Welcome to our new Craft Chat for November: Word Choice. As with so much in writing, this is highly subjective. I'm sure we all have different ways of finding, choosing, or even creating the right words for our scenes or characters' emotions. Please share your own experiences, whatever you've learned that works for you.
As before, the discussion thread will be open for FIVE DAYS from when we post the Chat. Let us know your thoughts. If you disagree with anything, that’s fine. Tell us why. We love hearing from you. All opinions are welcome and valid additions to our learning. Keep it civil.
Rachel (RK Capps), Galadriel, Kay (Ancora Imparo)
WORD CHOICE I
Word choice is the fodder of stories. The trick is not to serve tired bread and butter, but to serve something new and exciting. Give an audience toast with the melted butter and jam they crave. They might crave scones with jam and cream. They might crave a mars bar slice. Whatever they crave, your job is to deliver. Word choice will infuse stories with your voice…that secret sauce you pour over a story before serving.
Word choice is not the stuff of first drafts, but final drafts.
How can you use word choice? Well, how long is a piece of string?
Let’s start with verbs. They are your jam. Carefully chosen verbs move a story. They give your sentence action and this engages readers as much as tension.
Think about whose POV you’re writing. Who is this person? Who is this narrator? What words would they use? Use them and strengthen the illusion of your fictional world. An example (and I’m sorry for the Aussie slang):
Don’t say, “he drove along the road.”
Say, “he fanged around the roundabout.”
I’ve done two things here. I used the slang verb “fanged,” meaning To drive fast; to floor it. I also used some specificity i.e. “roundabout.” Not only can we picture the image better, the verb gives us a sense of who this person is.
What about nouns? This is our opportunity to add clarity. In the videos below, Shaelin uses the example of a plant. Brandon uses the example of a dog. To stick with the Australian theme, let’s use the example of a snake. If I say,
“the snake slithered toward me”
What are you picturing? Sure, you might be a little queasy at the idea of a snake slithering toward the character, but what if I specify the noun? i.e.
“the brown snake slithered through the grass toward me”
What if you knew an untreated brown snake bite kills in under half an hour? Does that raise your level of fear for the character? (assuming you cared for him) By specifying the noun, I’ve hopefully engaged the reader’s emotions. This time I also added “through the grass” giving the reader a sense of the setting. Make the words you choose work for you.
And a fictional example of great word choice:
I run the numbers and come up with an answer I don’t like. The gravity in this room is too high. It’s 15 meters per second per second when it should be 9.8. That’s why things falling “feel” wrong to me. They’re falling too fast. And that’s why I’m so weak despite these muscles. Everything weighs one and a half times as much as it should.
Thing is, nothing affects gravity. You can’t increase or decrease it. Earth’s gravity is 9.8 meters per second per second. Period. And I’m experiencing more than that. There’s only one possible explanation.
I’m not on Earth.
Weir, Andy. Project Hail Mary (p. 19). Random House. Kindle Edition.
From these words we know: this character is Sherlock smart, we gather a vague physical picture, he doesn’t know where he is which makes the reader wonder “why doesn’t he know?” (in fact, the reader has been wondering this from chapter 1) and the chapter has a great hook.
Another fictional example:
WE SLEPT IN what had once been the gymnasium. The floor was of varnished wood, with stripes and circles painted on it, for the games that were formerly played there; the hoops for the basketball nets were still in place, though the nets were gone. A balcony ran around the room, for the spectators, and I thought I could smell, faintly like an afterimage, the pungent scent of sweat, shot through with the sweet taint of chewing gum and perfume from the watching girls, felt-skirted as I knew from pictures, later in mini-skirts, then pants, then in one earring, spiky green-streaked hair. Dances would have been held there; the music lingered, a palimpsest of unheard sound, style upon style, an undercurrent of drums, a forlorn wail, garlands made of tissue-paper flowers, cardboard devils, a revolving ball of mirrors, powdering the dancers with a snow of light. There was old sex in the room and loneliness, and expectation, of something without a shape or name.
Atwood, Margaret. The Handmaid's Tale (Vintage Classics) (p. 3). Random House. Kindle Edition.
With the use of the words I've highlighted in green, Atwood uses word choice to create the feeling of a lonely world. For life in Gilead is an isolating one and the word choice here (in the first paragraph of the book) sets a subtextual tone of what the reader will expect. Atwood uses her word choice to give the reader a promise.
