jobs that improved things, for people and buildings and vehicles. I'm a big believer in the dissemination of information, to help people through life, which was why I trained as a teacher, librarian and counsellor...and why I'd written factual articles.

It took a protracted period of depression from 2009-2013 for my brain cells to gang up on me by hurling out ideas for short stories, poems and songs, even while I was asleep. I've always been an avid reader and believed I had the gift of the gab to write well enough to entertain people. Also, the hands of time are very effective as a motivator to get on with things! I didn't want to be laying on my death bed thinking, "I'm really glad that I didn't write those novels about a Cornish Detective that I had so many ideas about."

I'm glad that I sat down and immersed myself in words. I'm a quote machine, and I found three that sum up how I feel about being a writer:

The act of writing is an act of optimism. You would not take the trouble to do it if you felt that it didn't matter.
Edward Albee

Writing is the only thing that, when I do it, I don't feel like I should be doing something else.
Gloria Steinem

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
Anaïs Nin

Writing is joyful to me. If only I could feel the same way about editing and crawling to querying literary agents! :rolleyes:
 
on those late nights when the words are rolling out and the scene is a pure vision; it's utter ecstasy.

I think @Robert M Derry summarised it better than I could. There is something addictive with creativity and the moment of making an idea real and tactile (I'm not sure that's the right word, but I can't think of anything else to explain it).

I used to be massively into drawing and painting, but I would grow frustrated when the finished product didn't match my "vision" or couldn't tell the complete story I had in my head. I found words worked better for me (quicker too).
 
What drives me?

Certainly the euphoria of being "in the zone" when creating. Other than that, I love discovering details that get lost in the bigger history that most people settle on. When I read about an historical event I look for the minor characters who may have supported the main subject. For example, I read about the expedition ships that supplied specimens for what eventually became the Smithsonian Institute in Washington, D.C. One of the ships ran aground and the crew members were saved by a slave from another ship in the flotilla. One sentence about this person. Who was he? What country was he from originally? How did he get onto one of those ships? What happened to him after the expedition was over? There was an artist on board. Perhaps the artist painted the slave. Maybe that painting exists today. Maybe I'll make it exist in my novel and incorporate it into my plot.

I do the same with current events and people. Real people who would make great characters in a book because they aren't doing what is expected. While most people think all pro sports athletes tend to spend their free time getting arrested, clubbing, or playing golf, I zoomed in on the pro ball player who obtained a PhD from MIT while still playing pro football. Or the pro player who was allowed to fly back to Canada to attend his graduation with a Masters degree from McGill the day before an important game. Or the pro basket ball player who uses his money to open schools. The well-known actor who sometimes portrays dizzy women characters but who has a PhD in mathematics and promotes women in science and math careers. The trauma center doctor who sings in a punk band. My mother, before she retired, was a hospital administrator and had a staff member who was both a nun and a professional clown. Lots of people have layers that don't fit in to the generalizations that are made about certain groups. That's where the interesting stuff is.

There is a lot going on around the globe. Governments are shaky, people are responding. Hmmm, let me research what started that war or how that dictator became the ruler of that country. Going back as far as I need to, I often find one minor person who was the trigger and who was forgotten over time, or an event that in the grand scheme of things was the butterfly flapping its wings. There are lots of story ideas to mine from around the globe.

My challenge to myself is to bring out the buried details of history in a way that drives my story in order for the reader to learn something new and interesting. The type of writing I want to produce forces me to look beyond the surface and I find that satisfying. And fun. And a delightful change from my day job of writing tech policies.
 
Although I did a lot of magazine article writing in the 1970s and 1980s, I prevented myself from writing creatively thereafter, largely because I thought it self-indulgent.

I turned to doing jobs that improved things, for people and buildings and vehicles. I'm a big believer in the dissemination of information, to help people through life, which was why I trained as a teacher, librarian and counsellor...and why I'd written factual articles.

It took a protracted period of depression from 2009-2013 for my brain cells to gang up on me by hurling out ideas for short stories, poems and songs, even while I was asleep. I've always been an avid reader and believed I had the gift of the gab to write well enough to entertain people. Also, the hands of time are very effective as a motivator to get on with things! I didn't want to be laying on my death bed thinking, "I'm really glad that I didn't write those novels about a Cornish Detective that I had so many ideas about."

I'm glad that I sat down and immersed myself in words. I'm a quote machine, and I found three that sum up how I feel about being a writer:

The act of writing is an act of optimism. You would not take the trouble to do it if you felt that it didn't matter.
Edward Albee

Writing is the only thing that, when I do it, I don't feel like I should be doing something else.
Gloria Steinem

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
Anaïs Nin

Writing is joyful to me. If only I could feel the same way about editing and crawling to querying literary agents! :rolleyes:

I'm with Gloria Steinem. But writing is also what I've done all my working life; I have occasionally felt that I would have done (at least some of) it free, gratis and for nothing.
 
I just like making shit up. Always have done ever since I was a kid. Writing is how I get my kicks. Cannot even pretend to have any particular desire to change the world nor really care that much about the various injustices that exist within it and certainly would never even begin to kid myself, let alone anybody else, that I write because I want my words to make a difference. Probably my writing is the most selfish part of my life because I do it strictly for my own entertainment and gratification. If other enjoy it, then smashing, and if they want to pay me money for the pleasure of doing so, then even better. But I primarily write because it is my only real hobby, other than reading or watching the TV. I like stories, both as a consumer and as a creator.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Amusement I found this today

Horrible Words!

Back
Top