Some openings

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NickP

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Aug 17, 2014
Okay, writing.


Here’s the game, I put up some opening paras from ten books off my shelf and you tell me if you would read on (and why…or why not)


Kudos if you know the book or author or can guess it, but that’s not the point of the exercise! No googling (as if you would…)


Here’s the first five


Number 1


Kane dealt prescription drugs in Ashford, the Gateway to Europe. His main supplier was Anthony Shilling, a Waste Management Coordinator at the Frances Fairfax. Shilling was a quiet, Jamaican gentleman (caucasian - his family originally plantation owners) who came to England in the early seventies, settled in Dalston, London, and felly in love with a woman called Mercy, whose own family came from the Dominican Republic.

Mercy was British born. Anthony and Mercy moved to South Kent in 1976, where they settled and raised four daughters, one of whom was a professor of Political Sciences at Leeds University and had written a book called Culture Clashes: Protest Sings and the Yardies (1977-1999).



Number 2



When I was little, my dad used to tell me, “Will, you can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can’t pick your friend’s nose.” This seemed like a reasonably astute observation to me when I was eight, but it turns out to be incorrect on a few levels. To begin with you cannot possibly pick your friends, or else I never would have ended up with Tiny Cooper.


Number 3


Friday. Five o’clock in the afternoon. Maybe the hardest time to move unobserved through a city. Or, maybe, the easiest. Because at five o’clock on a Friday nobody pays attention to anything. Except the road ahead.


Number 4


Walking to school over the snow-muffled cobbles, Karou had no sinister premonitions about the day. It seemed like just another Monday, innocent but for its essential Mondayness, not to mention its Januaryness. It was cold, and it was dark - in the dead of winter the sun didn’t rise until eight - but it was also lovely. The falling snow and the early hour conspired to paint Prague ghostly, like a tintype photograph, all silver and haze.


Number 5


The Golem’s life began in the hold of a steamship. The year was 1899: the ship was the Baltika, crossing from Danzig to New York. The Golem’s master, a man named Otto Rotfeld, had smuggled her aboard in a crate and hidden her among the luggage.
 
1. I lost interest with the back story.
2. Humour piqued my interest to read more. And curiousity about Tiny.
3. Not interested in the daily grind. Didn't grab any interest.
4. Eerie setting. Would read more. This genre may appeal to me too. If it is a suoernatural mystery.
5. Possibly read on. Not yet hooked. Don't know what The Golem is so can't relate to it's journey. Not sure just didn't grab my curiosity enough.
 
I don't think it matters. It's more about whether the opening works than anything else.
Sure, ok. Is this an exercise from an agent perspective or a reader perspective. Because as a reader I would obviously pick a book based on genre too and the blurb at the back as well as if I am a fan of the author and can forgive a boring opening to get to the juice.
 
Sure, ok. Is this an exercise from an agent perspective or a reader perspective. Because as a reader I would obviously pick a book based on genre too and the blurb at the back as well as if I am a fan of the author and can forgive a boring opening to get to the juice.
Rather depends whether you ARE a reader or an agent, don't you think?
 
Personally, I would read 2,3,4 &5 but #1 lost me. It tells me who the characters are but nothing about their situation or what troubles they face. The others at least intrigue me enough to keep reading.
 
1: Puts me off immediately, because it gives the impression that it will be full of dull left-leaning political correctness. Yawn.
2. The humour seems aimed at children, so is not really for me. I might have read a bit further, just to be sure, but only if I was very bored.
3. Seems to be of a genre that doesn't interest me, but again I might have read on for a few sentences, just to be sure, albeit in the expectation of disappointment.
4. Yes, I'd have given this a go. The last sentence of the extract has something of poetry in it. But I would be concerned that the book would fall into the category of 'worthy but dull' lit fic. Would have to read it to find out.
5. Yes, I'd have given this a go. I often, but not always, like stories of that period and genre. Would have to read it to find out.
 
Yup —
1: lost me — has to be a Victorian. Oh, not set in 1976. Wow.
2: I have literally picked me friend's nose. Pass.
3: maybe
4: LOVE LOVE LOVE — I'll read until I find out it's chick lit and stop.
5: This one. This is the one. This one's for me.

The Golem and Jinni, by Helene Wecker... I may actually give this a go.
 
2,3 and 5. Is that last one a novel by Muriel Gray? I've heard she wrote something like that, but I haven't read it.

Changed my mind about 2. Hah. Too whimsical. Not mad about 3 , too bumpity bumpity...short sentences, But it sets a scene without getting in my way.
 
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1. Nope. Sounds like it was written a long time ago or maybe it's literary fiction. Either way, not really my styles.
2. Maybe a kids book? I might read on a little further because I enjoy humor, but it's unlikely I'd finish it.
3. Yes, I'd keep reading. I'd need more than just the first paragraph, but it sounds like it might be going to be about someone who's trying to blend in, which makes me (the thriller reader/writer) think something's gonna happen.
4. OMIGOSH IS THIS DAUGHTER OF SMOKE AND BONE? Lol I didn't expect to like that book, but I read the whole series. Good stuff. However, based off this paragraph, I'm not sure. Maybe.
5. Probably not. Not my usual style.
 
