Doubt & The Writer

[Paul Whybrow]

All of writing is full of doubt. We journey along a lonely trail, beaten by phantom pillows that come out of nowhere, making us agonise over such trivial things as which font to use, should there be a comma there, and is that word one word or is it hyphenated or even two separate words?

When it comes to larger issues, such as deciding on the theme of your story, pondering whether that would appeal to readers, then you're entering fortune-telling territory. Apart from the blows that sap your ego, it's easy to stray into booby trap territory. Giving yourself leeway over plots is a wise attitude to have from the outset, for after all, there are only so many stories that can be told, but what about details you think are original? In a fit of apprehension, I checked that my protagonist detective Neil Kettle's name hadn't been previously used in a crime series I'd never heard of, pleased to find it was mine alone. Mind you, with the lack of perception that sometimes envelops me, in my WIP I only twigged that I'd called one character Mungo and another Bengo 70,000 words into writing the story. Typical Cornish young men, one was a surfer, the other a scuba diver. I felt like an idiot for not noticing the similarity of their names, realising that that in itself was the solution—I made them cousins—doubt evaporated!

As for finding anything certain to believe in, when it comes to the totally imponderable side of publishing that actually decides the fate of my book, it feels to me like forcing myself into a warehouse stuffed from floor to rafters, with the very pillows of doubt that have been biffing me about as I wrote the manuscript. I can't see which way to go, and all I can do is tackle what is in front of me at the moment, eviscerating various pillows to find a load of largely irrelevant stuffing about blogging, tweeting and the best way to crawl to query a literary agent. Should I return to self-publishing, (which I first did in 2014), even though it feels like emptying a bucket of water into an ocean of other eBooks?

The weird thing is, that even successfully published authors who've made a decent living from their work are still stricken with doubt. As dogmatic as ever, Ernest Hemingway said a couple of things that acknowledge his own and all of our uncertainties:

“We are all apprentices in a craft where no one ever becomes a master.”

“The first draft of anything is shit."

Humourist Robert Benchley was just as honest:

"It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn’t give it up because by that time I was too famous."

Sylvia Plath rationalised:

“And by the way, everything in life is writeable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.”

Brian Patten wrote an enchanting love poem called Doubt Shall Not Make An End Of You, whose opening lines I sometimes recall when faced with doubt about the progress of my WIP and what will happen to my Cornish Detective series:

Doubt shall not make an end of you
nor closing eyes lose your shape
when the retina's light fades;
what dawns inside me will light you.

I console myself by remembering that I've got this far in my writing by determination and whatever glimmer of talent I have; I can go further, even though I'm unsure of the direction to take. It's up to me to illuminate my stories by using my imagination, dragging them out into the light for others to see.

Essentially, doubt is a cloud on the horizon. Sure, it may rain on you a bit, but what if it blows away to reveal the sun?

Blimey, I've just this moment realised that I'm channelling the spirit of 1969 era Joni Mitchell!

How do you handle doubt?

(It's a writer's companion, not their enemy)

 

[Rich.]

How do you handle doubt?

Well, I'm not really sure. I mean, well, sometimes I... I... But that doesn't always work, so... so... Wow, this is hard. I mean, doubt... it's like... it's like... I just can't decide!

I think I need a lie down.

 

[Emily]

I freak myself out for a couple of hours, and then think "Feck it" and forget about it. Practically-speaking, I meditate, even do a few minutes of yogic breathing to bring you back into yourself. Because doubt is fear, and when you give wings to doubt it breeds fear, and then you spiral deeper and become less creative and everything becomes smudgy and shitty. I *love* listening to Thich Nhat Hanh on Youtube (living mindfully), it's kind of glorious. For me, it's staying in that space where I don't allow doubt and fear and stress to creep in because once they put a foot in, they tend to seep into my consciousness. In my advancing age, I'm realising that it's all about being in this very present moment and that takes care of the past and the future quite beautifully

 

[Robinne Weiss]

When in doubt, I surf the job ads ... Applying for one today, in fact.

 

[Quillwitch]

When in doubt, I surf the job ads ... Applying for one today, in fact.

Good luck, Robinne. I´m in the middle of being hired.

 

[Magicman]

I had to look up the definition of doubt. It's not in my vocabulary day-to-day.

Definition of doubt - a feeling of uncertainty or lack of conviction.

I know when my activity, be it writing, woodworking, cutting minerals or anything else is going well or poorly. I'm a perfectionist by nature and had to learn how to stop when it was good enough. I also know when it's time to stop and write-off an activity and start anew.

