An...interesting Boxing Day

Ending the Year with a Deal Annoucement :)

42 Writing Contests in January 2021 - No entry fees

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Lex Black

Full Member
Aug 6, 2014
Season's Greetings, assorted creative mortals!

As the title of this thread suggests, I had a Boxing Day that...did not go as I would have preferred. My intent, as with the day's traditions, is to switch station with someone in an appropriately polar opposite position to myself. Thus, I took time to prepare to take our own @AgentPete's place for a day.

To this end, I made several book deals for upcoming titles, including:

Ham: A Historical Picture Book
Leonardo da Vinci: Genius, or Just Lucky?
The Big Book of British Castles(' Wallpaper Designs)
Jack the Ripper: The Musical (audio book only)

Next step was...the shirt. After an infield cover proved frustratingly fragile, I managed to acquire an old blimp airbag and dye it in a rough approximation of a Pete shirt. Unfortunately, it burst into flames as I was landing in New Jersey while an onlooking reporter screaming into a microphone. Tragic, that.

Next up was speaking in a British affectation. I travelled to Britainland (NOT by blimp, this time) and tried a sample line to a passerby. The fellow oddly ran away screaming with his hands pressed over his ears, shouting something about "Van Dyke's Cockney". I remain baffled.

The next sample was again spoken to a random passing stranger, who mumbled something about "Keanu" and passed out at my feet.

A final attempt was made to a well-dressed old lady and her tall, officious-looking husband. They gave me oddly hostile looks, and I was attacked by some rather unpleasant men in red suits with very tall furry hats.

At the time I thought this frustration would be the nadir of my efforts. However, I had a terrible shock in store. In going over my notes. I realized that to truly take Pete's place, I would have to become...become...


I howled and dove into the river, taking the time to smash a stylish clock in a tower on a nice old building nearby as I passed. You know, just out of spite.

Clearly this is not the way to go. Perhaps I should just stick to the holidays of my native land, such as Butter Day and the Rocket Chair Festival (Orthodox version).

Happy Holidays, Litopia.
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Ending the Year with a Deal Annoucement :)

42 Writing Contests in January 2021 - No entry fees