Help Please! Dust jacket synopsis

[K.J. Simmill]

Hi all, I was wondering if I could get some honest opinions on my synopsis if you have the time, I have never really felt confident in writing them

Book title: Darrienia

It is said that the past always returns to haunt you. Yet some forgotten pasts have whispered names and a debt for collection. Dangerous curiosities stir a hidden darkness, one that patiently waits to seize control.

Within the layers of a divine game the boundaries of reality change, ancient creatures once again resurface from their slumber, and beings that should dwell only within Darrienia threaten to pierce the veil to the waking world.

Everything hangs in a delicate balance, and the dangers faced, as the chosen heroes gather the means to release those who protect the boundaries, are as deadly as those encountered in their own world, perhaps even more so.

Darkness has a way of masking that which would otherwise be seen, and the God Night, orchestrator of this peril, is a master of such distortion. Nothing is ever as it seems, especially when every action is gently influenced to unlock an unimaginable terror as he guides the chosen to his true ambition. Their actions rousing something far older and more dangerous than the threat they first perceived, its awakening would herald the end and beginning of all.

Hidden secrets, avoided truths, lost in the tides of time and the darkness of denial, test the fragile bonds of trust. The frailty of friendship tested beyond its limits as the true repercussions of their actions lie hidden.
Will they discover the truth in time? Or will those that should be heroes, become nothing more than the pawns of evil?


Thank you for taking the time, realistically I should have given it to my beta readers before they read the book for their opinion, but since they have read it and thus know the workings of the plot, I don't think they would be able to offer a fair opinion.

I keep alternating between whether I want the paragraph starting "Everything hands in a delicate balance" included or not. I think it is needed.

Anyway, I would be interested to hear your thoughts. Thanks again. xx

 

[Alistair Roberts]

I'm no expert and probably should ask for a similar response regarding my own synopsis. However as I understand it, this is like a blurb or a way of getting people interested in the story and not a synopsis as such. If what I've read and done is correct, they want a layout of the novel and mention of the characters so that it is an actual storyline. Even the ending should be given and not kept from them. Thats my two cents, or pennies worth

 

[K.J. Simmill]

Thanks I appreciate you taking the time to respond I have one of those prepared and used it to submitto several agents.
I did a post a while back and it was thought that due to my novel size my only option is self publishing, as the book itself doesn't appear to want to be split. On that advice I am polishing my back of book synopsis as I prepare.
I am of course still hoping for a favourable response, but I have set some target dates for next year and wondered how this rated for the back of a book cover

 

[Alistair Roberts]

As back of a book cover I'd think it would do well and be appropriate. It is not going to hurt to self publish, if no publisher or agent wants to look at it due to size. I recall the problem you have trying to turn it into 2 or 3 novels of a more acceptable size. In the long run, I'd be going with either gut instinct, or listen to your guides/muse/angels. If in doubt, the latter will give you guidance, but you probably know that.

 

[Katie-Ellen]

Alistair said it, K.J. What you've got there is a blurb, not a synopsis. I think it's a promising draft blurb, but it's confusing in places. I think it needs strict pruning to about a third of the length to punch its weight. You'll get there.

 

[K.J. Simmill]

Thanks everyone for the feedback

 

[Richard Sutton]

KTLN has it right. I can concur. As a book cover designer, I find that fewer words allow for more impactful (is that a word?) design which makes the back cover a more effective selling tool

 

[K.J. Simmill]

Thanks everyone for your feedback. It means a lot that you would spend the time to help me.

I also keep wondering which reads better, those that would be heroes, or the more grammatically correct those who would be heroes
To me I think the word that, in this case adds something to the sentance.
Each seems to hold appeal for me so I am having difficulty deciding.

Anyway thanks again I appreciate it.

 

[Katie-Ellen]

Those who would be heroes.

 

[Tim Bennett]

For sure...those who. I'd also try and condense it to no more than three paragraphs.

 

[Katie-Ellen]

Sometimes I find I'm too close to a thing, can't see what needs fixing and need a bit of space. When I look at it again it smacks me in the chops.

 

[Alistair Roberts]

I'm no expect, but as far as a dust-jacket cover, when self publishing I approached this entirely different. Probably my situation is very different, a 16th century story-teller who also writes poetry and stories. In short I put one of 'hers' on the rear cover. It's a small part of the story, and hopefully teases the mind to read more, i.e. this. >
Loch Lomond,
long and wide,
depth of water
histories melody.
Standing on her shore,
the view resplendent
I am me own muse
eternity whispers to me.
But I am the learner,
as much as I am the teacher,
I am histories voice.
Can it touch ye too.
Rippled water
reflections of what was,
of what will be.
Even Gawain stood here with me.
My future is nay too easy
but in truth I'd have it nay other way
journeys ultimate sacrifice
shall propel me forwards.
Content I am
me soul complete
while I need nay one
but wish well for all.
May Loch Lomond give ye the same serenity.

PS this was for my third novel, 'Merlin and Ceridwen'.