I tell others - when in doubt - make a decision and proceed. The future is whatever you make of it. The past won't change.

Hemingway and Benchley are right, on the climb up the ladder of knowledge, the top rung becomes more distant the higher you climb. Been there.

Bob

 

[Rich.]

I quite like uncertainty. How dull would the world be if everything were certain? What would we do with our curiosity?

And as for lack of conviction, firmly held opinions are all well and good as long as they stay on the flexible side of dogma.

I may be wrong (though my conviction says otherwise).

 

[Magicman]

I quite like uncertainty. How dull would the world be if everything were certain? What would we do with our curiosity?

And as for lack of conviction, firmly held opinions are all well and good as long as they stay on the flexible side of dogma.

I may be wrong (though my conviction says otherwise).

Dough is a powerful word, with significant negative connotations. Take a quick glance at synonyms for uncertainty and add feelings to those and you get - a precarious condition that can only lead to mental turmoil which can lead to many other negative things. I see nothing wrong with uncertainty - nothing in life is certain - a bridge (like in Italy) can collapse, your brakes could fail, you could die today or live until your ungodly old. If your feelings tell you the bridge might collapse, what do you do?

Feelings of uncertainty create confusion and that leads to bad decisions more often than not. I doubt I can build a treehouse fort for the kids - it never gets built. I doubt that bridge will hold my weight - you don't use it. Doubt stops the individual from thinking clearly, weighing the options, making the best choice even if it isn't a good choice. Doubt puts you into neutral, not moving forward or back.

To me, doubt is a wonderful word for a writer - put doubt in our characters profile and the story spins out of control, kicking the characters when they are down - hmmm, isn't that what makes a good story? Doubt in our abilities as writer is a no-no. I know the next novel won't be good enough to pitch. Why write it? Because when I write with the intent of improving my skill, there's a good chance that will happen. Eventually, I know I will reach a level where I can produce a novel worth the effort of the submission process. Until then, I spend my time productively learning the art of writing rather than spending it on submitting and promoting something not worthy.

Lack of conviction is a politically correct alternative to using doubt. He has a lack of conviction in his abilities, that's why he's on the street playing the guitar. He certainly did doubt his abilities.

Bob

 

[Magicman]

Uncertainty is the impetus to fall in love and certainty is the product of love. Does that work? Uncertainty and doubt draw you out to look at new things and certainty causes the fear/love to dissipate. Curiosity is passion is love. If you are certain that you are a good writer, that will kill your curiosity, passion, and love for the thing.

I think you have a few things confused. Curiosity drives us to investigate new things or people. Familiarity after learning about the things to which our curiosity drew us can steer emotions toward love, hate or complacency. It's curiosity that draws you out and uncertainty and doubt that holds you back. And, you should never be certain that you are a good writer (or anything else). You can only strive to be better - that's what creates passion. Passion can lead to any emotion depending on what has been learned.

 

[Rich.]

Uncertainty is the impetus to fall in love and certainty is the product of love. Does that work?

I think it does. I heard of a study -- presented in a TED talk -- that said something like couples who still make each other laugh at 50 have the highest chance of reporting a loving relationship at 80, regardless of how much they apparently bicker. I liked how your comment on love and certainties seemed open to interpretation.

 

[Rich.]

Dough is a powerful word, with significant negative connotations.

It makes good pizza though.

But seriously, in some contexts I think you're right. But equally, doubt has positive connotations when it questions, for example, dubious facts, questionable testimony, or ignorant prejudice.

Feelings of uncertainty create confusion and that leads to bad decisions more often than not.

I'm not sure I agree with more often than not, for the reasons I've laid out above.

Doubt puts you into neutral, not moving forward or back.

Again, I think it depends on the context. Doubt can be a powerful force for moving you in a new direction. Whether or not that direction is positve or negative is probably determined by other factors.

To me, doubt is a wonderful word for a writer - put doubt in our characters profile and the story spins out of control, kicking the characters when they are down - hmmm, isn't that what makes a good story?

One of the things, yes, I agree.

Doubt in our abilities as writer is a no-no.

I'm not sure about this one. Doubt is profoundly human. To negate it by force of will strikes me as rather unhealthy.

Lack of conviction is a politically correct alternative to using doubt. He has a lack of conviction in his abilities, that's why he's on the street playing the guitar. He certainly did doubt his abilities.

I'm not really sure what you mean by Lack of conviction is a politically correct alternative to using doubt, but the chap playing guitar may simply have had bad luck or have made choices that fall outside the conventional. Equally, perhaps his doubt did put him on the street, but I feel your example suggests that Be the best you can! is all there is to it. Forgive me, but I can't help but feel that's a somewhat simplistic view.

