Do you ever feel overwhelmed by your own story?

[Malaika]

I'm dealing with a near constant state of anxiety with my WIP. I've never felt quite this way about a story before. Which initially I took as a good thing. But this is so violent. One day I feel ecstatic about it and write 3000 words like there's a muse on my back (that has never happened to me before) and then I spend the rest of the week agonizing about whether it's all a waste. I have never been so unproductive. I agonize about this story, will anyone understand it? is there a market for this? Am I the only person who will ever like this story??

I feel totally overwhelmed by the scope of the ever growing plot in my head. Is this normal? I have never felt this way about my writing before. Also, side problem. I am also simultaneously totally obsessed with the story and struggle immensely to focus on writing anything else (assignments for my course). What is happening to me?
What should I do? I don't like feeling this way at all.

 

[RK Wallis]

Do some loose planning, that can help you focus on what's working and what's not (even if you're a pantser, you don't have to stick with the plan). Usually, I structure scenes with a Goal, a Conflict and a Setback but now I've added 3 more considerations. 1 is new information revealed 2 is the plot moved forward 3. is the reader pulled through?

After I did this I finished the last of my novel and went from painful 300 words a day to excited 2000 words a day (with one hand, imagine what you could do with two!). And this thanks to this book.

But I think our expectations make writing overwhelming (I certainly have moments but I try no to go there).

 

[Dan Payne]

And this thanks to this book.

Thanks for that recommendation! I've picked it up (<$4 on Kindle) and even just the first section looks both self-obvious and amazingly valuable. A lot of it seems to be stuff we sort of know, but neglect anyway.

 

[Malaika]

Do some loose planning, that can help you focus on what's working and what's not (even if you're a pantser, you don't have to stick with the plan). Usually, I structure scenes with a Goal, a Conflict and a Setback but now I've added 3 more considerations. 1 is new information revealed 2 is the plot moved forward 3. is the reader pulled through?

After I did this I finished the last of my novel and went from painful 300 words a day to excited 2000 words a day (with one hand, imagine what you could do with two!). And this thanks to this book.

But I think our expectations make writing overwhelming (I certainly have moments but I try no to go there).

Thank you for the recommendation. I'm going to check out that book.

 

[KG Christopher]

I think highs and lows go with any creative path you choose to follow. You only have to see any number of films or read any artistic biographies to appreciate how artists struggle (Note to self: Ask for a film review of Birdman).

If you look at the colony, there are many aspiring writers who are still working on an un-finished project, sometimes putting the effort down for a number of weeks, months or even years. I imagine many of these writers could describe their writing experience as a journey, and all journeys are personal.

Probably the best tool you could use to organise your work - without feeling overwhelmed - is a note pad and pencil. I have one rule of thumb which is to put the date in the top left hand corner of my notepads, so if nothing else I can chronologically follow my thought / plot process.

Also, its very important (at least for me) to know when to STOP. just get up, go for a stroll, water the dog, kick the roses, and move away from the problem you imagine - your writing journey should not make you sick.

Its funny how you imagine a muse as sitting on your back? I imagine a muse as something out of reach, hidding behind a tree, and more often than not, when I try and grab it - she slips out of my fingers with a laugh and flies off somewhere else (thinking of the classical Muse / Nymph structure)...But, when you do catch you muse, hold on tight.

@Carol Rose a few years ago made a lovely post on writing - not for the money, but for the love - I cant find it on the site, I shall keep looking.

I think day jobs are what you do so you can indulge in writing into the small hours.

 

[Carol Rose]

I think perhaps you simply need to put the story aside for a while. Sometimes we need distance to gain perspective. Work on something else for now. Your muse will guide you back to it if and when it's time to work on it again.

 

[Barbara]

I'm dealing with a near constant state of anxiety with my WIP.

Yep. I've been there. Not now, but it's there, waiting to strike again.

I feel totally overwhelmed by the scope of the ever growing plot in my head.

Yep. I'm still there. It feels like an ever growing spider's web which I have to move intact to a different shed while the gales are blowing.

My WIP too feels too big for me to handle at times. It's a complex story and the protagonist is in a mess. When I started it, I just had a beginning and an end plus some ideas for in between. I got into a mud. I had to do something. So I sat down the other day, got my logical side of my brain into action, made a rough outline, added a bit to the outline, and now it's a lot easier. Yes, I agree with RK Capps. You might want to plot a bit more. And on paper, not in your head! It's very different. I was a pantser. I'm now a pantser sitting on a plot plan. I haven't turned into a plotter as such, but I do place signposts according to the MCs character arch and where he needs to be when. I now make conscious decisions of what is best to happen when and why.

will anyone understand it? Am I the only person who will ever like this story??

