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Menopause Parody

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J

Julie

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Just found this by accident. Hilarious. Having gone through it myself and being all too familiar with its various elements such as brain-fog, night-sweats and needing a hand-fan and a standing fan in my studio at one point, it's uplifting that this momentous change in women's lives is being more openly discussed.
 
I'm obviously the odd one out. I never suffered PMT and now I lack all these menopausal symptoms. Nor do I take HRT (I tried it as an osteoporosis prevention, but it gave me pruritus which cured itself as soon as I stopped the HRT). I do make sure I eat plenty food containing phyto-oestrogens. (Maybe it's also because I carefully avoided the whole pregnancy, childbirth thing).
 
Hannah F said:
I'm obviously the odd one out. I never suffered PMT and now I lack all these menopausal symptoms. Nor do I take HRT (I tried it as an osteoporosis prevention, but it gave me pruritus which cured itself as soon as I stopped the HRT). I do make sure I eat plenty food containing phyto-oestrogens. (Maybe it's also because I carefully avoided the whole pregnancy, childbirth thing).
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That is good. I tend to believe the hot flushes are burning out dross in prep for healthy cronedom!
I only ever took natural herbs and supplements. I've taken several for some years. Turmeric, including fresh root; maca powder and turkey tail mushroom powder and others for joints, etc.
 
I had a brief relationship with a soya-allergic man, and pretty much cut it out for a while. I was in the first stages of peri-menopausal change during that relationship and had horrendous night sweats and weird itching legs. One I'd dumped that loser, I went back to soya milk in my tea, and tofu in stir fries, and the sweats/itching went. Once full-on menopause happened (last summer), I got brain fog and anxiety heart palpitations. Coincided with lockdown, so I was able to stay on benefits for a year and not work (it would have been almost impossible to work, while I was going through that.)

The weirdest effect for me, was the sensation of thinking there was a hair touching my nose, when there was nothing there. Had it for months, and it drove me nuts! Apparently it's hormonal and quite common.
 
RG Worsey said:
I had a brief relationship with a soya-allergic man, and pretty much cut it out for a while. I was in the first stages of peri-menopausal change during that relationship and had horrendous night sweats and weird itching legs. One I'd dumped that loser, I went back to soya milk in my tea, and tofu in stir fries, and the sweats/itching went. Once full-on menopause happened (last summer), I got brain fog and anxiety heart palpitations. Coincided with lockdown, so I was able to stay on benefits for a year and not work (it would have been almost impossible to work, while I was going through that.)

The weirdest effect for me, was the sensation of thinking there was a hair touching my nose, when there was nothing there. Had it for months, and it drove me nuts! Apparently it's hormonal and quite common.
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I had itchy legs too. Right on my shins. Got nervous about driving - felt like it was a big risk - kept imagining a crash. Also became worse as a passenger, like whoever was driving was getting too near walls, not being attentive, etc. Generally felt low and yuck, even though I exercised.
The hair sensation sounds most weird! Apparently, soya products good for menopause symptoms.
 
Had bad post natal depression (inheriting crappy woman genes). So they tried to treat it (as it wouldn’t go away) by simulating the menopause via an implant. When that didn’t work, they tried other things. Which also didn’t work. However, the hot flushes and Menopause symptoms I had with implant never went away either. Been 31 years of it now, lol.
When ‘the change’ actually happened it simply quadrupled in ferocity.
But at least I had a hubby with very cold feet in bed, which was great.
 
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Vagabond Heart said:
Had bad post natal depression (inheriting crappy woman genes). So they tried to treat it (as it wouldn’t go away) by simulating the menopause via an implant. When that didn’t work, they tried other things. Which also didn’t work. However, the hot flushes and Menopause symptoms I had with implant never went away either. Been 31 years of it now, lol.
When ‘the change’ actually happened it simply quadrupled in ferocity.
But at least I had a hubby with very cold feet in bed, which was great.
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I had PND after 2nd child - took passiflora incarnata. You sound like you've really suffered there, Vagabond. I have the menopause exchange newsletter in my inbox, which supplies a wide variety of ideas and support.

Norma Goldman writes: Anyone with an interest in the menopause, midlife and post-menopausal health can receive The Menopause Exchange quarterly newsletters for FREE. Please tell your friends, family and colleagues to visit our website (www.menopause-exchange.co.uk) for information on how to receive them.

I'd add more, but Franny's mithering to go out! xxx
 
@Vagabond Heart and @RG Worsey - a word I’ve always used as a Brummie. I remember my mum often telling me to stop mithering her. Not sure how far up and down the country it‘s found. My Plymouthian husband says it, but I think he’s gotten it from me! ;)

Well maybe our lovely Americans need to stretch their word hoard. :)
 
Galadriel said:
@Vagabond Heart and @RG Worsey - a word I’ve always used as a Brummie. I remember my mum often telling me to stop mithering her. Not sure how far up and down the country it‘s found. My Plymouthian husband says it, but I think he’s gotten it from me! ;)

Well maybe our lovely Americans need to stretch their word hoard. :)
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My mother, from Lancashire, used to say stop moidering. Nowhere near as nice as mithering, but suited her state of mind when she said it.
 
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