One of the reasons Litopia is such a nice place on the ‘net (and isn’t that an unusual sentence to read?) is that we have a clear set of shared values. If you want to be part of our community, you’re expected to sign up to what we call The Prime Directive.
It consists of three parts.
We are writers.
We wrangle words for a living.
Therefore we understand the power of words to both hurt and to heal.
People who knowingly & intentionally use their words to cause distress to other Litopians have a very short lifespan here. We show them the door. They can work out their own personal issues almost anywhere else on the ‘net… But not here.
Occasionally, offence may be caused unintentionally. Writing is an imperfect medium, alfter all. Words may sometimes have meanings we don’t intend them to have. Our intention may be benign, but the consequences may not be. In which case, see part three.
It takes two to tango.
And to pick a fight.
Any offence given, whether intentional or not, requires an aggressive reaction in order to escalate.
Don’t. That’s not the way we do things here. First, consider whether offence was genuinely intended. If not, then you don’t need to respond.
If it was, then the correct response is to pass the matter to the Guardians. They will intervene and resolve. That’s their function here, and that’s why we should all be grateful to them.
As a corollary to that, I’d add that if you happen to see a (very rare) dispute arising here, the correct response is not to pile in on one or other “side”. If you do that, you’re escalating things. And you’re just as culpable as either or both parties.
Instead, you should alert the Guardians, then stay out of it.
The art of apology is not something much considered (or valued) in our wider society.
It should be.
Most apologies you hear these days (if you hear any) begin with “I’m sorry if…” which is at best conditional, at worst a passive-aggressive deflection of blame onto the offended person.
A sincere apology costs you nothing.
It simply means saying – I understand that I’ve hurt you. And I’m genuinely sorry. Perhaps I can make it better.
It consists of three parts.
1) Don’t Give Offence.
We are writers.
We wrangle words for a living.
Therefore we understand the power of words to both hurt and to heal.
People who knowingly & intentionally use their words to cause distress to other Litopians have a very short lifespan here. We show them the door. They can work out their own personal issues almost anywhere else on the ‘net… But not here.
Occasionally, offence may be caused unintentionally. Writing is an imperfect medium, alfter all. Words may sometimes have meanings we don’t intend them to have. Our intention may be benign, but the consequences may not be. In which case, see part three.
2) Don’t Take Offence.
It takes two to tango.
And to pick a fight.
Any offence given, whether intentional or not, requires an aggressive reaction in order to escalate.
Don’t. That’s not the way we do things here. First, consider whether offence was genuinely intended. If not, then you don’t need to respond.
If it was, then the correct response is to pass the matter to the Guardians. They will intervene and resolve. That’s their function here, and that’s why we should all be grateful to them.
As a corollary to that, I’d add that if you happen to see a (very rare) dispute arising here, the correct response is not to pile in on one or other “side”. If you do that, you’re escalating things. And you’re just as culpable as either or both parties.
Instead, you should alert the Guardians, then stay out of it.
3) Always Be Prepared To Sincerely Apologise.
The art of apology is not something much considered (or valued) in our wider society.
It should be.
Most apologies you hear these days (if you hear any) begin with “I’m sorry if…” which is at best conditional, at worst a passive-aggressive deflection of blame onto the offended person.
A sincere apology costs you nothing.
It simply means saying – I understand that I’ve hurt you. And I’m genuinely sorry. Perhaps I can make it better.
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