Help! Inner thoughts... Any thoughts?

Print Your Own Book

Steven Pressfield's Writing Blog

Status
Not open for further replies.
J

Jennifer Stone

Guest
Ok guys, I know there are a few ways to deal with this. Italics are one, speech marks are another, or both.
For those not acquainted with my ms, there is a fair bit of telepathic communication, for which I used italics to begin with. This led to an over-use, so I changed the font to differentiate between the voices.
I'm not talking about inner monologues or passing thoughts, I've used italics for these. The other parts of this story have italics for telepathic speech, as it's much more sparse, so I don't want to confuse my readers from part 1 to 2 & 3.
I've consulted other forums for help and they said to go with italics, but I'm not sure.

What say you, my literary brethren? To italicize or not?
 
Well, it sounds like you're switching between italics and font changes to denote telepathy, and I'm not so sure about that one. Whatever you choose, it needs to be consistent throughout. Let me try this out...

"Hang on," he said, and reached out telepathically,
Where are you?
On my way.

"He's on his way," he said. We've heard that before, he left unsaid. What a mess.

Yeah, I think that works pretty well, actually! But if the character is speaking, only within their head and to his or herself, I would italicize it. If they're thinking, but you don't need to convey their voice with the thought, and it's more narration colored by their thoughts, don't italicize.
 
It comes down to house style most of the time. I've seen it done with italics and speech marks, and with italics only. The only thing I would caution against is using dialogue tags with internal speech. They're not necessary because by highlighting it, your readers know it's internal thought. No need to tell them it's left unsaid, or anything similar. That's implied.
 
It comes down to house style most of the time. I've seen it done with italics and speech marks, and with italics only. The only thing I would caution against is using dialogue tags with internal speech. They're not necessary because by highlighting it, your readers know it's internal thought. No need to tell them it's left unsaid, or anything similar. That's implied.

Yep - listen to the expert.
 
I've read part 1 of @Jennifer Stone work. The increased font (it wasn't a lot, just enough to set it off from the rest) when the Gods were talking to the priestess was different and it added something to it. You could tell from the font that one of the Gods was talking and I expected it to be larger than normal. I'd expect any God to be larger than normal. I agree, though, that it will probably have to be changed to the publishing house standard (so much more the pity).

I have a lot in my ms as well. In my research, House standard was stressed, but it was something they don't usually post. You have to physically look at how the books are printed. What I did was to Italicize thoughts not voiced without quotes. The telepathic conversations, I quoted and Italicized. I know it will probably have to be changed, but at this point, it helps me to keep it all straight.
 
Oooh I did telapathic communication following speech rules i.e. new thinker new line, but I put the text in italics, enclosed in single quotation marks. (sorry can't do an example on my phone.)
It set it aside from speech, but with being in the marks it didn't get lost in the text, especially if it was just an odd word.
I don't remember who it was I read, I want to say L.J Smith, but it probably wasn't, who used the same style.
I read a lot, so I adopted the method I preferred to read.
 
Flashbacks, that's a good thing to mention! I do that as well. Or remembering what someone said in a dream. I like the way it conveys the soundless sort of way that you remember it. Like this:

You’ve been through all this before training for the wars, Geoff had said.
Yep
, Nessán had answered. The shutters of the manor hall had been open, a hot, listless breeze of the stagnant summer day drifting through occasionally. Alyn wiped the beads of sweat from his flushed face, springing in a few short jumps in place.
So I’m the only one here that doesn’t know what he’s doing, Alyn had said.
Yep, Nessán had said again.
Alright, you want to go through it once without resistance, and then try it for real? Geoff had said, and Alyn nodded, stepping back into position.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Print Your Own Book

Steven Pressfield's Writing Blog

Back
Top