Mental Conflict.

[AusGood9]

Is it me, or do other writers feel the same? When I'm writing my mind has a purpose and an end game. I add and take away subplots as well as characters and enjoy play god with my characters. When the book is finished and I've completed the 4th/5th final edit, I search once again for an agent who may take me on. That's when all the self-doubts hit me and I get swamped with failure. "Is this right?" "Is that right?" "Perhaps I should change this?"
I just wonder if I'm my own worst enemy, or do other writers have the same feelings?

 

[ChrisLewando]

Actually, I have no end game when I start a story, it usually starts with the thread of an idea. It's only when it get going and get the character talking that I start to feel my way into a conflict.... but the personal aspect of trying to change things/self doubt etc is something we all go through. What I have stopped worrying about is whether anyone will like what I've written. If they don't like it, that's their hard luck! I learned a long time ago not to write for the market, but write what I like, then keep making it tighter and better. Only 4-5 edits? Usually about 20 before I'm happy with myself even if no one shares my self-satisfaction - but one day... This from someone who wrote genre for 10 years and got fed up with being dictated to.

 

[Michiel Kroon]

Yeah I get both of your points AusGood and Chris. For me it’s a delicate balance: I don’t like writing for approval, but I do like to write in such a way that my message can reach many people. These two things are similar yet they are different. Getting approval certainly opens doors, but it’s more of a part of the process than a goal by itself. The main goal is reaching people with a message, and reflecting on the way I communicate is a part of that. It’s getting approval for the right reasons, without emotionally attaching to it so much, in this sense getting approval is having a successful communication.

I do think it’s good to reflect on what we write, not to put everything under a microscope, but to look at an overall project. Is the message coming across? For example, with the first book I wrote, Verbal Dancing, I can see now that the structure of it works really well, but I could work on my style of writing to give people more real life examples that they could relate to, more motivation to turn the page.

 

[Robinne Weiss]

Self-doubt goes with the territory. I try not to get too emotionally involved in any one piece of writing, because invariably someone is going to hate it, no matter how good it is. And, truth is, no matter how good it is, it can be improved. My job as the writer is to decide when it's good enough for me. When I am done tinkering with a piece, I'm done. Some pieces are never going to be what others want them to be. Some are never going to be what I want them to be. So when I stop learning new things from feedback, I move on to a new piece of writing, which will hopefully start at a better level than the previous one.

 

[Michiel Kroon]

Self-doubt goes with the territory. I try not to get too emotionally involved in any one piece of writing, because invariably someone is going to hate it, no matter how good it is. And, truth is, no matter how good it is, it can be improved. My job as the writer is to decide when it's good enough for me. When I am done tinkering with a piece, I'm done. Some pieces are never going to be what others want them to be. Some are never going to be what I want them to be. So when I stop learning new things from feedback, I move on to a new piece of writing, which will hopefully start at a better level than the previous one.

That’s a good point Robinne! There is a time to say ‘I’m done’. For my first book it took four years, of putting it aside and picking it up again many times. But then I came to a point where I was definitely done.

 

[Carol Rose]

What @Robinne Weiss said. Self-doubt is part of the game.

 

[Amber]

I feel it a lot sooner than the first edit.