Poetry Survivor Guilt

Survivor Guilt by Rachel Caldecott
(I'm not a poet, but I wrote this after the drowning of Dean in Nov 2020, for his beloved Rosie, my niece, who he left behind)



Do not beat yourself up

Or blame yourself

It serves no purpose

Other than to increase the pain

That is already too hard to bear.


It is not your fault

That you survived

And he didn’t

There is no rhyme or reason

For why or what for.


There will always be survivors

Are we to blame them?

There is no logic

Why one should live

And another not.


The workings of the universe

Are beyond our comprehension

Sometimes it simply boils down

To bad things happen

To the nicest people.


Nothing more

Nothing less

But one thing is for sure

We owe it to the dead

To carry on living.


We all die

And control of when and how

Is out of our hands

But when our time comes

We will be united in Eternity.

 

[Emily]

Oh Rachel, a beautiful poem but I'm so sorry that happened. May Dean rest in peace and may you all, esp Rosie, find peace too.

 

[Rachel Caldecott]

Oh Rachel, a beautiful poem but I'm so sorry that happened. May Dean rest in peace and may you all, esp Rosie, find peace too.

Yes. Thank you. Dear Rosie has gone. There is nothing left of the Fine Artist and Singer-Songwriter that she was. I'm hoping with time she'll come back. We're fast approaching the first anniversary, and that's going to be a tough hurdle to get over. The saddest part of Dean's passing is that everyone who knew him knew how truly remarkable he was, but the rest of the world doesn't and will never understand. He was quite simply exceptional.

 

[Katie-Ellen]

Lovely poem, Rachel. Just terrible. But what if Dean had made it, but Rosie hadn't? Dean would now be bearing that grief. Instead, it has fallen to Rosie, to bear it for love of him.

Greater love hath no man.

It is too easy too say. But for Rosie to decide to get well again. To live her life and be happy, that is THE reward that can still be Dean's, for what he did, and that makes sense of it, so far as anything can ever make sense. Because as you say, so truly, bad things happen to the best people. x