Carol Rose
Basic
ADJECTIVE: a word or phrase naming an attribute, added to or grammatically related to a noun to modify or describe it.
We all know what they do. They modify, or describe nouns. Persons, places, things, or ideas. But as with everything in writing, less is more.
Consider the following example:
Under a cloudless, bright, sunny sky, a cute, pug-nosed, pig-tailed girl in a fluffy, pink, shiny dress skipped along, inhaling the scent of freshly-mowed, green, succulent grass.
That's a lot of description for four nouns! Sky, girl, dress, and grass. Twelve, to be exact. Twelve adjectives to describe four nouns, in one sentence.
A bit over-the-top? Yes, but we see this all the time in unpublished work, and I'm sorry to say, sometimes in published work.
Here's the thing about reading adjectives from a psychology standpoint. From the science of how we read and process words on a page.
We're working to SEE all that description. Our brains are trying to keep up with those words firing off in rapid succession, while also putting the verbs - the action - in there, to visualize all of it.
Go back and read the example sentence. How long did it take you to read it? Not see it, only read it. About four seconds? Less? More? Now, how many times did you need to read it in order to SEE all that description? Really visualize it, as the author wrote it? Probably more than once, if you're like most people. Or, you simply skimmed over those adjectives and instead were left with the flat image of a little girl skipping along in some grass.
As readers, we like description. Some like it more than others, but we need SOME to paint a picture in our heads of what the characters look like, where they are, and what that world looks like. But if you toss too much at us, we shut down. We block it out to get to the action parts. What are those characters doing? What keeps that story moving forward?
It's not more description, that's for sure. Adjectives slow the pace and force the reader to work a bit harder to see the image. They drag the book down. They don't let us get to the meat of the story, which of course is our characters and their arc.
Am I telling you to NEVER use them? Of course not.
But consider the sentence and the image above, rewritten like this:
Under a cloudless sky, a cute girl in pig-tails skipped along freshly-mowed grass.
You still have an image. A nice one. An easy one to see. And, we have plenty to work with to add to that:
Under a cloudless sky, a cute girl in pig-tails skipped along freshly-mowed grass. Bright sunshine caught the silver threads in the wide skirt of her pink dress, giving it a shimmering quality as she moved.
Now we see the dress as well, but we've had time to first absorb the cloudless sky, the girl who is our character, and the freshly-mowed grass. We've also given that shiny quality we described for the dress an explanation, rather than simply letting the adjectives hang out there in space.
Let's keep going and add another layer:
Under a cloudless sky, a cute girl in pig-tails skipped along freshly-mowed grass. Bright sunshine caught the silver threads in the wide skirt of her pink dress, giving it a shimmering quality as she moved. When the succulent scent of the grass tickled her pug nose, she giggled.
We've finally added another action - giggling, and given it a reason. It's not just a random verb stuck in there. It ties back into the freshly-mowed grass, also not leaving that adjective hanging out there in space with no real purpose.
That's another point to make. If you're going to spend all that effort describing something, give it a purpose. A reason it's in the story. Otherwise it's just filler.
We all know what they do. They modify, or describe nouns. Persons, places, things, or ideas. But as with everything in writing, less is more.
Consider the following example:
Under a cloudless, bright, sunny sky, a cute, pug-nosed, pig-tailed girl in a fluffy, pink, shiny dress skipped along, inhaling the scent of freshly-mowed, green, succulent grass.
That's a lot of description for four nouns! Sky, girl, dress, and grass. Twelve, to be exact. Twelve adjectives to describe four nouns, in one sentence.
A bit over-the-top? Yes, but we see this all the time in unpublished work, and I'm sorry to say, sometimes in published work.
Here's the thing about reading adjectives from a psychology standpoint. From the science of how we read and process words on a page.
We're working to SEE all that description. Our brains are trying to keep up with those words firing off in rapid succession, while also putting the verbs - the action - in there, to visualize all of it.
Go back and read the example sentence. How long did it take you to read it? Not see it, only read it. About four seconds? Less? More? Now, how many times did you need to read it in order to SEE all that description? Really visualize it, as the author wrote it? Probably more than once, if you're like most people. Or, you simply skimmed over those adjectives and instead were left with the flat image of a little girl skipping along in some grass.
As readers, we like description. Some like it more than others, but we need SOME to paint a picture in our heads of what the characters look like, where they are, and what that world looks like. But if you toss too much at us, we shut down. We block it out to get to the action parts. What are those characters doing? What keeps that story moving forward?
It's not more description, that's for sure. Adjectives slow the pace and force the reader to work a bit harder to see the image. They drag the book down. They don't let us get to the meat of the story, which of course is our characters and their arc.
Am I telling you to NEVER use them? Of course not.
But consider the sentence and the image above, rewritten like this:Under a cloudless sky, a cute girl in pig-tails skipped along freshly-mowed grass.
You still have an image. A nice one. An easy one to see. And, we have plenty to work with to add to that:
Under a cloudless sky, a cute girl in pig-tails skipped along freshly-mowed grass. Bright sunshine caught the silver threads in the wide skirt of her pink dress, giving it a shimmering quality as she moved.
Now we see the dress as well, but we've had time to first absorb the cloudless sky, the girl who is our character, and the freshly-mowed grass. We've also given that shiny quality we described for the dress an explanation, rather than simply letting the adjectives hang out there in space.
Let's keep going and add another layer:
Under a cloudless sky, a cute girl in pig-tails skipped along freshly-mowed grass. Bright sunshine caught the silver threads in the wide skirt of her pink dress, giving it a shimmering quality as she moved. When the succulent scent of the grass tickled her pug nose, she giggled.
We've finally added another action - giggling, and given it a reason. It's not just a random verb stuck in there. It ties back into the freshly-mowed grass, also not leaving that adjective hanging out there in space with no real purpose.
That's another point to make. If you're going to spend all that effort describing something, give it a purpose. A reason it's in the story. Otherwise it's just filler.