This Is A Question Indeed...

[AgentPete]

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

 

[AgentPete]

Answering my own question, I think it might be 42...

 

[AgentPete]

No, possibly 84...

 

[Steve C]

You're doing my head in. I always thought it was 16

 

[Barbara]

One? That's if 'wood' is meant as 'one forest', not lots of sticks of wood.

Even I don't know what I'm talking about....

I need a lie down now.

 

[Jonny]

Just on a point of clarity, please. Does this particular woodchuck actually have the ability to chuck wood?

 

[Emily]

Well.
Woodchucks don't actually chuck (throw) wood, of course, but, since they are a burrowing rodent, they do know well how to toss around some dirt. So calculating a typical size of a woodchuck burrow, which consists of three rooms and a tunnel leading to it that is roughly six inches wide and extends 25 to 30 feet. We can determine that 35 square feet of soil needs to be excavated to create such a burrow. Knowing that a cubic foot of soil weighs 20 pounds, we can calculate that a woodchuck can chuck 700 pounds of dirt a day. This calculation leads by extension, to the answer that, should a woodchuck be so inclined, he could chuck about 700 pounds of wood as well.






(I *totally* nicked that explanation from Google )

I, myself, would have said 27.

 

[Rich.]

A woodchuck would chuck as much wood as a woodchuck could if a woodchuck could chuck wood but if a woodchuck could chuck wood, would the woodchuck chuck said wood or would the woodchuck... WTF?

 

[Steve C]

Personally, I prefer to chuck down a few pints but there are some Scots who chuck wood around during what they call 'Highland Games.' It's been rumoured that some keep woodchucks as pets and let them crawl up their kilts on occasion.

 

[Barbara]

And all this time, foreign me thought 'chucking wood' meant 'chopping wood' in the context of wood chucking. *SLAPS OWN FOREHEAD*

 

[Barbara]

PS: On that note, surly a wood chucking woodchuck which chucks wood would be javelinist?

 

[Hannah Faoileán]

No, a caber tosser and @Steve C has just revealed the champion's secret weapon! (Well, not physically revealed as looking under a Scot's kilt would be - well - dangerous!)

 

[Jonny]

Hoots!

 

[E G Logan]

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

I want what you're drinking.

 

[KateESal]

I agree with Pete.

(But you're really not going to like it)

The answer is 42.

 

[Robinne Weiss]

I agree with Pete.

(But you're really not going to like it)

The answer is 42.

But what are the units! I'm always getting on my maths students' cases about this--units are important. There's a big difference between 42 cords, 42 cubic metres, 42 trailer loads, 42 linear metres (maybe he's chucking 4 x 2s?) (to use just three of the units in which I've bought wood)

 

[Hannah Faoileán]

But what are the units! I'm always getting on my maths students' cases about this--units are important. There's a big difference between 42 cords, 42 cubic metres, 42 trailer loads, 42 linear metres (maybe he's chucking 4 x 2s?) (to use just three of the units in which I've bought wood)

Gosh! I just buy wood as "small logs, please."

 

[Steve C]

I just buy wood

What? You buy it?
It's free around here. Unlike money it grows on trees don't you know.

 

[Lex Black]

...I never thought I'd see the day when I was the least insane person in the Colony.

But here it is.

 

[Steve C]

...I never thought I'd see the day when I was the least insane person in the Colony.

But here it is.

See, there's hope for you yet

 

[Lex Black]

See, there's hope for you yet

I don't know that I would go that far. O.O

 

[Barbara]

I just buy wood as "small logs, please."

Do the logs come with a freebie axe? Like, buy 10 logs get a free axe. I hear axe throwing is quite popular in your neck of the woods. The woodchuck could chuck wood then throw an axe as a bonus finale.

But he'd first have to do a risk assessment and put up some signs.

 

[Hannah Faoileán]

Do the logs come with a freebie axe? Like, buy 10 logs get a free axe. I hear axe throwing is quite popular in your neck of the woods. The woodchuck could chuck wood then throw an axe as a bonus finale.

But he'd first have to do a risk assessment and put up some signs.

And pass metal helmets around.

 

[Lex Black]

...this is a writer's forum, right? Not a meeting place for blooming serial killers?

Serial killers, or as they're known in Britainland, "football fans."

 

[Barbara]

I'm not going to admit that I initially thought a woodchuck is some sort of woodpecker chicken. No, I'm NOT telling you. Never.

 

[Victoria Bastedo]

Woodchucks must be named 'woodchuck' for a reason, I say.

In the chuckle woods a groundhog, hiding out from the groundhog day pirates, saw them coming for him.
He scrabbled. He burrowed. But, alas! A pile of sticks and branches prevented burrowing and scrabbling.
The cheerful, terrifying humans came, seeking a fat groundhog to play their game.
So... he chucked.

The humans paused in their stomping through the forest like giants. They pointed at him in amazement.
And a legend was born....

 

[Hannah Faoileán]

"He chucked" can also mean he vomited . . . just saying.