 

[Carol Rose]

Doubt is a normal human response. We learn it at a young age. If it develops in a pathologic or unhealthy environment, we don't trust our own instincts or even our own senses. We don't believe in our innate gifts. We don't trust the things people say to us.

If it develops in a healthy environment where we're encouraged to question, to dig deeper, to trust, we learn that doubt is our mind's way of suggesting we look at another side. We question a process for the sake of exploring whether there might not be a better way, or a more efficient way. We revise our strategy for obtaining our goals based on new information or the need to re-prioritize. We research something further so as not to get burned, hurt, or scammed.

Doubt in a writer isn't always a bad thing. Like someone already said, it depends on the context. The doubt that nagged me for a couple of years now has led to a revision of my writing career goals, and the results are empowering, enlightening, and hold the promise of wonderful things for me. If I hadn't listened to that voice of doubt, I wouldn't be where I am right now.

By the way ... Joni Mitchell's cover of Both Sides Now is one of my favorites.

 

[Magicman]

I like trying to derive human emotion from first principles. It is all very Socratic. I decided that fear=love=passion=curiosity=doubt. The physical symptoms of all of these things are the same, but how we interpret them is determined by external factors. Per your definitions, there is some internal modifier which distinguishes doubt from curiosity. Negative and positive. Backward and forward. But what is forwards? Stasis vs. change. Creation vs. destruction. One must first destroy something in order to create something new, so, with respect to these words, I guess I am a relativist and you are an absolutist. You see doubt as friction and I see it inverted as well - like Joni Mitchell - from both sides. Often when doubt holds you back, that is self-love protecting you.

I find there are subtle differences in your equated words.
Fear - I don't want to know more.
Love - I want more.
Passion - I want a lot more.
Curiosity - I'm not sure if I want more so I'll investigate.
Doubt - I'm not sure if I want more but I'm not sure I want to know more.

My time is limited, ATM. As to relativist or absolutist. I'm relatively absolute that my opinions are in constant flux - everyday I learn more things. Those things teach me that every day the world is in flux. What is good today may be bad tomorrow or very good. Situations always have more than one side and we will never perceive both sides or all sides. I believe we should always have an open mind and ability to revise our beliefs.

Gotta go.

Bob

 

[Rachel Caldecott]

Feeling very doubtful myself right now. Mainly, have I overworked my WIP and killed it? Did I listen to many peoples' advice and change and rechange too much? Why the hell can't I write?... and so on.

 

[Magicman]

Feeling very doubtful myself right now. Mainly, have I overworked my WIP and killed it? Did I listen to many peoples' advice and change and rechange too much? Why the hell can't I write?... and so on.

it sounds like decision time. Set the WIP aside. Review the edit process. What did you learn? Then - start a new story. When that one is done, you can return to the current WIP.

Smiles
Bob - Don't doubt - do.

 

[Amber]

Self-doubt is different than continually trying to improve your writing.

 

[Katie-Ellen]

I don't much doubt Socrates was a nitwit- a very vain nitwit, but certainty is stasis. Life is uncertain. Some folk struggle so hard with this fact of life, they insist on certainties and also that everyone else must agree on what these are. These are the fundamentalists.

 

[Amber]

I like how you framed the distinctions in terms of knowledge and intent relative to a single point which defines an absolute frame of reference at a single, limited moment in time. I will try to reduce it further.

Hate - I'm very sure I don't want to know more.
Fear - I'm sure I don't want to know more.
Doubt - I'm not sure that I want to know more.
Curiosity - I pretty sure that I want to know more.
Love - I'm sure I want to know more.
Passion - I'm very sure I want to know more.

But with multiple or moving points of reference, that is when we have to deal with Joni Mitchell's both sides. A moving or oscillating point of reference can be both hated and loved over the same timestep and if the future is uncertain, at a single moment, they can all be the same emotion. In a non-deterministic universe, you can only label the emotions in retrospect, but not in a given moment.

Psychologists and philosophers describe these words differently and there's more than one new thought group that believes love and fear are all that exist. Which I bring up only as sort of ... an anecdote... I'm not interested in having that particular discussion ever again.

M Scott Peck does a pretty good job of describing the difference between love and passion, if you're interested. He uses the work of Greek philosophers as his basis. It's a modern mashup. Well... modern from like ... 30 years ago or so.

Mostly, I believe we don't know.

I will quibble with the lack of possibilities in your definition. Lots of people are at least curious about hate, fear, doubt and other negative emotions/states.