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Help Please! What do you think about this new title?

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Rachel Caldecott

Rachel Caldecott

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Thanks to @AgentPete I not only have to give myself a crash course in 'deep POV', but come up with a new title. Anyone who listened to the pop-up on Sunday will know what I'm talking about. Our dear leader spent quite a lot of time telling me what was wrong with the book title as it stands. "Rosendale Book I The Coalition series". Of course, whether I like it or not, Pete was right. It is damn boring. So, this morning I woke up thinking: The book is basically about a Utopian society which has developed from the ability to communicate between species. This in turn is due to a genetic mutation. But as the characters discover, there is not just one gene responsible for this inter-species telepathy. So, in order for the baddies to destroy the telepathy, they'd have to 'unravel' the whole genetic code.

My idea for a new title is: THE UNRAVELLING OF UTOPIA Book 1 Rosendale. What do you all think? Or shall I try again?
 
@Rachel Caldecott-Thornton :)

I don't know If you witnessed or watched my submission to Pete. I had the same problem I used the IMMORTAL GAMES SERIES THEN THE TITLE FLIGHT OF A SKYLARK.
I got rid of IMMORTAL GAMES SERIES. And thought, yes I'm writing a series, well have, but I'm gonna let my synopsis and story speak for that. Because to the readers and the potential buyers of your book its too bulky to say and read on a book-shelf in a book store.
Think along those lines Rachel.
Considering all that myself, I've just gone with the title - A SHARD OF ICE but to be fair Pete knew it was a series based on my synopsis.
The readers don't have to know its the first in a series, because if they love your first book they will buy your second. Plain and simple.
To me regarding your title, I know you mean well but its still quite a mouthful.
I think you need to be a bit more ambiguous and think outside the box a little with your title.

HERE ARE A FEW EXAMPLES/SUGGESTIONS -

SECOND SIGHT, ANONYMOUS, THE UNAMED, AN UNLIKELY PAIR, ENTANGLED ( Thinking of the structure of a gene etc) UNDO, THE DECIPHER or Just UTOPIA - I know that means almost perfect people but maybe not everyone will know what UTOPIA means.

Also my suggestions are based on what I have seen and read of your work :)

Kind Regards,
Alix
 
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I actually like that as a book title much better than a series title, @Rachel Caldecott-Thornton. What you want to do with a series title is find words that convey what the books are about, but also keep it simple and intriguing enough that readers aren't tripping over those words. Keep series titles short and sweet, but also meaningful to the overall theme of the books. And then you want each book title to reflect that theme, but also reflect what the individual book is about. Easy, no? :) :) I'm kidding. It's not easy.

So the series is about the bad guys trying to unravel this genetic code? Does each book contain the story of one of the bad guys' attempts?
 
Carol Rose said:
I actually like that as a book title much better than a series title, @Rachel Caldecott-Thornton. What you want to do with a series title is find words that convey what the books are about, but also keep it simple and intriguing enough that readers aren't tripping over those words. Keep series titles short and sweet, but also meaningful to the overall theme of the books. And then you want each book title to reflect that theme, but also reflect what the individual book is about. Easy, no? :):) I'm kidding. It's not easy.

So the series is about the bad guys trying to unravel this genetic code? Does each book contain the story of one of the bad guys' attempts?
Click to expand...
Yes. The first is set in a future Britain. The second in the Americas. So Unravelling Utopia would work, I think.
 
Tim James said:
Just a couple of suggestions for the series title:

Gene Wars
If there is this sort of conflict going on.

The Utopia Gene
Is that what they are looking for?
Click to expand...

The Utopia Gene = The 'Perfect' Gene - Love it Tim
With a title like that would rouse my curiosity if it was sitting on a book-shelf in Waterstones :)
 
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Ha ha good point. I am limiting its appeal. I'm assuming my readers will be relatively smart. I hope so at least. :) Blimey that sounds horribly arrogant. Ideally, yes, the readers will know what Utopia means. Anyway, thanks to Trump most people have figured out now what 'dystopia' means. After all, we're living it. :) But perhaps you're right. I might need to take my time to choose a good title. But if I can limit the title to 2 words, be intriguing enough to cause someone to pick it off the shelf, while retaining relevance to the story - then I'll have a winner. And as you say, they don't need to know it's part of a series. I know I've started book 2, but the universe might kill me off before I finish it anyway.
 
@Rachel Caldecott-Thornton :)
Or 'The Perfect Gene' perhaps? For commercial value. The choice is yours.
Why don't you select a few title ideas and do a poll on here. (I'm sure theres a poll thread option)
Why not let your fellow writers vote and work from there. (Just a suggestion)
 
@Tim James :eek:
How dare you agree I'm Awkward :p
LOL
And theres me thinking you sound like the perfect guy from you book selection on your profile page.
GOT, Jane Eyre, Wuthering Heights etc.
 
The Utopia Gene works for me.

If I'm struggling for a title I sometimes brainstorm it - write down a cloud of words that fit the theme and story and then try them in different combinations. It can sometimes take a while to find the title that is right - and yet, om other occasions the title is there from the very start. :-)

A poll is a good idea once you have a shortlist. :-)
 
Kitty said:
The Utopia Gene works for me.

If I'm struggling for a title I sometimes brainstorm it - write down a cloud of words that fit the theme and story and then try them in different combinations. It can sometimes take a while to find the title that is right - and yet, om other occasions the title is there from the very start. :)

A poll is a good idea once you have a shortlist. :)
Click to expand...

I have several part written novels for which a good title has totally eluded me. One of my "finished" stories has changed title five times, and I'm still not happy with it.
 
Tim James said:
I have several part written novels for which a good title has totally eluded me. One of my "finished" stories has changed title five times, and I'm still not happy with it.
Click to expand...

I was really struggling for a title for my latest novel and then one of my beta readers highlighted a line and said 'hey! this would make a good title' and there it was, all the time, just waiting for someone to spot it :-)
 
Too wordy. Too much going on in the title. The Unravelling, suggested by Kirsten has more oomph.

Seeking and receiving feedback is always a challenge. You take it or leave it.
 
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