Craft Chat SEPTEMBER – HOW WE EDIT

[Ancora Imparo]

Welcome to this month’s Craft Chat: How We Edit. We all do this differently when honing our manuscripts, but there are some editing processes it's good to know. Please share your own experience, whatever you've learned that works for you.

As before, the discussion thread will be open for FIVE DAYS from when we post the Chat. Let us know your thoughts and experiences. If you disagree with anything, that’s fine. Tell us why. We love hearing from you. All opinions are welcome and valid additions to our learning. Keep it civil.
Rachel (RK Capps), Galadriel, Kay (Ancora Imparo)

EDITING
Writers fight their inner critic every time they put pen to paper. At any stage of our writing lives, first drafts vomit our raw ideas onto the page, especially if we’re brave and ignore the inner critic nagging for perfection. Write hot and fast, edit slow and steady. Therefore, our first drafts become the writer equivalent of the sculptor’s unshaped clay.

Once we gain some distance and objectivity, we need to roll our sleeves up, tuck into editing and shape our clay. We have many tools at our disposal for this task. In fact, we’re spoilt for choice. A few of the tools I use may or may not suit you, but I hope they inspire you. I invite everyone to share their favourite tools. We’re excited to read them.

My favourites include:

• Kay (Ancora Imparo) taught me to focus on last word of sentences. I’ve since read this advice, so you may have as well. The last word of a sentence chimes in the reader’s brain. Not only is the last word more memorable than the previous words in the sentence, but it ends your sentence on a strong note.

Vomit: I count seventeen petals and notice no more.​

Edit: : I count fewer than seventeen petals.​

• I’ll search for sentences with “by.” With this search, I might find words like “baby”. I skim that, but catch phrases where simple reorganisation enhances reading (sometimes passive voice, sometimes not). For example:

Vomit: We climb off the path, slipping into the shadows of a small grove, sheltered by a canopy of gum trees.​

Let's consider how we could improve this. Just recognising the passive phrase doesn’t mean a straight fix completes our sentence. It doesn’t.​

The passive phrase: sheltered by a canopy of gum trees.​

If we fix just the passive phrase of the sentence, we get this:​

Passive phrase fix: We climb off the path, slipping into the shadows of a small grove, a canopy of gum trees sheltering us.​

Why isn’t this enough? Each phrase, each sentence, each paragraph must lead into the next. As Dwight Swaine writes in his book, Techniques of the Selling Writer (paraphrased), “meaning must be instantaneous.” And by just fixing the passive phrase IMHO, it isn't. In this sentence, the reader should know there are trees before there are shadows.​

Final Edit: We climb off the path, slip into a grove of gum trees, the canopy of their shadows sheltering us.​

Another simple example of removing words to strengthen a sentence:​

Vomit: Someone grips me by the arm.​

Edit: Someone grips my arm.​

• I'm on a constant prowl for implied words. These words sneak into our WIPs like cockroaches, and we need to exterminate them. An example from an old WIP:

Vomit: Cool morning fog swirls around me, caressing me.​

​

Is the 'around me' necessary? Or is it implied? We should avoid telling readers what they know or intuit, and that means considering every word.​

​

Edit: Cool morning fog swirls, caressing me.​

Written "I nodded my head"? Cut that back to "I nodded," for what else do you nod? Written "I stand up," cut that to "I stand." Written "I sit down," cut that to "I sit." The "up" and "down" are implied. Stay alert for words that are implied.​

• Pace is something else I monitor. Am I varying the pace? On a blog years ago, I read pace described as a wave. I actually pictured a radio wave. The waves start deep, go up and down, then get smaller and faster. Tiffany Yates Martin (Pop Ups guest) has a good analogy when talking about momentum and pace:

Momentum is how well the manuscript propels readers through the story; pace is the speed at which it does. Both Niagara Falls and the Mississippi River have momentum, but each is moving at a very different pace. You can think of momentum as a function of story, pace as a function of scene.​

Martin, Tiffany Yates. Intuitive Editing: A Creative and Practical Guide to Revising Your Writing (p. 175). E3 Press. Kindle Edition.​

• Telegraphing: Another TYM piece of advice and something I avoid, and her words are better than I could write:

Another version of showing and telling, where the author steals her own thunder by telling readers what is going to happen or how a situation resolves before going on to show it. This deflates tension and robs the reader of the pleasure of seeing the story unfold before us; if you already tell us what’s coming, why do we need to read on?​

Martin, Tiffany Yates. Intuitive Editing: A Creative and Practical Guide to Revising Your Writing (pp. 217-218). E3 Press. Kindle Edition.​

• Weed out crutch words. Our brain baby vomits up words we end up repeating, and in order to keep stories moving in first drafts, we should repeat them. But it's important to be aware of them, for we need to come back and polish the mess (and this might take a few drafts), i.e. just, only etc.

