Season's Greetings, assorted creative mortals!
As the title of this thread suggests, I had a Boxing Day that...did not go as I would have preferred. My intent, as with the day's traditions, is to switch station with someone in an appropriately polar opposite position to myself. Thus, I took time to prepare to take our own @AgentPete's place for a day.
To this end, I made several book deals for upcoming titles, including:
Ham: A Historical Picture Book
Leonardo da Vinci: Genius, or Just Lucky?
The Big Book of British Castles(' Wallpaper Designs)
Jack the Ripper: The Musical (audio book only)
Next step was...the shirt. After an infield cover proved frustratingly fragile, I managed to acquire an old blimp airbag and dye it in a rough approximation of a Pete shirt. Unfortunately, it burst into flames as I was landing in New Jersey while an onlooking reporter screaming into a microphone. Tragic, that.
Next up was speaking in a British affectation. I travelled to Britainland (NOT by blimp, this time) and tried a sample line to a passerby. The fellow oddly ran away screaming with his hands pressed over his ears, shouting something about "Van Dyke's Cockney". I remain baffled.
The next sample was again spoken to a random passing stranger, who mumbled something about "Keanu" and passed out at my feet.
A final attempt was made to a well-dressed old lady and her tall, officious-looking husband. They gave me oddly hostile looks, and I was attacked by some rather unpleasant men in red suits with very tall furry hats.
At the time I thought this frustration would be the nadir of my efforts. However, I had a terrible shock in store. In going over my notes. I realized that to truly take Pete's place, I would have to become...become...
[OldTimeyComicBookDrippyLetters]Veeeeeeeeggggaaaaaan[/OldTimeyComicBookDrippyLetters]
I howled and dove into the river, taking the time to smash a stylish clock in a tower on a nice old building nearby as I passed. You know, just out of spite.
Clearly this is not the way to go. Perhaps I should just stick to the holidays of my native land, such as Butter Day and the Rocket Chair Festival (Orthodox version).
Happy Holidays, Litopia.
As the title of this thread suggests, I had a Boxing Day that...did not go as I would have preferred. My intent, as with the day's traditions, is to switch station with someone in an appropriately polar opposite position to myself. Thus, I took time to prepare to take our own @AgentPete's place for a day.
To this end, I made several book deals for upcoming titles, including:
Ham: A Historical Picture Book
Leonardo da Vinci: Genius, or Just Lucky?
The Big Book of British Castles(' Wallpaper Designs)
Jack the Ripper: The Musical (audio book only)
Next step was...the shirt. After an infield cover proved frustratingly fragile, I managed to acquire an old blimp airbag and dye it in a rough approximation of a Pete shirt. Unfortunately, it burst into flames as I was landing in New Jersey while an onlooking reporter screaming into a microphone. Tragic, that.
Next up was speaking in a British affectation. I travelled to Britainland (NOT by blimp, this time) and tried a sample line to a passerby. The fellow oddly ran away screaming with his hands pressed over his ears, shouting something about "Van Dyke's Cockney". I remain baffled.
The next sample was again spoken to a random passing stranger, who mumbled something about "Keanu" and passed out at my feet.
A final attempt was made to a well-dressed old lady and her tall, officious-looking husband. They gave me oddly hostile looks, and I was attacked by some rather unpleasant men in red suits with very tall furry hats.
At the time I thought this frustration would be the nadir of my efforts. However, I had a terrible shock in store. In going over my notes. I realized that to truly take Pete's place, I would have to become...become...
[OldTimeyComicBookDrippyLetters]Veeeeeeeeggggaaaaaan[/OldTimeyComicBookDrippyLetters]
I howled and dove into the river, taking the time to smash a stylish clock in a tower on a nice old building nearby as I passed. You know, just out of spite.
Clearly this is not the way to go. Perhaps I should just stick to the holidays of my native land, such as Butter Day and the Rocket Chair Festival (Orthodox version).
Happy Holidays, Litopia.
