It's that time of year. Top 50 or Top 10 this and that...
Just for fun, here's my top 10 2022 beta reading gripes.
10. ...began to...
Like splats of noodle soup going all over my clothes - it's infuriating. If a character begins something, it should get interrupted. Otherwise they don't begin, they just do the thing. The weirdest use of this is when the action is by definition the beginning of a movement, like: She began to walk away. Walking away is the start of walking. Obvs.
9. Fat shaming
I can tell when a secondary character is going to be pitied, sneered at, or even downright hated, because the writer will refer to their flabby belly/recent weight gain/portly figure/plump hands at any given opportunity.
I hold my stomach in and wear a tight belt for huddles, cos I fear what all my flab-outing peers will do if they suspect I gained a clothes size during lockdown. Big yikes!
8. Making the same point or expressing the same emotion four times in quick succession using slightly different wording...
...and hoping it drives the point home harder.
It doesn't.
I just get my yellow marker out.
7. Fell on deaf ears, and turned a blind eye
Disability rights activists have spent decades destroying myths and challenging assumptions. Disabled people have re-branded from a disregarded invisible inconvenience, into communities whose voices are heard, and whose life challenges are automatically factored in when buildings are designed, events are planned etc.
So, why do writers keep coming out with these dated phrases that imply that blindness and deafness are acts put on by characters who want to be ignorant or obstruct others?
6. While we're at it, stop your characters turning on their heel.
No bugger actually does this.
Ditto, characters pricking their ears. (Unless they're a cat or fox.)
5. "Unshaven" men
Anyone would think it's the 1950s and that Brad Pitt and other A-list celebs weren't sporting facial foliage, not to mention most of the guys you'll see out and about in shops, cafes etc. Beards are mainstream. Stubble is more common than scraped chins for guys under 60. Moustaches are maintained beyond Movember.
Yet, I've lost count of the number of manuscripts recently in which a man is described as "unshaven" as shorthand for him neglecting his appearance or even, being devious and creepy. It makes me want to shred paper, build a nest and shut the world out.
4. Who the hell just spoke?
A character speaks, then a second character thinks about what's been said, or even replies. All in the same fucking paragraph.
It's even worse when names aren't used and they share a pronoun. She said this... She was shocked...
This female reading the paragraph is just confused.
3. Narrow palette of body language to draw from
I've seen more stomachs twist in knots, chills run up spines and clenched teeth this year than in the whole decade previous. Neck hair is also very active at the moment.
2. Framing/spotlighting a baddie
If you think I can't figure out that Boris is a wrong-un because he steals from work, sells drugs to kids, hits his girlfriend and shoots eagles, and you feel the need to explain that he's an unsympathetic character, you should sell your laptop and take up another hobby.
Not really, I'm being melodramatic.
Just stop, though.
1. Showing, then after-telling
There's a place for telling; we know this because Craft Chat said so. The place for telling is in beautifully written narrative sections that move the plot along a bit faster, or make us laugh.
If one of your characters bares their soul and shows, though clever dialogue and actions, how they feel, don't ruin it by plonking a line straight afterwards writersplaining in your most patronising way, what they've just done.
Because I will call you out on it.
End of rant.
Just for fun, here's my top 10 2022 beta reading gripes.
10. ...began to...
Like splats of noodle soup going all over my clothes - it's infuriating. If a character begins something, it should get interrupted. Otherwise they don't begin, they just do the thing. The weirdest use of this is when the action is by definition the beginning of a movement, like: She began to walk away. Walking away is the start of walking. Obvs.
9. Fat shaming
I can tell when a secondary character is going to be pitied, sneered at, or even downright hated, because the writer will refer to their flabby belly/recent weight gain/portly figure/plump hands at any given opportunity.
I hold my stomach in and wear a tight belt for huddles, cos I fear what all my flab-outing peers will do if they suspect I gained a clothes size during lockdown. Big yikes!
8. Making the same point or expressing the same emotion four times in quick succession using slightly different wording...
...and hoping it drives the point home harder.
It doesn't.
I just get my yellow marker out.
7. Fell on deaf ears, and turned a blind eye
Disability rights activists have spent decades destroying myths and challenging assumptions. Disabled people have re-branded from a disregarded invisible inconvenience, into communities whose voices are heard, and whose life challenges are automatically factored in when buildings are designed, events are planned etc.
So, why do writers keep coming out with these dated phrases that imply that blindness and deafness are acts put on by characters who want to be ignorant or obstruct others?
6. While we're at it, stop your characters turning on their heel.
No bugger actually does this.
Ditto, characters pricking their ears. (Unless they're a cat or fox.)
5. "Unshaven" men
Anyone would think it's the 1950s and that Brad Pitt and other A-list celebs weren't sporting facial foliage, not to mention most of the guys you'll see out and about in shops, cafes etc. Beards are mainstream. Stubble is more common than scraped chins for guys under 60. Moustaches are maintained beyond Movember.
Yet, I've lost count of the number of manuscripts recently in which a man is described as "unshaven" as shorthand for him neglecting his appearance or even, being devious and creepy. It makes me want to shred paper, build a nest and shut the world out.
4. Who the hell just spoke?
A character speaks, then a second character thinks about what's been said, or even replies. All in the same fucking paragraph.
It's even worse when names aren't used and they share a pronoun. She said this... She was shocked...
This female reading the paragraph is just confused.
3. Narrow palette of body language to draw from
I've seen more stomachs twist in knots, chills run up spines and clenched teeth this year than in the whole decade previous. Neck hair is also very active at the moment.
2. Framing/spotlighting a baddie
If you think I can't figure out that Boris is a wrong-un because he steals from work, sells drugs to kids, hits his girlfriend and shoots eagles, and you feel the need to explain that he's an unsympathetic character, you should sell your laptop and take up another hobby.
Not really, I'm being melodramatic.
Just stop, though.
1. Showing, then after-telling
There's a place for telling; we know this because Craft Chat said so. The place for telling is in beautifully written narrative sections that move the plot along a bit faster, or make us laugh.
If one of your characters bares their soul and shows, though clever dialogue and actions, how they feel, don't ruin it by plonking a line straight afterwards writersplaining in your most patronising way, what they've just done.
Because I will call you out on it.
End of rant.