I've stopped worrying about this yonks ago. There's no point. Some readers will love it; some readers will hate it. It's not in our control as writers. Just write what you want to say int he best way you can say it.

is there a market for this?

I guess you have to ask yourself how commercial you want it to be. I've only recently admitted to myself that some genres have 'ingredients' and that if I want to sell it, I have to respect that and add those ingredients. The first book I wrote didn't fit anywhere and I haven't managed to sell it. It's in a drawer waiting for the day it might fit. I used to pants. I started my current WIP via pantsing, sort of. I had no idea of genre. Now I know it's a psychological thriller and once I accepted that, it became a ton easier to write because these 'ingredients' gave me a framework, if that makes sense. Giving in to genre and writing for it, means I have to plot to a degree in order to design these ingredients.

Stuff you might want to ask yourself:

Are you too close to it?

Are you trying to make something happen that doesn't work? Is there a plot problem? Mine had one. I tried to make a story strand happen that wasn't right for the story and once I admitted that to myself and let it go, the flow came back. Maybe you too need to let go of particular idea of what you want for the story then let the story flow naturally. You can still control it, but sometimes we need to give in to what our protagonists want, not what we want.

And finally, and it may sound simplistic:

Let go of the pressure you've put yourself under. This book might just be a slow, tricky book. Accept it for what it is. Accept its slowness. Accept that sometimes the muse flows and sometimes it doesn't; sometimes you're productive and other times you're not. Go with the flow. It's not a race. You have to story in your head. It's there. It might just be a bit slower to emerge.

 

[Susan]

I feel totally overwhelmed by the scope of the ever growing plot in my head. Is this normal? I have never felt this way about my writing before.

Yes, I felt like this in the past when I didn’t plot or only plotted the bare bones before beginning to write a story. Those stories overwhelmed me during both the first draft process and later while trying to knock them into shape.

Perhaps plotting isn’t for everyone, but it saves my sanity and I would never dream of starting another project without knowing exactly what I want each and every scene to achieve. That’s not to say scenes don’t end up being combined, dropped or shifted around, but knowing exactly where the story and characters are headed has transformed my writing.

 

[Paul Whybrow]

I've never understood the obsession many writers have with achieving a set word count each and every day. There's an awful lot of masochism involved in producing a story and beating yourself up for not achieving a daily word count is pointless. I agree with what @KG Christopher advises about taking a break. You sometimes need to get a different perspective on the WIP.

My motto has always been with writing: If it doesn't come naturally, leave it.

There are good reasons why you've been feeling anxious and experienced unproductive periods. You have to learn to trust the overall process. You rule—not the story—different recipes need different preparation and cooking methods, so embrace being adaptable.

Unless you're writing a commissioned piece, with a deadline, then everything that you write is speculative. This is true for any artist. Surveys of customers' ages, education and location may provide useful clues, but they aren't foolproof guides as to who your readers will be. The best thing to do is stay true to yourself, writing the best story you can. As Kurt Vonnegut suggested:

'Write to please just one person. If you open a window and make love to the world, so to speak, your story will get pneumonia.'

Having said all of that, it's true that writing is a glorious obsession that takes over your life, occupying waking and even sleeping thoughts. I have painful experience of this...I'd hazard a guess, that I may be the only author in the world to take broken his toe as a result of being affected by his WIP!

https://colony.litopia.com/threads/creativity-in-sleep.813/#post-10173

 

[Barbara]

There are good reasons why you've been feeling anxious and experienced unproductive periods. You have to learn to trust the overall process. You rule—not the story—different recipes need different preparation and cooking methods, so embrace being adaptable.

Love this, @Paul Whybrow.

And this:

Unless you're writing a commissioned piece, with a deadline, then everything that you write is speculative. This is true for any artist. Surveys of customers' ages, education and location may provide useful clues, but they aren't foolproof guides as to who your readers will be. The best thing to do is stay true to yourself, writing the best story you can.

 

[Carol Rose]

I've never understood the obsession many writers have with achieving a set word count each and every day. There's an awful lot of masochism involved in producing a story and beating yourself up for not achieving a daily word count is pointless. I agree with what @KG Christopher advises about taking a break. You sometimes need to get a different perspective on the WIP.

My motto has always been with writing: If it doesn't come naturally, leave it.

There are good reasons why you've been feeling anxious and experienced unproductive periods. You have to learn to trust the overall process. You rule—not the story—different recipes need different preparation and cooking methods, so embrace being adaptable.