Sure, we don't have to do this. We might self-publish, but then discerning readers could roast us in reviews, or worse, we won't gain traction from word-of-mouth. If we choose to traditionally publish, our premise may be strong enough to get the attention of an agent. But when they approach a publisher, our book needs to get past a committee. At that stage, if we haven't weeded out our crutch, odds are some discerning readers will shut us out.​

​

So, beat the crowd and replace your crutch words with different and interesting verbs. Do you know your crutch words? My challenging crutch word is 'stare.' Geez, I hate that word. I often replace it with some other action, but I can't get rid of it. Plus, my comps use it and that's the audience I'm targeting. What do your comps do? If you search your comps, Kindle counts repetitions. Let your comps be your guide.​

• I lastly offer food for thought from Shaelin’s prof (video below) re: weasel words like “just” and “now.” Obviously, this is his perspective and because I can’t find the video, I’ll paraphrase. When you remove weasel words 1. you can see your story, and 2. differentiate it from everyone who keeps their weasel words.

Further watching:



Rachel


WORD TRIMMING
I avoid any cutting until the story has a definite shape and length (Take a look at the link at the bottom to see what the average length of a novel is expected to be). In my eyes, it’s better to write up and then cut as opposed to scrabbling about trying to increase the word count.

Reasons to Trim:
1. Too many words in your novel, full-stop. See link at the bottom.
2. Too many unnecessary words. This includes purple prose, excessive use of filter words, and overly repeated words including tautological sentences.
3. Repetitive scenes and/ or dialogue.
4. Less is often more when it comes to describing action and plot.

Looking at the Draft as a whole
My first novel originally ran to just over 140K; far too many words for a YA. Yet, every time I worked on it, it would manifest more words.
In the end, I paid an editor to look over it. It wasn’t cheap as I recall, but he delivered precise insight.
The fault lay in not being clear about what I wanted the story to be about. I was dithering with more than one main thread, and overcomplicating with various subplots. I didn’t even have the excuse that it was a first draft.
I had to slash, not trim. I picked out one storyline (which surprisingly evolved naturally into the “right” one), and relegated everything else to my outtakes folder.
Thousands of words lighter, I had a clean and clear structure to rebuild. After, when the work feels solid with a clear beginning, middle and end, I’ll comb through my chapters.

I’ve covered point 1. The next is a refinement of it. I’m looking closely at what’s going on in chapters and scenes. I examine at sentence and paragraph level first, then I’ll scan individual words.

Purple prose: I’ve been guilty of this. It’s overly descriptive writing. For example, it’s unnecessary to whitter on for several paragraphs about the landscape your protagonist is experiencing. You don’t need to infill the reader’s brain with every detail. Firm strokes and a dabble of detail is often better (there’s always exceptions. The old adage is: know the rules before you break them). The reader wants to be propelled into the narrative’s action and what the characters are doing. Being held up in descriptions of weather and setting impede the flow.

Excessive use of filter words: these are sensory words such as: saw, tasted, heard, felt, and thought processes such as wondered, thought, realised, heard. They often follow pronouns: I heard, we thought, he decided, etc. Some use is fine, but if you’re peppering your writing with several of these in a paragraph alone, chances are you keep reminding the reader that they are reading a story rather than being immersed in it; you’re telling, not showing. It’s the same as purple prose, too much explaining.

Overly repeated words including tautological sentences: these can chime in your reader’s head and clutter prose. If you’re using Word, you can use the find and replace function to ring the changes on repeated words. Let’s say you want to see how many times you’ve used the word “then.” Word will highlight its use, and if it appears several times on a page, it may (depending on the word class), be irritating for a reader.
Example:
Overuse of (or the same) discourse markers, such as “then,” “after,” and “later.”
Overuse of adverbs, such as “really,” “hopelessly,” and “lazily.”
Or you might find “clump” is your go to word for describing anything from grass to a character’s hair. Omit or change.
Tautological sentences are repeating the same thing using different words. It’s a device that can work powerfully in a speech or poetry. In prose, the writer must make a judgement about whether to trim such words. The ones below are unnecessary.
Examples:
My tea is scorching hot.
Night is dark and black.
“Can you repeat the instructions again?”
The reader wants to be propelled forward.

Repetitive Scenes and / or Dialogue
In the thick of writing, this is easily done. Scenes and dialogue must advance the story, not go over old ground. Scenes that are similar, especially the ones that “over-egg the cake.”

Less is often more when it comes to describing action and plot
Consider how many scenes you actually need to achieve a coherent story that doesn’t disappear amid a heap of subplots. Being too clever can lead to a story that is overly complicated. Be active and be ruthless! Stick them in your outtakes folder.