1. No, doesn't hold my interest at all.
2. Yes, I'd read on, just to find out who Tiny Cooper is.
3. Yes, it's the word 'unobserved' that hooked me. Why?
4. Yes, simply because of the lovely writing
5. Yes, love this sort of stuff.
 
Here's what they are:

Number 1

Kane dealt prescription drugs in Ashford, the Gateway to Europe. His main supplier was Anthony Shilling, a Waste Management Coordinator at the Frances Fairfax. Shilling was a quiet, Jamaican gentleman (caucasian - his family originally plantation owners) who came to England in the early seventies, settled in Dalston, London, and felly in love with a woman called Mercy, whose own family came from the Dominican Republic.

Mercy was British born. Anthony and Mercy moved to South Kent in 1976, where they settled and raised four daughters, one of whom was a professor of Political Sciences at Leeds University and had written a book called Culture Clashes: Protest Sings and the Yardies (1977-1999).

Darkmans by Nicola Barker ("shortlisted for 2007 Man booker Prize")

Number 2

When I was little, my dad used to tell me, “Will, you can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can’t pick your friend’s nose.” This seemed like a reasonably astute observation to me when I was eight, but it turns out to be incorrect on a few levels. To begin with you cannot possibly pick your friends, or else I never would have ended up with Tiny Cooper.

Will Grayson, Will Grayson by John Green & David Leuithan "New York Times Bestseller"

Number 3

Friday. Five o’clock in the afternoon. Maybe the hardest time to move unobserved through a city. Or, maybe, the easiest. Because at five o’clock on a Friday nobody pays attention to anything. Except the road ahead.

One Shot by Lee Child "A Jack Reacher Thriller"

Number 4

Walking to school over the snow-muffled cobbles, Karou had no sinister premonitions about the day. It seemed like just another Monday, innocent but for its essential Mondayness, not to mention its Januaryness. It was cold, and it was dark - in the dead of winter the sun didn’t rise until eight - but it was also lovely. The falling snow and the early hour conspired to paint Prague ghostly, like a tintype photograph, all silver and haze.

Daughter of Smoke and Bone by Laini Taylor "The doors to elsewhere are closing"

(kudos to Nicole Wilson)

Number 5


The Golem’s life began in the hold of a steamship. The year was 1899: the ship was the Baltika, crossing from Danzig to New York. The Golem’s master, a man named Otto Rotfeld, had smuggled her aboard in a crate and hidden her among the luggage.

The Golem and the Djinni by Helene Wecker ("Two Strangers, One Destiny")

Kudos to Jason Byrne (I think)
 
Here's what they are:

Number 1

Kane dealt prescription drugs in Ashford, the Gateway to Europe. His main supplier was Anthony Shilling, a Waste Management Coordinator at the Frances Fairfax. Shilling was a quiet, Jamaican gentleman (caucasian - his family originally plantation owners) who came to England in the early seventies, settled in Dalston, London, and felly in love with a woman called Mercy, whose own family came from the Dominican Republic.

Mercy was British born. Anthony and Mercy moved to South Kent in 1976, where they settled and raised four daughters, one of whom was a professor of Political Sciences at Leeds University and had written a book called Culture Clashes: Protest Sings and the Yardies (1977-1999).

Darkmans by Nicola Barker ("shortlisted for 2007 Man booker Prize")

Number 2

When I was little, my dad used to tell me, “Will, you can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can’t pick your friend’s nose.” This seemed like a reasonably astute observation to me when I was eight, but it turns out to be incorrect on a few levels. To begin with you cannot possibly pick your friends, or else I never would have ended up with Tiny Cooper.

Will Grayson, Will Grayson by John Green & David Leuithan "New York Times Bestseller"

Number 3

Friday. Five o’clock in the afternoon. Maybe the hardest time to move unobserved through a city. Or, maybe, the easiest. Because at five o’clock on a Friday nobody pays attention to anything. Except the road ahead.

One Shot by Lee Child "A Jack Reacher Thriller"

Number 4

Walking to school over the snow-muffled cobbles, Karou had no sinister premonitions about the day. It seemed like just another Monday, innocent but for its essential Mondayness, not to mention its Januaryness. It was cold, and it was dark - in the dead of winter the sun didn’t rise until eight - but it was also lovely. The falling snow and the early hour conspired to paint Prague ghostly, like a tintype photograph, all silver and haze.

Daughter of Smoke and Bone by Laini Taylor "The doors to elsewhere are closing"

(kudos to Nicole Wilson)

Number 5


The Golem’s life began in the hold of a steamship. The year was 1899: the ship was the Baltika, crossing from Danzig to New York. The Golem’s master, a man named Otto Rotfeld, had smuggled her aboard in a crate and hidden her among the luggage.

The Golem and the Djinni by Helene Wecker ("Two Strangers, One Destiny")

Kudos to Jason Byrne (I think)
Interesting - at least I said yes to the Reacher book (my fav series). And I was right! Stuff was gonna happen. :D
 
Interesting - at least I said yes to the Reacher book (my fav series). And I was right! Stuff was gonna happen. :D
Way to go on number 4! And good taste, by the way.

I'll probably actually check out Daughter of Smoke and Bone, Angelmaker, and The Golem and the Djinni.
 
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