Some things to consider when making your word choice/syntax, and I turn to a craft book in print since 1965:
Where do scripts go wrong, language-wise, beyond the points already covered? Here I have no comprehensive answers, let alone data that can be classed as definitive. But awkwardness does develop in certain special areas often enough to be worth mentioning.
Thus,
a. Sentence structure grows monotonous.
b. Subject and verb are separated.
c. Adverbs are placed improperly.
d. Words and phrases are repeated inadvertently.
e. Correct grammar becomes a fetish.
f. Meaning isn’t made clear instantly.
There are more, of course; too many more. But these will do for a start.
Swain, Dwight V.. Techniques of the Selling Writer (p. 32). University of Oklahoma Press. Kindle Edition.
There's a lot to this writing malarkey, eh? Just when you get a grip on one thing, another pops up.
Rachel
For watching:
Pyramid of abstraction:
For reading:
Use Word Choice to Set the Mood
WORD CHOICE II
CHOOSING WORDS FOR MAXIMUM EFFECT
This is going to be short because I think Rachel has covered the subject well, and I actually have no idea how I choose words when I’m writing – mostly, it's instinctive. (Note use of word “actually”, which some will tell you is a superfluous word and should always be cut – but sod it, I like it for emphasis. Sometimes. So it stays. I guess that counts as a word choice.)
Here’s another thing I noticed over thirty years ago, analysing Thomas Hardy’s The Mayor of Casterbridge and Tess of the d’Urbervilles for A-Level English. One day Tess was sad and upset. Hardy wrote: “Upon her lashes there lingered tears.”
Michael Henchard (the mayor) was sad and upset one day, too. Hardy wrote: “He had a wet eye.”
Which of these two characters do you think the writer wanted to imbue with a touch of the ethereal? Word choice: nuanced communication that writers can use to great advantage, whether describing a character or setting, or when trying to plant a specific seed, image or feeling in the reader’s mind. The soul of a place can be conveyed as easily as the soul of a character, depending on the words you use and the order you put them in. Hardy didn’t say Tess was an innocent, ethereal creature. He used syntax and alliteration (as well as other techniques) to plant that seed in the reader’s head.
This is – again – why it’s so important for writers to be readers. Next time you read your favourite author (or a new one) and recognise your feelings are being engaged, manipulated, torn – whatever – go back and re-read and re-read the relevant parts and analyse exactly what words or expressions the author has used to engage you in such a way.
I love line editing for this reason, because that’s where I can pull my own work apart line by line, word by word, and decide if, for example, the verb “shouted” accurately conveys the anger and hysteria of a pain-in-the-butt character, or if the word “screeched” might be better. Small changes can make big impacts.
An exercise we were given at Uni was to write a very emotional scene without using the word “felt” or telling us what emotion was driving the character. Show the reader what your character did, how they behaved, what they said, how they spoke. Communicating emotion without telling us what the emotion is, is a worthwhile exercise because it makes you think hard about which words will give the reader most clues. Clues they will assimilate unconsciously – just as they do every day when dealing with normal human interactions – without you telling them what to think or what to feel. Keep this kind of technique tight, so you don't overwhelm your reader. Remember syntax, and adjust it if you think that will help convey your subliminal message. Use alliteration if you want to. Use dissonance – use whatever technique you want but make sure it matches what you want to convey about your character or place.
Shouted –v– screeched? Definitely screeched.
Ancora Imparo
WORD CHOICE III
Writing involves words. But what leads us to choose one or several words over others? It’s not always about being "clever" with sprinkling your writing with words so archaic or niche that no one’s ever heard of them. Ultimately, word choice must convey clarity to your writing overall.
Considering Word Choice:
1. When you’ve a particular audience in mind. You wouldn’t write ‘arbitrary,’ in a book for five-year-olds; or jargon in a ‘How to fix your computer,’ in a text for technophobes.
2. When you want to avoid repetition by considering alternatives. A good thesaurus helps to identify synonyms.
3. When you want to evoke a mood. Sometimes, brevity works better for some of today’s modern readers. Compare succinct and spare language with the flowery, extended sentences deployed by Victorian writers.
4. When you want to be creative with neologisms and portmanteaus.
5. When you want to demonstrate good writing with powerful verbs.
6. Notice that I am addressing you, the reader, directly. But what about other forms of address? In the current climate, the writer’s has a wider choice of pronoun at their disposal. Creeping into this are the politics of language, power and identity. Word choice here has the power to dismiss, alienate, include people. He, she, they, them, his, her have expanded to (inexhaustive list) xe, per, themselves, vis, you, etc.).
