Silly pitches...

[Rich.]

[I'll stop now]

 

[Barbara]

Gone with the Yarn.

 

[Barbara]

[I'll stop now]

We ought to. We'll have Flumpo-cop, the robot, after us.

 

[Rich.]

Now I have that tune in my head, thank you. Was it Huey Lewis?

The very same.

Could we meet the Flumps with any Schwarzenegger film? Woolinator 2, or something, maybe?

The Woolinator. Genius on genius.

"I'll be knit."

 

[Rich.]

Flump, starring Sigourney Weaver (in space no one can hear you knit).

 

[Rich.]

We'll have Flumpo-cop ... after us.

Enough. I can't breathe. I think I need a lie down.

 

[Barbara]

One last one from me (for the today, at least) comes from Liam Neeson:

If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have Flumps. But what I do have are a very particular set of knitting skills, knitting skills I have acquired over making a very long scarf. My needles make me a nightmare for people like you.

Good night.

 

[Rich.]

*mic drop* I can't top that!

 

[Rich.]

(We slid off into films. If anyone would like to bring us back to books, please do...)

War and Peace meets Gone Girl. It's this great sweeping society epic, a passionate love story, and an unreliable narrator who tells you half way through that it's actually 50 Shades Of Grey.

 

[Barbara]

I wonder what The Shining's elevator pitch was.

Stephen K meets a publisher in an elevator: 'I've got this really good novel. Please listen. It about this hotel and it has this lift which goes up and down for no reason, and blood pours out of it and...'

 

[Robinne Weiss]

This is the sort of erudite conversation I love here in Litopia ... *snorts her coffee out her nose*

 

[CageSage]

snorts her coffee out her nose

I had to replace the coffee twice - didn't realise it went onto two pages!!! Kept losing the plot, had to abandon the cup, too easy to picture; haven't laughed so hard since -- maybe ever!

 

[Ancora Imparo]

Die Hard with fairies.

Sounds pretty daft, but actually it's a genuine pitch: Eoin Colfer's for his Artemis Fowl series.

I LOVED Artemis Fowl – and that's exactly what it is: Die Hard with fairies. Brilliant. I might have to re-read them now you've reminded me.

What about Fifty Shades meets the Carry On films... we could call it Penile Dementia.

Crocodile Dundee meets The Witches of Eastwick: Bondi bitches

 

[RK Wallis]

Or what about that Jim Butcher dare? - the Roman Empire meets Pokemon aka the bestselling Furies of Calderon.

The Great Gatsby meets Fifty Shades, Jay and Daisy's relationship enters a new phase.

 

[KateESal]

I Will Not Ever Never Eat A Tomato (Lauren Child) written by James Herbert would be interesting

 

[Hannah Faoileán]

The Flumps meets Pride and Prejudice. It's about this little knitted girl who just can't get a date.

But a marshmallow treat named after her: now that's a different story!

 

[Rich.]

I Will Not Ever Never Eat A Tomato (Lauren Child) written by James Herbert would be interesting

Interesting indeed!

Now, books written by other writers, that's a new direction.

Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe by Lee Child. Less chat, more violence.

(My head hurts just thinking about that. Apologies to Fannie Flagg.)

 

[N J Sturgess]

The Exorcist meets Father Ted would be mine.

Mainly because I have no idea how amazingly good or bad that could turn out.

 

[Rich.]

"I think she might be possessed. Do you think she might be possessed?"
"I think she might be."
"Do you think?"
"I think you might have to exorcise her."
"No. Really? No, I don't think I'll be doing that."
"Ah go on, go on, go on..."

 

[KateESal]

My 7 yo just owned this thread.

Lord Of The Rings featuring The Mr Men

"And against Mr Tickle, Little Miss Helpful sent her bow-men, her swordsmen and her axemen..."

(That's a genuine piece of the story he was telling us this morning. I actually cried with laughter.)

 

[Jonny]

Little fella... furry feet... lives in a hole... likes his grub.

One day a wizard turns up... tells little guy about a ring his uncle gave him that can save the world.

Little fella gets a bit windy and...

No no no... hang on, this is too far-fetched. No one's ever gonna go with it...

Oh well, back to the drawing board. I'll work on my other idea about Vampire Grannies from Alpha Centauri