Now read your work aloud
That is a fool-proof way of testing to see what errors remain. If you’re tripping over reading it aloud, your sentences may be too long, too convoluted; more word cutting (or punctuation – but that’s for another CC) perhaps. Not every sentence has to be long; not every sentence has to be short; balance.
And finally, be mindful that over-trimming exists. Too much can flatten your writing and deaden your prose ( I believe that’s a tautological sentence ).


How Long Should My Novel Be? | Writers & Artists (writersandartists.co.uk)

(357) Cutting Words: How You Can Delete 50,000 Words From Your Book - YouTube
Galadriel


HOW I EDIT
Rough order of editing I’m in the UK. Our US colleagues may use different terminology. Also, this process isn’t set in stone but I’m assuming you don’t work in a publishing or magazine office where you can hand the ms over to colleagues for a 2nd and 3rd (or 5th and 6th) read. Editing your own work is harder but, unless you can afford to pay an editor, you have to do it. Please put aside the idea that your agent or publisher will “sort it all out”. Apart from being breathtakingly arrogant and naïve, trust me: Those Days Are Gone.

Write the book. You may be the type who edits as you go along. That’s a hard habit to break so if it makes you feel better, go ahead. Generally, if you close edit while still rewriting, you’re probably wasting your time honing words and scenes that may yet be cut. But it’s your time.

Make sure you format your ms document, too. No tabular indents for new paragraphs, or using the space bar, that kind of thing. Be professional from the start.

Put the ms aside. Some people put the finished book aside for a while. This depends on your deadlines. A day, week, month … six months … whatever you’re comfortable with. Writer Stephen King suggests six weeks. That gives you a bit of distance from your own work and makes it easier to spot character anomalies and glaring plot holes you blithely jumped over in the rush to reach The End.

Read it over (first read) – preferably aloud. I try to do this when I won’t be disturbed. Difficult, I know, with our busy lives but it helps if I have some peace and quiet to read and think about whether it all makes sense, if the plot works or is too weak around the mid-point, if the conflict rises towards the end, if characters are strong enough, etc. Whose point of view is the story told from? Have I jumped from first-person pov to omniscient? Check for this kind of thing.

This first read is where I think about the big picture and what can be strengthened: does the structure work? (Is there a discernible storyline or just disparate scenes populated by the same characters?) Is there enough regular conflict? Are there enough hooks / questions / promises to hold the reader? Have I answered all questions, tied up all loose ends? Does the story make sense? Are there plot holes or weaknesses I thought I’d “get away with”? Don’t short-change your reader. Mend the plot holes.

Are the characters three-dimensional or too stereotypical? What about their personal arcs? Do they have one? Is the dialogue wooden? Work on improving it (again, reading aloud helps). Have you hit the right tropes for your genre? The right beats for your romance? The right techno-speak for your sci-fi? Enough blood for your vampires? Readers of every genre have certain expectations. Have you met them? Can you exceed them?

This is the point where I re-read my manuscript notesbook/s (you know the ones I mean), where I’ve been jotting down thoughts, ideas, expressions, characteristics for this story … and if I spot any little gems I’ve omitted from the first draft, I insert them. Anything that makes the ms sparkle.

Do any rewrites you think will improve the prose, pace or structure of the story. Look for superfluous words. Look for the same thing said twice but in a different way. Look for adjectives and adverbs that don’t add a damn thing to the sentence. Look for scenes and characters that don’t add a damn thing to the story. These are harder to cut. Be ruthless. If a character you like is just a sidekick / foil to the main character, cut them. Dialogue – is it weak and waffly or sharp and focussed? Does it take the story forward or meander round the houses because you’ve lost the plot and hope a long conversation about nothing might reunite you? Tighten all dialogue.

If you have a sub-plot, the first read-over is where you can check it makes sense within the overall structure of the story. Does it sit within the main story or read as a completely separate plot? If so, think of ways to strengthen it so it merges seamlessly with the main storyline. Have you seeded carefully? If you have red herrings dotted throughout the story, do they make their own kind of sense? Don’t add misdirection for the sake of it. Everything is stronger if there is a good reason for it being in the story, especially if it’s to misdirect the reader. If your mystery / thriller has floating clues, anchor them to something or cut them.

Think about the ending. Is it strong enough? Think about the beginning. Is it strong enough? Is there a way you can connect them, subtly? If not, don’t stress about it. It’s just an idea.

Have a break.

Read the ms again (second read). Repeat the above. If you haven't checked for repetition, check now. The ms is a bit cleaner and repeat words jump out more, especially if you're reading aloud. One writer I knew had no idea his characters "walked" everywhere. "Looked" is another word often repeated, and "that" (you can usually do without most, though not all, "that"s).

