Help Please! Overuse of "that"

[JoanUP]

Hi Litopians!

In reviewing a draft of my novel, I have come to realize I have been overlooking punctuation and grammar.

Right now am looking at my use of the word "that".
I have problems pinpointing when "that" can be removed, and I also have trouble deciding on the "that vs which" issue.
I went through and extracted potential "that" edits (attached) with hopes that someone could look it over and either help me on the individual sentences or help me pinpoint what rules of thumb I seem to be forgetting.

Also, I realize these sentences could be reworded to avoid needing to decide on the use of "that".
But my interest in this is as an exercise to improve my grammar.

Thanks in advance!
Joan

 

[Hannah Faoileán]

Hi Litopians!

In reviewing a draft of my novel, I have come to realize I have been overlooking punctuation and grammar.

Right now am looking at my use of the word "that".
I have problems pinpointing when "that" can be removed, and I also have trouble deciding on the "that vs which" issue.
I went through and extracted potential "that" edits (attached) with hopes that someone could look it over and either help me on the individual sentences or help me pinpoint what rules of thumb I seem to be forgetting.

Also, I realize these sentences could be reworded to avoid needing to decide on the use of "that".
But my interest in this is as an exercise to improve my grammar.

Thanks in advance!
Joan

Hi Joan

I have attached your file with what I consider unnecessary THATs deleted. Almost all are unnecessary, in my opinion.

Inclusion or deletion is a personal preference. The modern rule of thumb in fiction is, read aloud and if the sentence works fine without "that" or "which", leave it out. If the sentence meaning could be misconstrued by its deletion leave it in.

Rules: if a clause in a sentence is restrictive or defining, i.e, you need the clause to understand the sentence, if you need the relative pronoun (see above), use "that" (or "who" if referring to a person). If a clause is non-restrictive or non-defining, i.e, the clause just adds extra detail but the sentence would make sense without it, enclose it between commas or dashes (or after a comma or dash if it ends the sentence) and use "which" (or "who" if referring to a person).

Hope this helps.

 

[JoanUP]

Hi Joan

I have attached your file with what I consider unnecessary THATs deleted. Almost all are unnecessary, in my opinion.

Inclusion or deletion is a personal preference. The modern rule of thumb in fiction is, read aloud and if the sentence works fine without "that" or "which", leave it out. If the sentence meaning could be misconstrued by its deletion leave it in.

Rules: if a clause in a sentence is restrictive or defining, i.e, you need the clause to understand the sentence, if you need the relative pronoun (see above), use "that" (or "who" if referring to a person). If a clause is non-restrictive or non-defining, i.e, the clause just adds extra detail but the sentence would make sense without it, enclose it between commas or dashes (or after a comma or dash if it ends the sentence) and use "which" (or "who" if referring to a person).

Hope this helps.

Thanks!

 

[BrianY]

I use "that" so often that I have a process for cutting them out. I call it "de-that-trafication." At worst, I'll use fifteen or twenty "thats" per thousand words. Most have to go. However, the word does have a purpose, I just don't know it.

 

[LA Thomas]

I had c900 to remove from my debut…