Not me. I can only say I see swords of the mind, but detect no karmic debt.
No Judgement card. No Justice card. No World, no Fool. These are karmic cards.
There's a duality here, a sense that 'air' ie, intellect, perhaps therefore your academic writing, threatens to hinder you, trammel you when it comes to writing fiction. That you have the vision, and the will to do the work, but there's been a lot on your plate, plus a hyper-critical habit of discipline renders a sense of stalemate; frustration, feeling un-free.
But it can be done. Try a poem too for the hell of it. But make it free form.
I imagine you laid waste to a number of small nations, and perhaps also forced vast numbers of innocent souls into the outer darkness where there is wailing and gnashing of teeth. Or maybe you were a politician.
I try to draw a line and commit to making decisions that will not hurt people, but this is only 100% effective if I box myself in and don't let myself out. I've seen the mess left behind when people give in to their selfish urges, but that doesn't mean that I've been able to completely kill the little demon inside me. I'm pretty sure that this is what she looks like:
Maybe we need to commune with those demons in order to express in our writing the richness of the truth of the absolute.