For all you Cat-People...

[Emily]

I saw this and immediately thought of @Barbara 's giant, fluffy moggy... but perhaps this tip will come in handy for all Cat-Friendly-Litopians (of which I know there are many). Interestingly, this technique is remarkably similar to those employed when one has a baby attached to bosom or in a sling (I speaketh from rather a lot of experience on this matter).

 

[Barbara]

That's hilarious @Rainbird. Thank you for sharing.

Yes, my giant fluffy moggy would be an excellent (albeit too large) scarf. He even comes with a built in massage setting which some folk might call a purr.

But I have to say, even though he was on his best behaviour when you met him, he isn't as amenable as the cat in the clip as can be proven by my lacerations from the most recent flea treatment session. If I tried this jumper thing, he'd say 'how dare you disturb my creature comforts' (he'd say it in English - he's English through and through, not Swiss). He'd then slice me to bits, jump off my back, and sit by his food bowl. So I don't think this would be wise for me to try. Having said that, the mere thought of attempting this whole thing makes me break out in a hot sweat, so job done either way.

Have you tried changing your clothing while wearing one of with your cats?

 

[Emily]

No... Because the situation always unfolds like this: our two felines are simultaneously draping themselves around my head while I have at least one child attempt to follow suite and then the dog goes completely bonkers because some other creature is getting more attention than him. It never ends well. Recently, our lone drake has also been feeling a bit proprietary towards me (I'm the feeder, hence I'm Top Human) so I am just thankful he's not inside the house too (could be a worrying scenario. He's been giving me the eye. The "You'd make a suitable Mrs. Duck" eye )

as can be proven by my lacerations

Ouch

 

[Barbara]

The "You'd make a suitable Mrs. Duck" eye

Oh, dear. You're going to have to watch him.

 

[Emily]

You're going to have to watch him.

Oh, I am. With an equally beady eye...

 

[Barbara]

With an equally beady eye...

He might misunderstand that for keen interest. I suggest you find him a mate and pronto. In the meantime, any unwanted advances can be warded off by dangling orange sauce. But that's a last resort.

 

[Emily]

any unwanted advances can be warded off by dangling orange sauce.

Please tell me how you know that.

And would I dangle something in orange sauce to dangle in front of him?

 

[Barbara]

Please tell me how you know that.

Oh, one has to keep some things secret.

And would I dangle something in orange sauce to dangle in front of him?

Well, you could try dangling an actual fruit, but that might be a bit mean. Having said that, some ducks do have a good understanding of black humour, I've noticed.

Or you could sit near him and read a French cuisine book for a more subtle hint. Read out aloud: duck a l'orange …. Again, I won't tell you how I know that works. All I shall say is that it is amazing how fast one can run if pursued by a flock of ducks because one hasn't brought any food to the lake.

 

[Emily]

What excellent advice. I shall try it all. And will remember to always have an orange on my person and shout: "duck à l'orange!" when being pursued with intent.
(And I wonder why our neighbours think us odd... )

 

[Barbara]

And will remember to always have an orange on my person

FYI: crisps works for attacking cows. As a decoy, not a warning. I learnt that in childhood when many a time I had to hand over my lunch to stay alive. I can't remember what flavour crisps works best, but back then the choice in Swizzers was salted or paprika. Maybe try both to be on the safe side.

And I wonder why our neighbours think us odd...

Well, I recon they think you run a black-market, underground cake factory.

 

[Leonora]

FYI: crisps works for attacking cows. As a decoy, not a warning. I learnt that in childhood when many a time I had to hand over my lunch to stay alive. I can't remember what flavour crisps works best, but back then the choice in Swizzers was salted or paprika. Maybe try both to be on the safe side.

Well, I recon they think you run a black-market, underground cake factory.

Really? Crisps and cows? You might just have saved my life.

 

[Barbara]

Crisps and cows?

They love them. I think it's the salt. Joking aside, my mum, my sister and I were hounded by a large herd while on a hike in the mountains. I was five and still remember it. It was seriously scary. They just kept coming. We ended up having to sprinkle the crisps on the ground so that we could escape. It gave us enough time to run. In the mountains, they roam the pastures and it can be quite a while before you find a fence to jump.

 

[Leonora]

They love them. I think it's the salt. Joking aside, my mum, my sister and I were hounded by a large herd while on a hike in the mountains. I was five and still remember it. It was seriously scary. They just kept coming. We ended up having to sprinkle the crisps on the ground so that we could escape. It gave us enough time to run. In the mountains, they roam the pastures and it can be quite a while before you find a fence to jump.

I'm terrified of cows now. They always chase the dog, and a few people have been hurt or killed locally. It makes summer walks difficult as we live in cow central UK. I feel mean, but I'm always glad when they go inside for the winter.
Think you're right about the salt. They have licks, don't they?

 

[Barbara]

I'm terrified of cows now. They always chase the dog, and a few people have been hurt or killed locally. It makes summer walks difficult as we live in cow central UK. I feel mean, but I'm always glad when they go inside for the winter.
Think you're right about the salt. They have licks, don't they?