Unless you're writing a commissioned piece, with a deadline, then everything that you write is speculative. This is true for any artist. Surveys of customers' ages, education and location may provide useful clues, but they aren't foolproof guides as to who your readers will be. The best thing to do is stay true to yourself, writing the best story you can. As Kurt Vonnegut suggested:

'Write to please just one person. If you open a window and make love to the world, so to speak, your story will get pneumonia.'

Having said all of that, it's true that writing is a glorious obsession that takes over your life, occupying waking and even sleeping thoughts. I have painful experience of this...I'd hazard a guess, that I may be the only author in the world to take broken his toe as a result of being affected by his WIP!

https://colony.litopia.com/threads/creativity-in-sleep.813/#post-10173

Very well-thought out post, @Paul Whybrow. I totally agree. As one who once wrote 5K a day or die, for a very long time, AND while working a full-time job outside the home, I can relate. And yes, I did it because of deadlines. But it was brutal and the writing showed. It was utter crap. I would love to go back and rewrite those books, even if I never published them again, only because I'm ashamed of what utter garbage they were because I was rushing so hard to finish them. Definitely not what I wanted to do when I announced at age eight that I was going to be a WRITER.

 

[Malaika]

Thank you everyone. This has all been so helpful. Particularly knowing I'm not alone in feeling this way.

I have always resisted writing an outline to my longer stories because I felt like it took something away from the creative process. I think that idea came from the very first novel I wrote which I had faithfully followed an outline for and then didn't realize the fatally (boring) flaw in the story until it was too late. When I look back on it now, I realize exactly what's wrong and I always wondered if I hadn't been forcing myself to get from a preplanned point A to point B if I wouldn't have realized the problems much sooner.

But I'm starting to completely rethink that belief. The problem wasn't that I outlined my first novel, the problem was I outlined it wrong. So I spent my writing time today putting a huge amount of effort into thinking about how my story will end. I hadn't let myself get there yet because I was so excited about how the story was beginning. I think I was actually afraid to confront the ending, a yawning black hole right in front of me, because I knew deep down if I can't think of an ending, I have to let the story go. So, that's the hard work then. And just accepting I guess that if I can't do it, that's it. Move on.

I'm the type of person that needs a lot of outside validation. That's the hardest part about writing for me. I have a hard time believing I'm doing something worthwhile if no one else is there telling me I am.

 

[Leonora]

I am a total obsessive, and full of self doubt. But the game changer for me was writing groups. It was a lightning bolt that enabled so much. Taking a break is only a help if you trust your own judgement. If you can't see the wood for the trees other people's eyes are invaluable. And now, having deployed an admirable number of clichés, I'll go back to brooding about my own manuscript...

 

[Tim James]

My motto has always been with writing: If it doesn't come naturally, leave it.

Totally agree with this. For me, I can't force it. If I try what comes out is dry and c**p, I have to wait for the inspiration to strike. When it does I can write continually, furiously for hours without a break, churning out a 1000 words an hour. All night if the muse is hot. I've just got to get it all down.
Other times I can go for weeks without writing a word of new stuff. Then I spend time on other things or editing.

As for is it worth it. For me that's not the point. I write it because I want to write it. Maybe someone will read it, maybe millions of people will read it (wouldn't that be nice?) but that's not the priority for me and not something I worry about while I'm writing.

And regarding the story "taking over", my view is go with it. Get the ideas down, even if it is only notes, let the plot ramble if you want, it can always be brought back into line later when you edit it. The thing is that the "heat" of an evolving story is what gives it drive, pushes the ideas and you on to great things. If it is all getting too much to handle, try to concentrate on one section at a time rather than holding all of it in your head in one go.

Not sure if I'm making much sense here but I hope this helps.

 

[Leonora]

I spent 18 months of my last novel staggering about in the dark till I came up with a proper plot. Then it took 6 months to finish. With my next novel, I want to avoid that. But would I have come up with the good plot I did, without the 18 months of pain? How much of what was good grew out of the organic process of exploration? I don't know. Guess I'll find out.

 

[Carol Rose]

Oh boy. This is coming from a serious pantser when I first started writing. And did it show. It was bad. Seriously bad. And I never completely understood or saw that until I started outlining and saw the difference in my own writing. AND until a few kind, loyal readers and authors pointed it out to me. Yeah. They did. And thank goodness they did because it was a HUGE eye-opener for me.

I HATED outlining. I mean HATED it. Felt it stifled my creativity, felt it was pointless because my characters almost always take me where they want to go, etc., etc., etc. But even a skeleton of an outline to act as a roadmap has become a huge help for me. I don't know if I'll ever be the kind of writer who outlines everything, chapter by chapter, scene by scene. But I do know that having a basic outline before I write has made a world of difference in terms of staying on track with character development, keeping character motivation consistent, and having a story arc that you know... goes somewhere.