And again (third read. Some editors stick with two reads. I’m old-fashioned).

Let’s assume by this stage that you’re feeling confident. You’ve incorporated your beta readers’ comments. The characters have arcs, the story has structure, conflict, resolution and the plot makes sense. You’ve read it over till your eyes are twirling with tiredness. You’ve caught cartloads of typos, corrected grammatical aberrations and added literary lintels to every scene. You’re HAPPY WITH IT. Yay! Time for icecream Mmmmm-maybe not yet, because ...

Now, line edit it. Don’t line edit until you are completely finished tinkering with the prose. Don’t pay an editor to line edit any full ms until you’re completely happy with it. The line edit is where I read every sentence slowly and deliberately – for sense, for flow, for rhythm, character, verisimilitude … for all those pesky wee commas I don’t need (and those I missed out, which I should insert). I read every word slowly and carefully, thinking about what I’ve written, every sentence, every paragraph, over and over until the end. Yes, I’ve rewriten, checked, cut, tightened and honed. That’s not a line edit. Only line edit at the very end, when you’ve finished all tinkering. By the end of your line edit, you’ll be sick to death of your ms (at least, I usually am). Now …

Proofread it. This is where I’m not the slightest bit interested in characterisation, scenes, extraneous words and expressions or whether the dialogue is tight or woolly – because hopefully I’ve sorted all that. Now I concentrate on just the words. Words like world -v- word. Their, they’re and there; its and it’s. Niece or nice, or even neice (I’ve seen that go through even though the writer spelled it correctly – the printer made a mistake and no one double-checked the final proof). Check. Every. Single. World. (Did you spot that one?)

I know you’re going to hate me now but we’re all professionals here, aren’t we? So … either find yourself a professional editor who will give your ms a final proofread or, if you can’t afford that, or don’t have a friend on Litopia who’ll help you out, then you have to

Proofread it again.

And now you’re done. Now you can have the icecream. Now you can send it to an agent or publisher (or publish it independently). And if the agent or publisher accepts it, you can be sure they will ask for some more rewrites or structural edits – and the whole process starts all over again.

Here are some of my own edits, which I took a note of after I’d written a first draft (the story is set in the 13th century, so that "sack of anvils" suits the time. I wouldn't use it in a 21st-century story):

I lunged, grabbed the cheese. (5 words)
BECAME:
I lunged for the cheese (5 words)

It was clear fighting wasn’t going to help us (9 words)
BECAME:
Fighting wasn’t going to help us. (6 words)

A glance at Master Gilbert showed him on the ground, his head bleeding, eyes closed, mouth slack. (17 words)
BECAME:
Master Gilbert fell, eyes closed, mouth slack. Blood ran down his face. (12 words)

Telling us something and then confirming it with action isn’t necessary; cut the “tell”:

He was too heavy for me to pull over to the tree – I tried, but he was heavy as a sack of anvils, and my right arm was weak, sticking to my sleeve with blood. (35 words; 3 of them “was”; also, telling -v- showing. For action, it’s stronger to show.)
BECAME:
I tried pulling him over to the tree but he was heavy as a sack of anvils and my right arm was sticking to my sleeve with blood. (28 words; 2 x “was”)
BECAME:
I tried pulling him to the tree, but he was heavy as a sack of anvils and my arm ached. Blood seeped through my sleeve. (25 words; 1 was)
BECAME:
I couldn’t pull him to the tree – he was heavy as a sack of anvils. My arm ached. Blood seeped through my sleeve. (23 words)
BECAME:
I couldn’t pull him to the tree. He was heavy as a sack of anvils and blood seeped through my sleeve. (21 words)

I’ve put in bold the ones I prefer (at the moment). I’ll probably change my mind. That’s okay. This is just to show you the process. Sometimes we add (for clarity, information, or atmosphere), sometimes we delete (to hone and help the pace).

Whatever you do, please don’t think once you’ve written your book and given it a quick proofread, it’s ready for publication. Close editing, preferably by more than one editor, usually makes stronger books.
Ancora Imparo

 

[Rachel Caldecott]

When in doubt about a passage, I put it into the palest font legible and read through it as if it wasn't there. I flick back and forth between regular black and the light grey until I'm sure what I want to do with it.

 

[RK Wallis]

When in doubt about a passage, I put it into the palest font legible and read through it as if it wasn't there. I flick back and forth between regular black and the light grey until I'm sure what I want to do with it.

What a great tip

 

[Dorm Ant]

Taking part in the monthly Flash contest has improved my editing skills, for sure. Nothing sharpens pruning shears like a tight word count. Those who never enter are missing out on a fine tool.

