So much to say. Sorry for the length.
About the modesty thing, I have been in discussions with American fundamentalists (I was raised in an extremely repressive fundamentalist sect) who state that women should cover up everything, not even wearing short sleeves, because otherwise, they will tempt a man. The meaning behind this argument is that women's bodies are viewed as so inherently sexual and dangerous that men, who are presumably otherwise impeccable in character, will be unable to help themselves and will have impure thoughts. Again, the woman is the source of temptation here. When I counter-argued that the problem lay not in what a woman wears, but in the disordered state of the mind of a man who cannot help sexualizing a woman's body, I was told that I "just wanted to wear whatever I wanted and didn't care who I caused to sin." This was said to me absent any photographic evidence or statements on my part of my clothing.
Someone wiser than me has said that modesty is not a garment, but an attitude. I agree. I live in the American South, where it is not only hot, but excessively humid. In summertime, I wear short skirts and tank tops in an effort to stay cool. I never, ever worry that anyone is looking at me askance, and if they are, you know what? That's their disordered mind that can't see a body, which is inherently neutral in and of itself, without lusting for it. That is not my issue to worry about.
In fact, I know a guy who was raised in the same sect, and he has always refused to watch Schindler's List, because, he said, "the concentration camp prisoners might be naked, and then I would have sexual thoughts about them." That is AMAZING. That is sad.
About harassment, I am well aware that my body language telegraphs that I am easy to take advantage of. This is very attractive to predatory males, and this is why when I was dating, I just plain refused to be alone with any man, even one I was on a date with. But again, you know what? This should NOT be an issue. It is incumbent on the men to act like civilized humans, not me "asking for it" because of my body language. I should be able to walk down the street stark naked without being considered to be asking for it.
One other thing: I found, when I was single, that men would simply not respect a woman's "refusal" to go out with or engage in sex with them. The expectation is that "of course you should want to go out with me." I recall when I was 13, a boy asked me to "go" with him. (That's middle-school parlance for "be my girlfriend.") I did not like him--not even as a friend, so I said no. He called me incessantly for days, insisting that I give him a reason for saying no. Another time, during my senior year of college, I went out to a pub with a male friend of mine whom I had known since freshman year. I had NEVER given him the slightest hint that I was interested in him (because I wasn't). We're sitting at the bar, just talking about who knows what, when suddenly he puts his hand on my back and starts rubbing it. I had NO idea what to do, because I am an awkward person. But I figured I'd better nip it in the bud, so I pointed at him and said (loudly), "Hey, you're not getting lucky tonight!" He got ANGRY and started telling what an idiot I was and how stupid I was. All because I dared to exercise sovereignty over my body.
What WILL these men respect? If you say you have a boyfriend. These types of men will pursue you for as long as they can until and unless you say, "I'm sorry, but I have a boyfriend." Then they will stop. Why? Because you have just told them, "Sorry, I am another man's property." They will respect his territory, but not your simple refusal to date them, because "of course" you should want to get with that.
If anyone wants to read it, I actually wrote a short story from the perspective of a woman who is a part of the milieu that says women are by nature sexually dangerous to men. The story "exposes" the attitudes toward sex and women that men with this mindset have.
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