Sounds like you have the tough types where you are.

 

[Emily]

my mum, my sister and I were hounded by a large herd while on a hike in the mountains.

I'm freaked at the mere thought of that. How terrifying.
‘

They always chase the dog, and a few people have been hurt or killed locally.

Bloody hell. Supersonic cows?

I read a book a few years ago, written by Hare Krishnas (In Devon, I think), called 'Cows and the Earth'. It was the most beautiful, profound book. I've never looked at cows the same way (iykwim!). Could be very healing after your event Barbara

 

[Barbara]

From cat jumpers to crisp eating killer cows. This has been a rather unusual, and may I say very entertaining yet at times mildly scary, conversation so far. Very enjoyable. I wonder what's next?

 

[Emily]

I will endeavour to find something suitably thrilling for you, my little Swiss Cheese

 

[Barbara]

something suitably thrilling

You never know what that duck is up to while you're asleep.

 

[Robinne Weiss]

LOL! You would catch my cat that close to a human being, let alone tolerate that sort of manhandling! Occasionally, he deigns to sit next to me on the couch or window seat. More often he jumps up beside me and then attacks viciously to make me move out of his way (doesn't work--I fight right back, even though I'm the one who ends up losing blood over it)

 

[Emily]

You never know what that duck is up to while you're asleep.

A distressing thought I was half dressed one morning and flung open the curtains. There he was, perched outside the window (he's a tree duck and perches up high). Very disconcerting to be half naked and ogled by a duck.

 

[Emily]

@Robinne Weiss , we had a male cat who was exactly the same. He would rest on a shelf in the porch and swipe at us as we passed.

 

[Barbara]

(he's a tree duck and perches up high).

A tree duck?? Are you sure there is such a thing? I think this duck guy of your is making excuses, as in 'Oh, er, I'm supposed to be in the tree, staring at you. I'm a tree duck. Didn't you know? That's what they do. I'm a proper Canardius Intreearis Ogleous.'

You definitely need an orange.

And you might want to get yourself some good net curtsins. Or stop cleaning the bedroom windows. It's the same effect but more cost effective.

Or hire Robinne's cat as a bodyguard.

 

[Emily]

A tree duck?? Are you sure there is such a thing?

Strangely... there is He's a south-American tree duck, a muscovy. Not the most beautiful of creatures. But full of... personality

 

[Barbara]

He's a south-American

Ah, that might be the source of your problem. You need to speak Spanish with him. Remember the bloke in that clip of yours and his jumper instructions to the cat? He said use he right language. Maybe Rich could have a word with your duck?

 

[Robinne Weiss]

Or hire Robinne's cat as a bodyguard.

No need to hire him. Anyone willing to take him is welcome to him ... especially as I ponder what to do with him during our upcoming two months of homelessness. He doesn't travel well. Last time I had to take him to the vet (a 12 minute drive), he broke out of his pet carrier three times and ended up so wild by the time we arrived, that the vet refused to touch him.

 

[Barbara]

No need to hire him. Anyone willing to take him is welcome to him ... especially as I ponder what to do with him during our upcoming two months of homelessness. He doesn't travel well. Last time I had to take him to the vet (a 12 minute drive), he broke out of his pet carrier three times and ended up so wild by the time we arrived, that the vet refused to touch him.

Oh wow. He really means business, that cat. I can see why you wouldn't want to wear him around your neck.

Homelessness. I hope that's just a figure of speech. Are you refurbishing the house?

 

[Leonora]

LOL! You would catch my cat that close to a human being, let alone tolerate that sort of manhandling! Occasionally, he deigns to sit next to me on the couch or window seat. More often he jumps up beside me and then attacks viciously to make me move out of his way (doesn't work--I fight right back, even though I'm the one who ends up losing blood over it)

I hear you. Though our cat is mellowing with age.

 

[Leonora]

I hear you. Though our cat is mellowing with age.

She no longer pees in my husband's hat.

 

[Robinne Weiss]

Homelessness. I hope that's just a figure of speech. Are you refurbishing the house?

We settle on the sale of our current house on 27 March and our new house won't be finished until 22 May. At this point, we don't know where we'll be living in those two months. The cat makes it quite difficult to find a medium-term rental (I'll sell the goats, and the chickens can live at the new property and just be checked on every couple of days). So, no, I don't expect to be entirely without a roof over our heads (and in any case, we can always live in the shed on the new property, though we'll have to do it around all our stuff that will be stored in there), but it's going to be stressful and awful, no matter what. The vet has suggested hormone therapy for the cat, so he'll chill out and deal better with moving twice in two months. But that involves giving him a pill daily ... that'll be fun.

 

[Barbara]

The vet has suggested hormone therapy for the cat, so he'll chill out and deal better with moving twice in two months. But that involves giving him a pill daily ... that'll be fun.

Have you heard of Feliway? It's a spray you can use on their bedding. It calms them down. I spray it into the carrier when I have to take mine to the vet.