 

[Hannah F]

When in doubt about a passage, I put it into the palest font legible and read through it as if it wasn't there. I flick back and forth between regular black and the light grey until I'm sure what I want to do with it.

I do the same, but I change the font to red. For me, that makes it easy to skip and just read the black. I do the same when I know this red bit needs to move to later/earlier which I will see to once I've finished editing this scene (for now) and am on to the next scene/revisiting the scene before.

 

[Hannah F]

Unless something is glaringly bad, or your sentence made sense when drafting, but now you have to pause to understand it, don't bother with grammatical edits until you have completed your structural edit (is your story progressing as it should? Is your pacing right? Is this character justifying their existence in your story? Have you closed all the plot holes? etc). If you line-edit too soon, you will waste time on scenes pr chapters destined for the out-takes folder.

A tip I had from a proof-reader was, when you get to this stage, start at the end of the book, going back a sentence each time. That way, you can concentrate simply on the words in front of you and not get distracted by story.

 

[Rachel Caldecott]

I'm almost too embarrassed to admit this, but I'm currently doing a structural edit and I'm doing it the old-fashioned way with a pen, a pair of scissors and a stapler (only because it's less fiddly than with sellotape). I printed out my WIP and each individual chapter is stapled independently. It is a time slip novel, so the historical chapters are marked with a pink post-it label. This way I can see the whole book laid out on the living room carpet, and shift things around as necessary. I've also got extra pages printed out from previous drafts or snippets of things I've been toying with. (This is where the scissors and stapler come in). I can add bits wherever I want. When I'm happy, I can transfer the edits/changes to the digital version.
I have tried in the past to edit my books on screen, but I hate it. I find working with pen 'n' paper and attaching an extra bit here and there, much easier on the eyes and brain.

 

[E G Logan]

don't bother with grammatical edits until you have completed your structural edit... If you line-edit too soon, you will waste time on scenes pr chapters destined for the out-takes folder.

Mmm. I take your point absolutely, but... some of us just can't help it – I can't not change stuff that is wrong once I've noticed it.

 

[E G Logan]

I'm almost too embarrassed to admit this,

Don't be. There are as many ways to do this as there are people doing it.

I print out, then mark up sections (A,B,C etc, in a circle) to move – using a pencil, in case I change my mind. Then I mark where it goes now with arrows ('Take in A', circled, arrow).
Those are the professional printers' marks – or they were, when there was such a thing – but the process is no better than yours.

 

[E G Logan]

Thank you very much, ladies. I appreciate how much work goes into one of these Chats.
I found this one thought-provoking and very valuable. (I'm printing bits out right now to keep.) I'm sure some of these hints will swiftly make their way into – or, possibly, out of – the WiP.
I can see I may be going to sleep repeating: "Focus on the last word...!"

 

[Peyton Stafford]

For me, good revision happens when the Muse draws me back into a scene, and I revise it as a writer, rather than a transcriber. No more distancing verbs. No more pathetic adjectives and adverbs. Pure prose distilled from poetry. Everything is cadence, rhyme, and alliteration.

Revision is as much the magic of telling the story as the first draft.

This is not the time to eject imagination in favor of a sterile cartridge of grammar and convention.

This is the time to write from your heart.

 

[CageSage]

Two things I'd like to add:
1. Turning off the writer and writerly aspects and becoming a reader - which means making it easy for the reader to follow the story without a single thing to stop their mind from flowing into the next sentence.
2. Perspective, view, transition from there to here.
Thinking in filmic terms: Wide Shot is often a distant, panoramic view, a vision that doesn't allow much in the way of sound or clarity of objects. Transitioning to a closer perspective requires a transition point. It can be a jump cut - but it must be related. Looking up at the snow-capped mountains, and then a cut to the next scene of the people on the mountain.
Look at all the camera focusing techniques to find the best way to bring the flow of transition to the story, because ping-pong creates vertigo. Don't go from rain falling on rooftops to water splashing the feet to the gloomy light over the head then down to water gushing into the gutters. Move the camera from the rooftop to the light to the gutter to the feet.
Know what each perspective creates in terms of connection to senses (regardless of GoT, where a person standing at the base of a tall wall, and hundreds of feet back from the gate, can be heard by a person atop that wall).
You can't smell a person's scent unless they're in close up; at a pinch, a mid-shot (waist to head visual), but only if the scent is overpowering!

 

[RK Wallis]

If you line-edit too soon, you will waste time on scenes pr chapters destined for the out-takes folder.

Very true Thanks for mentioning that, we should have prefaced our CC with it

Mmm. I take your point absolutely, but... some of us just can't help it – I can't not change stuff that is wrong once I've noticed it.

