Microsuction

[AgentPete]

“I love ear wax!” exclaimed Letitia as she admitted me to her garden surgery / shed today.

“You want to be careful who you tell that to” I shot back.

A small catheter was duly inserted, and suction commenced.

“Do you want to see what’s come out?” she asked, conspiratorially.

“Go on”, I said.

It was tar black. Tons of it.

Now I can hear birdsong again.

 

[Vagabond Heart]

I'm torn between 'wow, mate, over-sharing' and 'have you got pictures?'

 

[Pamela Jo]

I'm torn between 'wow, mate, over-sharing' and 'have you got pictures?'

Couldn't have said it better. Except maybe WTF. I so hope Mickle in a Pickle doesnt get inspired and do an homage.

 

[Hannah Faoileán]

Must be the remnants of London pollution. Living in the country will be much better for your ears. P.S. I don't want to see a picture.

 

[TimRees]

Wow! Straight into a romance story and the act of being suctioned in a garden shed - pulses racing! I suppose the fact it's tar black is the plot twist into horror?

 

[Jonny]

I'd just cooked breakfast (waffles and scrambled eggs) sat down and switched on my laptop.

Suddenly lost my appetite.

 

[AgentPete]

I'm torn between 'wow, mate, over-sharing' and 'have you got pictures?'

Yes, I do! She really is totally into the subject, it’s not just a job, more of a calling. I love it when people are passionate about what they do. Even ear wax.

Lots of pics, most looking like some grotesque ice cave stuff, tunnels with stalacties/mites, but all waxen. Vincent Price would be envious…

 

[mickleinapickle]

Couldn't have said it better. Except maybe WTF. I so hope Mickle in a Pickle doesnt get inspired and do an homage.

Aw heck... sounds like a dare. I can't resist a dare. Watch this space...

 

[Pamela Jo]

Aw heck... sounds like a dare. I can't resist a dare. Watch this space...

 

[Katie-Ellen]

It makes one wonder, how would it do in the market, a memoir or a novel about the life and times, or the life and loves of, not a She-Devil, but an ear wax removal specialist? World building is what it's about. And yet, it's absolutely not. How often does the novelist describe the mechanics of application in situ of loo roll, or talk about snot.

 

[mickleinapickle]

@Pamela Jo and @AgentPete

In her shed she allayed all my fears
By poking the muck from my ears
"Darling, hold your head back
And I'll take up the slack
'Til the foul gooey mess disapears"

 

[Ed Simnett]

having recently been accused of being a geek... interesting that there is a genetic predisposition to sticky earwax in western and African populations. More practically you can buy your own product to do basic ear wax cleaning (what my GP suggested)- Rhino ear washer iirc. #notadoctor #useatownrisk #etc

 

[AgentPete]

having recently been accused of being a geek... interesting that there is a genetic predisposition to sticky earwax in western and African populations. More practically you can buy your own product to do basic ear wax cleaning (what my GP suggested)- Rhino ear washer iirc. #notadoctor #useatownrisk #etc

I understand that Native American / First Nations have very little. So prob a predisposing genetic factor... but if so, why...?

Most OTC ear drops seem to be based on very weak hydrogen peroxide solution. Not really effective against stalactites But H2O2 also decomposes quite quickly into water and oxygen, so opened bottles are even less effective.

I did try ear candling years ago, introduced to me (obviously) by friends in California. It was pretty disastrous because it melted and pooled a lot of wax, forming an “elephant foot” (not radioactive, happily). Subsequently removed by a syringe-happy GP, who also removed half the hearing in that ear permanently. GPs are no longer allowed to syringe, probably just as well.

It’s good to geek

 

[Ed Simnett]

I understand that Native American / First Nations have very little. So prob a predisposing genetic factor... but if so, why...?

Most OTC ear drops seem to be based on very weak hydrogen peroxide solution. Not really effective against stalactites But H2O2 also decomposes quite quickly into water and oxygen, so opened bottles are even less effective.

I did try ear candling years ago, introduced to me (obviously) by friends in California. It was pretty disastrous because it melted and pooled a lot of wax, forming an “elephant foot” (not radioactive, happily). Subsequently removed by a syringe-happy GP, who also removed half the hearing in that ear permanently. GPs are no longer allowed to syringe, probably just as well.

It’s good to geek

okok. Olive oil.

 

[AliG]

At least if the olive oil doesn't work, your ears will smell delicious.

 

[AgentPete]

At least if the olive oil doesn't work, your ears will smell delicious.

A touch of balsamic and they’d taste pretty good, too…

p.

 

[AliG]

Spot of rosemary...

 

[Hannah Faoileán]

A touch of balsamic and they’d taste pretty good, too…

p.

Stop. You're giving @Lex Black ideas!

 

[Katie-Ellen]

Vinegar and bicarb of soda does a great job of blasting a plughole....let's just see, based on that logic, if they sell bicarb for the ear thingie.
......And, yes, they do. Make your own, use a syringe.
See if it makes like the kitchen sink with a snap crackle pop.

 

[Lex Black]

I understand that Native American / First Nations have very little. So prob a predisposing genetic factor... but if so, why...?

I have no idea if that's true or not, but I imagine it would be one of those genomes that has had a convoluted track through the various strains of homo sapiens. Like the fact that having five fingers, not six, is actually a recessive gene. I can't wait to see that one come back...

forming an “elephant foot” (not radioactive, happily).

...you get points for that reference.

Stop. You're giving @Lex Black ideas!

"British Agent Ears?" That sounds like the worst fair food ever. Which is SAYING SOMETHING.