Santa's on his way!

[Jonny]

Ha ha!

Hey, that’s the very lad who lived under our bed for a good ten years. So that’s where he’s got to, eh?

We never had the wee light in the family homestead - although with the benefit of hindsight we were clearly lightweights in the iconography stakes.

 

[Emily]

Now I know what to get you for your birthday!!! I don't think I know of ANY Catholic homes that didn't have one of those. Your very Holiness was weighed by how many Sacred Heart pictures you had, how many photos of your relatives in religious orders and and how much you gave weekly to the church (we rated low; those darn-crazy single uncles and aunties refused to become priests and nuns and ruined our chances of austere photos in the parlour)

 

[Jonny]

Now we were complete nonstarters with the rellies in the clergy creds, although The DA’s Da did six years in the seminary before getting ‘troubled be the doubts’ and subsequently bailing on the whole thing.

Had he not done there’d be no Jonny round these here parts. So if you’re looking to blame someone then it’s my paternal grandad

 

[Emily]

Thank GOD for your paternal grandad, so!!

 

[Jonny]

I concur with your sentiments. 100%

 

[Hannah Faoileán]

I remember the wooden tray getting passed around in church and eyes watching intently to see how much money their pew neighbours placed on it.

 

[Jonny]

Ha ha! Yes, Hannah. Sleight of hand and close-up magic to disguise the value of our own contributions.

 

[Emily]

I was always a faint-er, and my favourite time to faint was when the basket was being passed around. Thankfully the explosion of coins clattering into the air disguised the loud "thunk-thunk" as I headbutted the wooden pews.

 

[Michele Houlihan]

Hope we're all being good girls and boys as Santa's on his way and he knows if you're not.

I'm certainly being a good boy as I want him to bring my nice new reference monitors and slicing mandolin, not a lump of coal and horse crap.

See him at work now in real time as he flies around the globe on his sleigh. If you have young kids or grandkids in your family they'd likely love this site which runs every year.

https://www.noradsanta.org/en/map

And no, I certainly haven't spent the last 15 minutes watching Santa's progress.

Thanks Jonny Merry Christmas

 

[Barbara]

I headbutted the wooden pews

What? They didn't have cushions in your church?

 

[Hannah Faoileán]

What? They didn't have cushions in your church?

I've never seen cushions in a catholic church. Then again, I haven't been in one for years.

 

[Barbara]

I've never seen cushions in a catholic church. Then again, I haven't been in one for years.

I went to protestant church.

The wine was fake tho: grape juice. Pah.

 

[Emily]

What? They didn't have cushions in your church?

Church cushions?! Whatever would they be??

The wine was fake tho: grape juice. Pah.

But the wine was WINE. (what does that say about Catholics?! No cushions, but excellent wine = priorities!!!)

 

[Barbara]

Church cushions?! Whatever would they be??

But the wine was WINE. (what does that say about Catholics?! No cushions, but excellent wine = priorities!!!)

When I say cushion, it was more of a Hessian bag with padding. Rough little blighters, they were. Mustn't let the congregation get too soft. We had a neighbour (a Brit living in Switzers funny enough) who would sleep soundly through most of the sermon until the (non) wine was served. Then he woke up and started queuing like everyone else.

 

[Jonny]

Our church was so austere that we had to kneel on blocks of wood with six inch nails pointing upwards into our knees.

 

[Barbara]

six inch nails

There's heavy metal band called ..
Ah no, silly me, it's Nine Inch Nails. Look em up. Not exactly choir boys, them.

May I say I'm truly impressed you went back every Sunday.

 

[Jonny]

I know the Nine Inch Nails. Unlike some other bands.

Now, who said I went every Sunday.