Also equally true I'm learning to recognise scenes that might not make the cut and not touch them, but otherwise, I'm a compulsive fixer too. Writing is a process of discovery. I'm still discovering myself

I can see I may be going to sleep repeating: "Focus on the last word...!"

Isn't that the best tip ever?!

It is a time slip novel, so the historical chapters are marked with a pink post-it label.

What a great idea, and by separating everything, you won't get lost in the story. I used to be a tactile person and one time I made index cards (at the planning stage, so not editing), and sorted them around on the floor in front of me. Now, I'm forced to find ways of doing my tactile process on the computer. Fortunately, Scrivener makes you default to breaking up your book into scenes and I can colour code and do so much more. When I'm editing for the big picture, Scrivener enables me to shuffle around scenes, mark for as first, revised, final, to-do etc (I can tailor).

Less is often more when it comes to describing action and plot

Somewhere in my YouTube browsing, one author (Irish from memory) said he makes a game of cutting words. That's become my habit too. I find myself searching for ways to reduce sentence word count, but add more meaning (Pete is in my head, saying, "fewer words, more meaning"). Less is more in this tense scene. Earlier, Hannibal warned Starling this serial killer has "a goatish odour":

She moved, quietly, her shoulder barely brushing the wall, brushing it too lightly for sound, one hand extended ahead, the gun at waist level, close to her in the confined hallway. Out into the workroom now. Feel the space opening up. Open room. In the crouch in the open room, arms out, both hands on the gun. You know exactly where the gun is, it’s just below eye level. Stop, listen. Head and body and arms turning together like a turret. Stop, listen.

In absolute black the hiss of steam pipes, trickle of water.

Heavy in her nostrils the smell of the goat.

Catherine keening.

Harris, Thomas. Silence Of The Lambs (Hannibal Lecter) . Random House. Kindle Edition.

You don't have, "I enter an open room." The moment is tense and fast paced. Hence just, "Open room."

With line-by-line edits, I also watch for phrases starting with "to." Often an indication you've slipped into telling i.e. "I went into the kitchen to fetch a knife." Instead of, "I went into the kitchen. Stone counters surround a square island. Red toaster. Industrial coffee machine. Jarrah knife block. Knife."

Not a fab example, but you get the idea

 

[LJ Beck]

Thank you so much for this great article. So much wisdom.

I've been editing for what feels like ages, through 3 rounds of feedback, I don't know how many times I've read it over myself. There's always more to fix, more to cut, more to clarify. But I felt that I was getting there, you know?

I'm drowning in sadness over the word count thing. When I checked this last time (granted, it was years ago) the outer range for spec fic was much higher. The wonderful peps in the huddle tried to tell me that my word count was too high, and I foolishly thought I was okay. Perhaps I wasn't ready to hear that I had written almost 2 books worth of word count, not one. Whenever I asked readers what I could cut, they said nothing. When I asked if it was too long, they said no. But they're not agents or publishers, they're writers and readers.

I was preparing to query after my current edit, but now I'm derailed and don't know what to do.

 

[Pamela Jo]

Thank you so much for this great article. So much wisdom.

I've been editing for what feels like ages, through 3 rounds of feedback, I don't know how many times I've read it over myself. There's always more to fix, more to cut, more to clarify. But I felt that I was getting there, you know?

I'm drowning in sadness over the word count thing. When I checked this last time (granted, it was years ago) the outer range for spec fic was much higher. The wonderful peps in the huddle tried to tell me that my word count was too high, and I foolishly thought I was okay. Perhaps I wasn't ready to hear that I had written almost 2 books worth of word count, not one. Whenever I asked readers what I could cut, they said nothing. When I asked if it was too long, they said no. But they're not agents or publishers, they're writers and readers.

I was preparing to query after my current edit, but now I'm derailed and don't know what to do.

I think the suggestion to think of breaking it down into a series of books could put you ahead of the game. But as with everything else in life-no experience is a waste.

 

[Pamela Jo]

Instead of kicking yourself for being a bad writer when you find another inside out sentence in the passive as noted above- realise your brain is working out the image as it falls on the page. It's more important to get that image, that thought ,down than try and make yourself think in perfect sentences. Like socks when you pull them off-your sentences just need to be pulled rightside out again. it's a brain -thinking thing not a bad writer thing.

 

[Vagabond Heart]

Thank you so much for this great article. So much wisdom.

I've been editing for what feels like ages, through 3 rounds of feedback, I don't know how many times I've read it over myself. There's always more to fix, more to cut, more to clarify. But I felt that I was getting there, you know?

