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Blog Post: Detritus in Paradise

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Detritus in Paradise

Thinking back to January 2021…

I was feeling rather stodgy after Christmas excess, and Mrs. Treaclechops had a touch of winter blues, so we decided on a stroll along Wychall Reservoir in south Birmingham. It was a mild 10℃ with a sky of intermittent light cloud and bright sunshine.

Not a great variety of wildlife in the city at this time of year… a gang of pigeons, a mob of magpies and a couple of ubiquitous grey squirrels. It was sad to see about 50 items of litter on our route. These included beer cans, plastic bottles, carrier bags… and a full dog-poo bag which had been lobbed into the branches of a tree.

I reckon there’s a sub-species of homo sapiens that lives among us, and they are responsible for all the carelessly discarded rubbish in the world. They make up about 10% of the population in all cultures regardless of skin tone, religious persuasion or bank balance, and are closely related to the Orcs of ‘Lord of the Rings’ fame.

After our walk, we had lunch in an upmarket cafe in Bournville Village. It was full of trendy upwardly-mobile young types and a few trendy not-so-upward-or-mobile old types. Fortunately, I didn’t look too out of place with my bohemian flat cap and rustic walking stick. It was rather crowded, and we had to sit close to the front door which was constantly being opened allowing cold air to intrude. We didn’t mind this, because it hopefully dispersed any foul virus particles that might have settled on us (or in us).

We both had smoked salmon and scrambled egg with salad and sourdough bread, and shared a pot of Assam tea. All very nice, but rather expensive… such is life in an upmarket world. It was a well-run establishment with professional young staff. Always pleasing to encounter good service.

Afterwards, we had a wander around the local shops. There was an old-fashioned butcher and an old-fashioned baker… couldn’t find an old-fashioned candlestick maker though. The small shopping area is a throwback to the early 20th century… arts and crafts architecture and quaint old ambiance. We bought home-made scotch eggs, pork pasties and a couple of fancy cakes for a later treat.

There was also a wool shop (very rare these days), and Mrs Treaclechops couldn’t resist having a meander round it. While she did this, I lingered in the midday sun and watched the world go by. Important to take advantage of the vitamin D available in winter sunshine… such a scarce commodity in these climes. I sat on a stone wall, but only lasted about 15 minutes due to developing a very cold bum. I then retreated to the car to read my Kindle while waiting for her to return with a shopping bag full of wool… which may or may not get used at some point in the future.

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ocean currents churn…

a northern royal albatross

feeds plastic to her chick

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I drove from Greece into Albania, and saw a riverbank so covered in rubbish I genuinely thought it was an art installation. Off-white…stuff… hung from every bush and tree branch, crowding up both river banks, covering stones, and extending about twenty feet on either side where flooding had occurred.

Some googling later told me the sad story. Only two-thirds of Albania’s rubbish is collected. Everyone else has to just dump theirs. And riverbanks are free land, apparently, so that’s where they leave it. The white stuff was decades-old plastic.

As I drove the length of the country, I saw people pulling up in their cars and emptying sacks of the stuff into the river. There’s no recycling, and most of it (that which doesn’t end up wrapped around trees) floats out to sea, causing outrage further up the coast in Dubrovnik. it was distressing to witness.

But then I came back to the UK and accompanied my old and disabled friend on her daily walk down a local cycle-path. She took a black plastic sack and a long-handled grab-it and, as is her weekly habit, picked up every bit of litter she passed.

It doesn’t balance out, but for a moment there, the bleak winter sun shone a little brighter.
 
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