Galadriel
The Importance of Word Choice in Writing | Writers.com
As before, the discussion thread will be open for FIVE DAYS from when we post the Chat. Let us know your thoughts. If you disagree with anything, that’s fine. Tell us why. We love hearing from you. All opinions are welcome and valid additions to our learning. Keep it civil.
Rachel (RK Capps), Galadriel, Kay (Ancora Imparo)
WORD CHOICE I
Word choice is the fodder of stories. The trick is not to serve tired bread and butter, but to serve something new and exciting. Give an audience toast with the melted butter and jam they crave. They might crave scones with jam and cream. They might crave a mars bar slice. Whatever they crave, your job is to deliver. Word choice will infuse stories with your voice…that secret sauce you pour over a story before serving.
Word choice is not the stuff of first drafts, but final drafts.
How can you use word choice? Well, how long is a piece of string?
Let’s start with verbs. They are your jam. Carefully chosen verbs move a story. They give your sentence action and this engages readers as much as tension.
Think about whose POV you’re writing. Who is this person? Who is this narrator? What words would they use? Use them and strengthen the illusion of your fictional world. An example (and I’m sorry for the Aussie slang):
Don’t say, “he drove along the road.”
Say, “he fanged around the roundabout.”
I’ve done two things here. I used the slang verb “fanged,” meaning To drive fast; to floor it. I also used some specificity i.e. “roundabout.” Not only can we picture the image better, the verb gives us a sense of who this person is.
What about nouns? This is our opportunity to add clarity. In the videos below, Shaelin uses the example of a plant. Brandon uses the example of a dog. To stick with the Australian theme, let’s use the example of a snake. If I say,
“the snake slithered toward me”
What are you picturing? Sure, you might be a little queasy at the idea of a snake slithering toward the character, but what if I specify the noun? i.e.
“the brown snake slithered through the grass toward me”
What if you knew an untreated brown snake bite kills in under half an hour? Does that raise your level of fear for the character? (assuming you cared for him) By specifying the noun, I’ve hopefully engaged the reader’s emotions. This time I also added “through the grass” giving the reader a sense of the setting. Make the words you choose work for you.
And a fictional example of great word choice:
I run the numbers and come up with an answer I don’t like. The gravity in this room is too high. It’s 15 meters per second per second when it should be 9.8. That’s why things falling “feel” wrong to me. They’re falling too fast. And that’s why I’m so weak despite these muscles. Everything weighs one and a half times as much as it should.
Thing is, nothing affects gravity. You can’t increase or decrease it. Earth’s gravity is 9.8 meters per second per second. Period. And I’m experiencing more than that. There’s only one possible explanation.
I’m not on Earth.
Weir, Andy. Project Hail Mary (p. 19). Random House. Kindle Edition.
From these words we know: this character is Sherlock smart, we gather a vague physical picture, he doesn’t know where he is which makes the reader wonder “why doesn’t he know?” (in fact, the reader has been wondering this from chapter 1) and the chapter has a great hook.
Another fictional example:
WE SLEPT IN what had once been the gymnasium. The floor was of varnished wood, with stripes and circles painted on it, for the games that were formerly played there; the hoops for the basketball nets were still in place, though the nets were gone. A balcony ran around the room, for the spectators, and I thought I could smell, faintly like an afterimage, the pungent scent of sweat, shot through with the sweet taint of chewing gum and perfume from the watching girls, felt-skirted as I knew from pictures, later in mini-skirts, then pants, then in one earring, spiky green-streaked hair. Dances would have been held there; the music lingered, a palimpsest of unheard sound, style upon style, an undercurrent of drums, a forlorn wail, garlands made of tissue-paper flowers, cardboard devils, a revolving ball of mirrors, powdering the dancers with a snow of light. There was old sex in the room and loneliness, and expectation, of something without a shape or name.
Atwood, Margaret. The Handmaid's Tale (Vintage Classics) (p. 3). Random House. Kindle Edition.
With the use of the words I've highlighted in green, Atwood uses word choice to create the feeling of a lonely world. For life in Gilead is an isolating one and the word choice here (in the first paragraph of the book) sets a subtextual tone of what the reader will expect. Atwood uses her word choice to give the reader a promise.
Some things to consider when making your word choice/syntax, and I turn to a craft book in print since 1965:
Where do scripts go wrong, language-wise, beyond the points already covered? Here I have no comprehensive answers, let alone data that can be classed as definitive. But awkwardness does develop in certain special areas often enough to be worth mentioning.