I'm drowning in sadness over the word count thing. When I checked this last time (granted, it was years ago) the outer range for spec fic was much higher. The wonderful peps in the huddle tried to tell me that my word count was too high, and I foolishly thought I was okay. Perhaps I wasn't ready to hear that I had written almost 2 books worth of word count, not one. Whenever I asked readers what I could cut, they said nothing. When I asked if it was too long, they said no. But they're not agents or publishers, they're writers and readers.

I was preparing to query after my current edit, but now I'm derailed and don't know what to do.

Ooh it’s a hard old job, this. Well done for persevering through the snotty bit. May I make a suggestion? Write a proper synopsis (maybe watch Pete’s new seminar first), and put it in the writing workshop.
Writing the synopsis will allow you to stand back and see if there are too many subplots or characters crowding out the heart of the story. Or if there are smaller, complete books it could be broken into. And putting it in the workshop for feedback will have the same value as putting it in a drawer for 6 months - it allows fresh eyes on the piece.
Xxxx

 

[Rachel Caldecott]

Very true Thanks for mentioning that, we should have prefaced out CC with it



Also equally true I'm learning to recognise scenes that might not make the cut and not touch them, but otherwise, I'm a compulsive fixer too. Writing is a process of discovery. I'm still discovering myself



Isn't that the best tip ever?!



What a great idea, and by separating everything, you won't get lost in the story. I used to be a tactile person and one time I made index cards (at the planning stage, so not editing), and sorted them around on the floor in front of me. Now, I'm forced to find ways of doing my tactile process on the computer. Fortunately, Scrivener makes you default to breaking up your book into scenes and I can colour code and do so much more. When I'm editing for the big picture, Scrivener enables me to shuffle around scenes, mark for as first, revised, final, to-do etc (I can tailor).



Somewhere in my YouTube browsing, one author (Irish from memory) said he makes a game of cutting words. That's become my habit too. I find myself searching for ways to reduce sentence word count, but add more meaning (Pete is in my head, saying, "fewer words, more meaning"). Less is more in this tense scene. Earlier, Hannibal warned Starling this serial killer has "a goatish odour":

She moved, quietly, her shoulder barely brushing the wall, brushing it too lightly for sound, one hand extended ahead, the gun at waist level, close to her in the confined hallway. Out into the workroom now. Feel the space opening up. Open room. In the crouch in the open room, arms out, both hands on the gun. You know exactly where the gun is, it’s just below eye level. Stop, listen. Head and body and arms turning together like a turret. Stop, listen.

In absolute black the hiss of steam pipes, trickle of water.

Heavy in her nostrils the smell of the goat.

Catherine keening.

Harris, Thomas. Silence Of The Lambs (Hannibal Lecter) . Random House. Kindle Edition.

You don't have, "I enter an open room." The moment is tense and fast paced. Hence just, "Open room."

With line-by-line edits, I also watch for phrases starting with "to." Often an indication you've slipped into telling i.e. "I went into the kitchen to fetch a knife." Instead of, "I went into the kitchen. Stone counters surround a square island. Red toaster. Industrial coffee machine. Jarrah knife block. Knife."

Not a fab example, but you get the idea

I go through at the end using the word search tool, putting in typical filler words, (like 'just', 'then', or 'really', etc) and cutting them if possible when I find them.

 

[Dorm Ant]

I didn't realise that I overused the words "continued" and "shrugged" until a beta pointed it out. Went back through with Word Find & Replace and zapped most of 'em.

With regards to filler words, it's the biggest issue that I spot and point out in other people's work. A story cleansed of most fillers is a purer story.

That, and "...they began to..."

I urge all writers to do a F&R on "began to" and blitz the buggers. Characters DO things. They don't don't begin to do things unless they specifically get interrupted.

 

[E G Logan]

I was preparing to query after my current edit, but now I'm derailed and don't know what to do

I haven't read it, so probably shouldn't comment – but is there any way you can make this into two books? Think hard.

If you try to write a very tight synopsis, that will help point you at what really needs to go in. And which are the 'optional extras'.

BUT do not, absolutely not, start hacking madly, in a panic. Take some bits out, yes – maybe kill off a couple of characters, take out a sub-plot or three – but SAVE THE CUT STUFF. (Yes, that was heartfelt, born of experience...) If you then have one book of the desired length, you may find in the out-takes you have much of the material for a sequel.

 

[Hannah F]

Thank you so much for this great article. So much wisdom.

I've been editing for what feels like ages, through 3 rounds of feedback, I don't know how many times I've read it over myself. There's always more to fix, more to cut, more to clarify. But I felt that I was getting there, you know?