 

[Tim James]

I have a different method to @Carol Rose. I have always started from the story idea first and then see where it leads. Very often I will have written 50 pages or so with only a very vague plot and possibly an ultimate destination in mind. Once I find the story has some legs then I might work on where it is going and what is going to happen. Usually the whole plot hasn't fully formed until I have written the ending.
Then I'll go back and "hone" it to a definite plot with the start-crisis-build-up-fall-back-climax-ending type story arc and expand/rework on any sub-plots that showed up.
I very rarely know the "whole story" before I start to write.
I guess that's "pantser" style writing, but it's the way I work. It can be chaotic and result in a lot of excised material, but hey-ho, that's life.'

 

[Tim James]

I spent 18 months of my last novel staggering about in the dark till I came up with a proper plot. Then it took 6 months to finish. With my next novel, I want to avoid that. But would I have come up with the good plot I did, without the 18 months of pain? How much of what was good grew out of the organic process of exploration? I don't know. Guess I'll find out.

Interesting insight, @Leonora .
I think that if I spent 2 years working exclusively on a single novel, I'd hate it so much by the end that I'd want to burn it. If I haven't completed a first draft within about 3 months of starting it, I'll give up on the idea and move on to something new. I guess that could be why I've got about 20 partial MSs lying about; projects I have started and then abandoned. But I do have several "finished" drafts in the draw too.
But every writer is different. Some can work on a single novel for 10 or more years, others can bash out several in one year.

 

[CageSage]

Oh boy. This is coming from a serious pantser when I first started writing. And did it show. It was bad. Seriously bad. And I never completely understood or saw that until I started outlining and saw the difference in my own writing. AND until a few kind, loyal readers and authors pointed it out to me. Yeah. They did. And thank goodness they did because it was a HUGE eye-opener for me.

I HATED outlining. I mean HATED it. Felt it stifled my creativity, felt it was pointless because my characters almost always take me where they want to go, etc., etc., etc. But even a skeleton of an outline to act as a roadmap has become a huge help for me. I don't know if I'll ever be the kind of writer who outlines everything, chapter by chapter, scene by scene. But I do know that having a basic outline before I write has made a world of difference in terms of staying on track with character development, keeping character motivation consistent, and having a story arc that you know... goes somewhere.

I think people hate outlining because they think it confines or restricts their creativity - but think of what a poet does with so few words and a defined shape! A whole world or sense or feeling or picture can be painted from that simple shape, or a complex pattern with only [how many?] syllables? Poetry is confined and defined by restriction, but within the restrictions come the most amazing and strong moments.
An outline isn't a harness, it isn't even a container. What it is may relate more closely to a mud-map, an idea about where the journey might go, but the map is not the journey, or it would be very boring indeed. Live the journey with the character as they fight to get what they need ... think like a poet, live like an adventurer (a young one, with strong legs).

 

[Carol Rose]

I think people hate outlining because they think it confines or restricts their creativity - but think of what a poet does with so few words and a defined shape! A whole world or sense or feeling or picture can be painted from that simple shape, or a complex pattern with only [how many?] syllables? Poetry is confined and defined by restriction, but within the restrictions come the most amazing and strong moments.
An outline isn't a harness, it isn't even a container. What it is may relate more closely to a mud-map, an idea about where the journey might go, but the map is not the journey, or it would be very boring indeed. Live the journey with the character as they fight to get what they need ... think like a poet, live like an adventurer (a young one, with strong legs).

Writing poems isn't the same as constructing an entire novel. Two entirely different animals, but I get what you're saying. They both have a certain skill set and are more hard work than people realize at first.

And no, an outline isn't a harness or a container. That's a great analogy. Thanks for that.

 

[Carol Rose]

But I think our expectations make writing overwhelming.

That's a good point about expectations. New writers go into this with all kinds of unrealistic expectations, and getting in a daily word count no matter what is usually one of them. I know plenty of people who do that, but I also know for a cold, hard fact that most of those people would rather have some down time once in a while. They're obsessed with it, and it's not a healthy obsession.

 

[Eva Ulian]

I've enjoyed reading all these comments. This post @Malaika came at the right time because I had been stuck on a scene for three days! Possibly my problem was that I don't have a well defined outline and where I got stuck was at an important scene which has come too early in the book and there is a gap between that scene and the rest of the book.

But what really stopped me from going on was lack of enthusiasm, discouragement, helplessness, depression... ah yes, writing is not at all an easy job. Having people like Litopians about restores a glimmer of hope in our otherwise depleted energies and the will to go on returns more fierce still.