Thus,
a. Sentence structure grows monotonous.
b. Subject and verb are separated.
c. Adverbs are placed improperly.
d. Words and phrases are repeated inadvertently.
e. Correct grammar becomes a fetish.
f. Meaning isn’t made clear instantly.
There are more, of course; too many more. But these will do for a start.
Swain, Dwight V.. Techniques of the Selling Writer (p. 32). University of Oklahoma Press. Kindle Edition.
There's a lot to this writing malarkey, eh? Just when you get a grip on one thing, another pops up.
Rachel
For watching:
Pyramid of abstraction:
For reading:
Use Word Choice to Set the Mood
WORD CHOICE II
CHOOSING WORDS FOR MAXIMUM EFFECT
This is going to be short because I think Rachel has covered the subject well, and I actually have no idea how I choose words when I’m writing – mostly, it's instinctive. (Note use of word “actually”, which some will tell you is a superfluous word and should always be cut – but sod it, I like it for emphasis. Sometimes. So it stays. I guess that counts as a word choice.)
Here’s another thing I noticed over thirty years ago, analysing Thomas Hardy’s The Mayor of Casterbridge and Tess of the d’Urbervilles for A-Level English. One day Tess was sad and upset. Hardy wrote: “Upon her lashes there lingered tears.”
Michael Henchard (the mayor) was sad and upset one day, too. Hardy wrote: “He had a wet eye.”
Which of these two characters do you think the writer wanted to imbue with a touch of the ethereal? Word choice: nuanced communication that writers can use to great advantage, whether describing a character or setting, or when trying to plant a specific seed, image or feeling in the reader’s mind. The soul of a place can be conveyed as easily as the soul of a character, depending on the words you use and the order you put them in. Hardy didn’t say Tess was an innocent, ethereal creature. He used syntax and alliteration (as well as other techniques) to plant that seed in the reader’s head.
This is – again – why it’s so important for writers to be readers. Next time you read your favourite author (or a new one) and recognise your feelings are being engaged, manipulated, torn – whatever – go back and re-read and re-read the relevant parts and analyse exactly what words or expressions the author has used to engage you in such a way.
I love line editing for this reason, because that’s where I can pull my own work apart line by line, word by word, and decide if, for example, the verb “shouted” accurately conveys the anger and hysteria of a pain-in-the-butt character, or if the word “screeched” might be better. Small changes can make big impacts.
An exercise we were given at Uni was to write a very emotional scene without using the word “felt” or telling us what emotion was driving the character. Show the reader what your character did, how they behaved, what they said, how they spoke. Communicating emotion without telling us what the emotion is, is a worthwhile exercise because it makes you think hard about which words will give the reader most clues. Clues they will assimilate unconsciously – just as they do every day when dealing with normal human interactions – without you telling them what to think or what to feel. Keep this kind of technique tight, so you don't overwhelm your reader. Remember syntax, and adjust it if you think that will help convey your subliminal message. Use alliteration if you want to. Use dissonance – use whatever technique you want but make sure it matches what you want to convey about your character or place.
Shouted –v– screeched? Definitely screeched.
Ancora Imparo
WORD CHOICE III
Writing involves words. But what leads us to choose one or several words over others? It’s not always about being "clever" with sprinkling your writing with words so archaic or niche that no one’s ever heard of them. Ultimately, word choice must convey clarity to your writing overall.
Considering Word Choice:
1. When you’ve a particular audience in mind. You wouldn’t write ‘arbitrary,’ in a book for five-year-olds; or jargon in a ‘How to fix your computer,’ in a text for technophobes.
2. When you want to avoid repetition by considering alternatives. A good thesaurus helps to identify synonyms.
3. When you want to evoke a mood. Sometimes, brevity works better for some of today’s modern readers. Compare succinct and spare language with the flowery, extended sentences deployed by Victorian writers.
4. When you want to be creative with neologisms and portmanteaus.
5. When you want to demonstrate good writing with powerful verbs.
6. Notice that I am addressing you, the reader, directly. But what about other forms of address? In the current climate, the writer’s has a wider choice of pronoun at their disposal. Creeping into this are the politics of language, power and identity. Word choice here has the power to dismiss, alienate, include people. He, she, they, them, his, her have expanded to (inexhaustive list) xe, per, themselves, vis, you, etc.).
Galadriel
The Importance of Word Choice in Writing | Writers.com
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