I'm drowning in sadness over the word count thing. When I checked this last time (granted, it was years ago) the outer range for spec fic was much higher. The wonderful peps in the huddle tried to tell me that my word count was too high, and I foolishly thought I was okay. Perhaps I wasn't ready to hear that I had written almost 2 books worth of word count, not one. Whenever I asked readers what I could cut, they said nothing. When I asked if it was too long, they said no. But they're not agents or publishers, they're writers and readers.

I was preparing to query after my current edit, but now I'm derailed and don't know what to do.

Today's trend for speculative fiction is 100 000 to 120 000. If it's not a debut and you have a good following, they'll read a higher wordcount. If it's your debut, many agents worry if you go a great deal higher. For a start, thicker books are more expensive to produce. Many readers are less likely to buy a super-thick book from an unknown author (though buying blind, so to speak, from Amazon does make the size thing less daunting because they can't see it, but you can see the thickness in bookshops and libraries).
It also rings alarm bells in an agent's brain as to whether your story has too much exposition, whether it loses pace too much in places, whether the story meanders away from the plot in places, and they will be looking for that. |Scrutinize your MS for any of these issues.)
On the other hand, if you hit them with a blinder of a blurb and a blinder of a book, you may not have to worry about wordcount. But I'd be cautious. Why reduce your chances?

 

[Hannah F]

I give my draft 2, chapter by chapter, to a couple of "alpha" readers who are not writers. Yes, they are friends and therefore biased, but they are also prolific readers who I can trust when they say, "this bit is confusing me" or "Whoa, I wasn't expecting that - in a good way," or "maybe speed up this bit." It's great for structural editing, and at this stage, I don't need other writers. That comes after draft 3.

 

[Robinne Weiss]

Lots of great stuff here. I'll just add my final editing step. After all of the above, alpha readers, beta readers, and a professional copy editing, I read my book backwards, looking for all the little errors we've all missed because we were absorbed in the story. By reading one sentence at a time starting at the end, I avoid getting caught up in the story (by now, the story's good, right?), and can focus purely on grammar, punctuation, etc. It's at this stage I'll discover things like missing end quotes, correctly spelled but wrong word choices (isle vs aisle; it's vs its) ... things that your brain (and spell check) skips over when you're engaged in the story, pulling meaning from context.

It is a horrible, brutal thing to do--I dread it every time. But every time I find plenty of errors still lingering. Every once in a while I also find a continuity error that has somehow been missed--the backwards read messes with your 'feel' of the story, so odd things stand out more.

 

[Pamela Jo]

I didn't realise that I overused the words "continued" and "shrugged" until a beta pointed it out. Went back through with Word Find & Replace and zapped most of 'em.

With regards to filler words, it's the biggest issue that I spot and point out in other people's work. A story cleansed of most fillers is a purer story.

That, and "...they began to..."

I urge all writers to do a F&R on "began to" and blitz the buggers. Characters DO things. They don't don't begin to do things unless they specifically get interrupted.

Shrugged, oh that word. Characters around the world must have to have rotator cuff surgery from all the shrugging. And then there's NODDING. My characters have been informed they are only allowed to Nod off. End of story.

 

[Eva Ulian]

I often read out loud my work and when I trip up over something or get to a point of being fed-up, I stop and take a look and change or eliminate the offending piece.

 

[Jonny]

What a great piece @Ancora Imparo @RK Capps @Galadriel

Brilliant stuff!!

Comprehensive, informative and chock full of excellent practical advice. A fantastic and permanent resource for the colony.

 

[Terry Lowell]

The bit about getting the key word as close to the end of the sentence is spot on. If in doubt, watch a good comedian. Good punchlines are structured to finish on the key word to get the biggest laugh. If that word is in the middle because of poor sentence construction it kills the joke. Consider these Fringe winning efforts:

Masai Graham - 'I tried to steal spaghetti from the shop, but the security guard blocked the door and I couldn't get Pasta.' And compare with - 'I tried to steal spaghetti from the shop but I couldn't get Pasta when the security guard blocked the door.'

Olaf Falafel - My attempts to combine nitrous oxide and Oxo cubes turned me into a laughing stock.' And compare with - 'I was turned into a laughing stock when I attempted to combine nitrous oxide and Oxo cubes.'

What works to provoke laughter also works when trying to provoke other emotions. Whether it is amusement, sadness, fear, horror, don't step on your punchline.

 

[Terry Lowell]

Shrugged, oh that word. Characters around the world must have to have rotator cuff surgery from all the shrugging. And then there's NODDING. My characters have been informed they are only allowed to Nod off. End of story.

My characters smile far, far too often. I need to make them more miserable.

 

[Pamela Jo]

My characters smile far, far too often. I need to make them more miserable.

Or fidgety. There are whole lexicons for what characters can do with their hands. Shame everyone gave up smoking.

 

[Jonny]

Just had a bit of a trawl through a piece. Interesting.